Whimsey and money laundering

In case HMRC and the serious crime wallahs read my last blog can I just say that I take money laundering, tax evasion and like very very seriously! It is not only a crime it is the machinery which powers illegal drugs and arms distribution, loan sharking, people trafficking, and prostitution. The sorts of things that do not make for a healthy and convivial society.

In the last century, when we were involved in starting and developing credit unions, we were addressed by a person from the Registrar of Friendly Societies on the subject of money laundering. Oh how we laughed! Then I pulled out an envelope, I had given up smoking by then, and on the back of it did a few, quick, calculations. Even in those days it would have been pretty easy to launder a million a year through the rudimentary credit union network and with the restrictive limits in place at the time.

Being a woolly minded liberal I am all in favour of HMRC going round, kicking down each door in turn and confiscating any boodle whether under the bed or not. The alleged owners would have to provide the usual audited accounts and receipts and a note countersigned by Nelson Mandela, the Dali Lama, and Desmond Tutu to certify that they were of good character, kind to children and small animals, active participators in civil society and gave freely to a variety of campaigning good causes (apply buddhistpizzagoodcauses.org/BancoBuddistPizza/Palermo) before assets could be returned.

However, a tale told against myself, I have been caught with my hands in the washing machine, as it were.

A holiday on Paxos started with our taking our first dander down to the Harbour Bar. Being near the harbour, herself was drawn to the edge to peer over. In an instant she was not there. This was not an assumptive intervention of a benign deity more a result of the edge of the harbour being wet and slippy. Panic, fear and other feelings passed through me as I moved to the edge where herself was just breaking surface. With the help of bystanders she was pulled bodily and safely from an early bath and I was much relieved. The only injury was to her pride. Everyone was kind and concerned and the Harbour Bar provided hot coffee and brandy for free. I was able to make the case that as a concerned spouse and weakling I needed to participate in this measure of revivification.

Thereafter, herself was a village icon. Those who spoke English enquired, daily, if she had been swimming and those who did not smiled sweetly and made swimming motions with their arms.
The link to money laudering came when wet clothes and the contents of pockets were processed after the adventure. I ended up washing Greek currency in the sink and hanging it out to dry on the washing line on the balcony of the apartment. Jesus, I thought, thank god the FSA can't see me now!

Banks! Don't you just love 'em?

John Naughton has a post about being challenged over a cash transaction at a bank. He was asked to produce identity information. A full and frank exchange ensued, allegedly! He goes on to draw conclusions about the treatment of customers (victims?) propounded by one Charles Leadbelly in a linked article for the corner house. All of which is fine and dandy. I, too, hate being treated as dayglow dogpoo by some bureaucratic gobshite; someone more interested in discussing last nights telly/football/holiday plans or the latest prospect/ with his or her fellow employee than offering me the service for which I am undoubtedly paying for through the nose in one way or another. (Glad to get that off the old chest, ahem)

It gets worse, of course, Faisel Rahman sumarises his experience and that of others

In 2003, under pressure from the government, banks created and promised to promote "no frills" basic bank accounts, which wouldn't need a credit check. These offer no interest, are badly promoted, and rarely allow people to step up to better financial products. Consequently, there has been low take-up. Much of this is bad product design and lack of bank enthusiasm for poor clients. For example, at the local high street bank near me, if you have a "basic" account you have to use the telephone service and not the teller; at others, staff don't even know to offer the account.

So lets have a crack at the banks, they are crap at banking, they do not treat all customers fairly,
I have not noticed too many Mr Big's being put away for doing naughty things and their doubloons being confiscated for the benefit of the nation as a result of bank activity, rather the reverse! What can you expect of a financial institution which supported apartheid.

The Relief of Poverty

There have been some reports besmirching the good name of those who work unceasingly and tirelessly to make the world a better place for (all of) us to live in. I do not think that the increase in my salary from £300,000 ( in round figures) to a mere £970,000 over the period 2003 to 2007 is unwarranted, excessive, or in the same kettle of herring as certain other remuneration packages I could mention! For those grubby whistle blowers and dirty delvers I will do the math, as they say. It is an increase of 153 per cent over 4 long, hard and very difficult years. Am I begrudged a yearly increase of 38 per cent, 3 per cent per month or a smidgen over 11 grand each pay day? Any less and it would not be worth leaving the old homestead. Mr Leigh may witter on about not competing for cash and high levels of job satisfaction. It is no joke, poking around some of these hell holes looking for honest Johnnys so we can hand over our ever increasing pile of doubloons. Far better to leave the boodle at home, in the banks.

Neatbook

I had a birthday recently. I would have liked one of these:-



Noteboek from Evelien Lohbeck on Vimeo.

Thanks, once again, for the link to John Naughton and others

Spring is sprung!

So there we were, bright spring day in the middle of Thetford.
Here he is or at least his statue.
What you can't see, of course, is herself, round the back of the statue muttering about the rights of women!
There's no pleasing some folk!

Ich Habe Genug

Easter.
Family and indulgence or even overindulgence.
We have been watching the Wire for relaxation! But hey, we're like that.
Spring is sprunging and we are awaiting our crabby apple tree to blossom. Pickies when it does.

Picture taken 29/4/09 Added 2/5/09
A thought.
We lost the war on drugs, we never should have invaded Iraq and what the hell are we doing in... anyway it seems a well known leftie MP Alice McMahon has resigned, no longer able to hack it. Poor wee Alice, it's no the deed punters, it's no the ruined lives. Alice you should have resigned years ago! The fact that Gordies wee numpties have accused X's missus of bein a Y or dooin Z ... come off it.

Never mind it will soon be Schlummert ein.
The living will be easy, won't it?


In the meantime no legal offer refused.

Do No Harm!

Private Eye used the old joke:-

We in the Police Violence or Force as we have to call it now...

a long time ago.

John Naughton has a link to flickr photograph which, given the recent death of a man in London, is a grim development on that theme.

Allow me to provide some medication sir!

Small Earthquake in Italy

Some have taken the tragedy as an opportunity for camping it up.
Some of us have lived long enough to realise that the poor bloody Italians will have to put up with more of the same from politicians, civil servants, academics, contractors, sub-contractors, suppliers, mafiosi, friends of the mafiosi, popes, parish priests, etc etc. The whole bloody circus will be wailing and gnashing its false teeth. But rest assured there will still be DPs (Displaced Persons) looking for respite and homes in 3 months, 3 years, whatever time it takes for a corrupt and failing government to screw the last drop out of them!

You couldn't actually invent this

An email with the above subject and a link: a link
I must agree. Not quite in the

come to Sunni Gaza for your holidays

league, but not far off.

Ad hominem limerick.

There was a young lass called Mendoza
Who looked like an overstuffed sofa
Her smile was sweet
But she thought with her feet
And her brain was a burnt samosa.

Thanks for the link.
Yet again, how clueless people can be!

Politicians do not lie!

You may find this hard to believe but the above is not true!
We all had our doubts about WMDs now there is documented evidence that those nasty Republicans are harnessing Weapons of Mouse Destruction. Susan McCarthy has a blog about mice or more correctly the absence of mice that nails the political process. Being a zoologist I guess she is very familiar with the lower forms of life and their slimy habits.
Susan's projection of how mice might spend $30m is fun and the San Francisco Chronicle gives space for Congresswoman Jackie Speier(Democrat California) to add a measure of perspective about the process and the worthy burghers of San Francisco.

You do have to watch those mice though. Wee sleekit cowerin' timorous beasties they may be but turn your back in a recession and they have got their bewiskered noses in the trough.

Libraries.

Some people think libraries are the biz.
I have been known to comment on them myself. We could be wrong! We will certainly not expect the changes to libraries that the iDog will bring.

If I haven't mentioned it before the iDog is a mobile/broadband phone that is under development by Buddhist Pizza Industries. It doubles as a text and A/V processing unit which comfortably uses electronic paper to display books, periodicals, and newspapers (remember them?) at any ambient light level. It can of course project, via a wireless link, onto an iWall (do I have to explain everything?) I thought the incorporation of the audio switch to enable the text to be read by the iDog in a range of voices from Juliet Stevenson to John Humphries (desending order) was a nice touch.

I can just see one of my nieces explaining to her grandchildren, wide mouthed in disbelief, about libraries and books.

Your uncle was a jolly old soul and in his later years he used to borrow a lot of books from the library. Yes, Kirsten, you remember seeing on VID all those books behind the glass wall in the British Library, well there was a library in the village next to where your uncle lived. He would look up the library catalogue on his computer, you don't need to know what one of those is dear, and order the book that he wanted to read. The library would send him an email, it's like a long text dear, to say he could collect the book, read it and return it for another reader in three weeks. He could have it for longer than three weeks if no one else wanted to borrow it. Yes, Jan, I think he was a veeery slow reader......

Who knows what will happen to books, journalism, publishing, copyright, etc....
What will that do to libraries? What will that do to us?

Magnanimous!

Let's just keep a sense of perspective here.

Yeeees!

Sorry, now where were we?
I must say Mary looks very well and Prince Willie, not sure what he was doing there. Mind you from the look on his face I'm not sure he does either.

Who are you calling a pansy?

There are lots of green shoots and buds in the garden. There are flowers planted by the previous owners and those planted by the Head Gardener (HG) who rules our vast estate with a rod of blackthorn. It is a joy and now that we have both shaken off our colds, maybe the same one generously shared, we can even appreciate the experience with our noses. HG has placed two pots of welcoming pansys by the front door. They have survived the late winter and now bask in the spring sun, don't we all!

The cold has seriously affected my appreciation of wine. Heavens to Betsy I hear our readers cry as one person! In support of the local playing field we had a cheese and wine tasting. I felt obliged to go. The wine was supplied by Shami Gill, an independent supplier from a local village. It was an interesting evening. All but one of the five wines we tasted had no nose for me, sadly. However, they all contributed to an increasing sense of conviviality and enjoyment as the evening flowed, very strange that. We rolled home knowing we had made a positive and selfless contribution to the wellbeing of the pueblo!

Municipal Socialism

There are many reasons for being a member of a credit union or two.
One of the more obscure is the chance to roam around locations at unfamiliar times at near zero temperatures waiting for the venue of the AGM to open. Not having the resources of RBS behind us we hire a room in the library by the hour. There were some chuckles when the meeting agreed unanimously that the Treasurer should be paid an honorarium of £500 for the work carried out voluntarily each year. Some wag at the back was heard to say:-

Shouldn't that be five hundred thousand with a pension thrown in!

While I was waiting for the meeting and stand up comedy routine to start I took this snap.
Not quite up to Bolton or Manchester standards but a suitable reminder of civic vision. A bit like a well fed county solicitor with an expanding waistline and an increasingly vague but avuncular demeanor.

Watering The Hummers

Not what you think.
Susan McCarthy's blog paints a sparkling word picture. It would be quite a sight to see.
Love the title, I have felt like that on many an occasion!

In the meantime link to a picture:- a picture.

It was one of those books, I'm sorry!

Have managed to raise my nose from the grindstone to read a few chapters of

Palestinian walks, notes on a vanishing landscape by Raja Shehadeh.

Very interesting.

Boy we think we have got problems. You spend your life building a cast iron case against the illegal annexation of your land by the Israeli State and its head banging extremists. Land which most of the world regards as little better than a rock strewn rubbish dump but which you recognise as the gentle soul of your nation and wham, bahm, thank you man the PLO have sold you down the crapper!

So it goes!

And then today I read

good gracious!

Science and Priorities

So Nancy and Caroline agree on throwing money at science.
Hmm... I might have considered this before
It's a bit like throwing shoes at failed Presidents. You can appreciate the sentiment but question the aim. I seem to remember, in this country, a certain Mr Wislon muttering about the white heat of the pound in your pocket. I think we have missed the trick here. Money thrown at science does not equal material progress. We need science to achieve intellectual, economic and humanitarian objectives. Science of itself will not:-
- reduce the number of human beings dying painfully and needlessly for want of the wherewithal to live sustainable, productive, and fulfilling lives;
- protect us against the destruction of the environment;
- protect us against the excesses of corrupt and totalitarian governments;
all of which come pretty high on my list.

One person's space programme is another country's supply of malaria nets for a generation.

I'm off to consult with the Stakhanovites of the Suffolk Couty Libraries to see if we can obtain this tome. It may offer a way to shape priorities internationally!
Thanks to John Naughton for the link.
-

The theory and practice of everyday resistance

My Mum would have approved, she was a great believer in communality and cleanliness!

Louisa Waugh's blog is certainly a different view for the blind.

Book Burning Stove

I must admit the horrible, truly horrible, thought crossed my mind again (see end of linked post) when I saw this story in the Grauniad today.

Brought to books: bibliophiles and traders enjoy giveaway bonanza

Thousands descend on warehouse in search of free treasures

It was accompanied by a picture of a volume books, on an industrial scale, stacked and strewn free and ready for......... aargh!

Francais v Paye de Gaulle

Our 6 Nations correspondent West of Winchester writes:-

We are all getting ready for the big game in this house.
The blue berets are ready to be worn, the tricoleur is pinned up on the back wall. I have thrown out some festering leeks I found in the back of the veg box and have suggested we do not want any lamb on the menu. Coq au Vin is, however, stewing nicely, while the claret is ready to be decanted. I have down loaded all the lyrics to the Marseilles. I have been taking accordion lessons and will play along. We are looking after a poodle for the night. I have taken up smoking [Gauloise] and a bottle of pastis has been opened for aperos. Tarte de pomme is up for desert. As a warm up we will be watching a DVD of Jules et Jim, just to get in the mood, followed by highlights from the carrier of Serge Blanco. I just found a cluster of daffodils starting to shoot in the garden so dug them up.

I do love watching neutral 6 Nations Games when you don't care who wins!
Toodle pip,

My feelings, entirely!

Qu'un sang impur
Abreuve nos sillons!

A bas M. Poireaux

February fill dykes

Sorry! I have no pictures of drifts of ice-blue snow, or any of the other manifestations of a winter wonderland.

There is a crisis on and some of us need to keep the inner man satisfied. Now, if you don't mind, I'm having my lunch.

¿Que Cosas Hay En El Mundo?

En El Mundo hay O'Bama :-

Obama: 'El mundo ha cambiado y debemos cambiar con él'

Worth noting the bible on which he swore was closed.
I've written before that Izzy Stone had fun with the fact that previous presidents selected pages of the book to have open while they tried to pull one over on the almighty and the tax payers of the USA.

I wonder what Izzy would have made of Mr O'Bama?

I can't help thinking that a little Isaiah between friends would not go amiss at the eastern end of the med just at the moment.

'come let us reason together'

You know it has a certain something, reasonableness is it? I wonder who Isaiah got to write it for him. Probably Toby from the West Wing, or even CJ.

Our friends in the frozen north

Interesting, inspirational, article via open Democracy, Iceland: "It will fix itself" by Tobias Munthe. I like the idea of thetta reddast, especially the it will be done interpretation. We will do it and we will be better, stronger and more able to weather future storms. The impact of the global downturn on a small country is substantial and the article recognises this and the opportunity it provides for fundamental change...

... there is consensus on the need for change, not only in terms of political and economic restructuring, but also in relation to values and even to national identity. The era of Icelandic excess - parading around in shiny Range Rovers (now referred to as Game Overs), weighing up the benefits of Greek versus Spanish extra virgin olive oil - has come to an end.

and maybe...

For a population as small, interconnected and homogenous as Iceland, the possibility of a genuine cultural shift is less of a pipe dream than it might be for a larger nation with greater class, race and net-worth inequality than this insular outpost in the North Atlantic.

There are some interesting concepts; scratching your own itch is very Icelandic, Auden would have been proud, and the thing about bubbles is that they burst. What I would like to see is a culture of ‘bubble wrap'.

Clearly the "In Cod We Trust" mentality is not enough to save the nation at this stage, but that is not to say that Iceland might not find some salvation in its old religion.

Good luck to them I hope they share any lessons they learn with us!

The Creative Commons

As always, a thought provoking link from John Naughton at Memex to this essay.
Love the hat, and the jacket, maybe it's a whistle! Anyway, sartorial faint-heartedness aside, a nice balance by Howard Rheingold.
A positive view of the network.

One of the first questions that arose from my earliest experiences online was the question of why people in online communities should spend so much time answering each other's questions, solving each other's problems, without financial compensation...

and the explosion of creativity

...that followed the debut of the Web in 1993 was made possible by deliberate design decisions on the part of the Internet's architects−the end-to-end principle, built into the TCP/IP protocols that make the Internet possible, which deliberately decentralizes the power to innovate, to build something new and even more powerful on what already exists.

We have lived long enough to realise that there are dangers.

A population with broadband infrastructure and ubiquitous computing could be a captive audience for a cultural monopoly, given enough bad laws and judicial rulings. A population that knows what to do with the tools at hand stands a better chance of resisting enclosure. The more people who know how to use participatory media to learn, inform, persuade, investigate, reveal, advocate and organize, the more likely the future infosphere will allow, enable and encourage liberty and participation. Such literacy can only make action possible, however−it is not in the technology, or even in the knowledge of how to use it, but in the ways people use knowledge and technology to create wealth, secure freedom, resist tyranny.

Resisting enclosure, resisting tyranny.
A very powerful image.

New Year Solutions

A letter to the FT from a colleague engages in the debate which I have mentioned before.

Faisel and the team at Fair Finance have done some great work. Have a look at the maps which claim what they have delivered. A nice bit of transparency that the big fellows could emulate, but of course they won’t.

It would be interesting to extend the argument about affordable lending to the realm of home finance. How much of the current ‘turbulence’ is due to greed in institutions and irresponsible lending to the subprime housing market in the US and elsewhere? Those with 20/20 hindsight consider it substantial.

There are some good ideas, in embryo, out there, see Subprime Solutions by Robert Shiller and Will Hutton’s development of this based on the Crosby Report.

We need to positively build a system of housing provision and housing finance that underpins and supports the general economy.

I can remember being inspired by the construction of an espigon at the mouth of the river in San Sebastian. Its purpose was to protect the beach from being washed away. The initial stages consisted of very large vehicles bringing rocks the size of a small house to the beach where a gigantic crane would lift them and swing them out to sea and just drop them. The corps of observadores, myself included, would let out a huge cheer at this, great fun to watch. The idea, of course, was to build a substantial, immovable, barrier to the floods of the river and the overwhelming power of the Atlantic in the Bay of Biscay.

We need to do the same with our financial systems and we could start with the systems of housing finance.

So, answers on a postcard please to G. Broon Esq. PM

Let’s have some New Year solutions.
Leave the resolutions to the Amalgamated Society of Witterers, Fritterers and Merchant Bankers!

The egregious idiot

I suppose it was that word egregious.
Andrew Brown has an article about Ratzo Ratzinger on the Cement is Free website. Old Ratzo has been bothering himself about a number of things including trees and homosexuality. Thank god he has not been hugging them or talking to them. The trees, that is, well to the best of my knowledge.

Let me say at the outset that I have nothing against popes. Some of my best friends believe they are god's representatives on earth. Other male acquaintances that I have a great deal of affection for accoutre themselves in ankle length dresses and burqas. However, I have to say that I would not let my son marry one! A man in a burqa can have no style at all!

One of the minor sadnesses in my life, though I admit in some religions and countries it can be vicious and deadly, is that some deluded gobshite, usually in the name of his god, wants to stick his nose into sex and pronounce. There is little enough love, comfort and union between consenting adults in this world. We don't need yet another deluded man, who converses regularly with an invisible being, telling us what we may feel and do.

There. I feel a bit better now. Not egregious in the least.

It's never quite as simple as that!

Nice bit of provocative dressing from Ben Goldacre.

.....much awaited, we have possibly the finest all-purpose political t-shirt slogan ever conceived. Better still, they only reveal their true powers when you are standing next to someone who is also wearing a slogan t-shirt.

I look forward to suitably outrageous pickies of adjacent t-shirts.

I've thought a similar slogan associated with the phrase

I'm a string theorist. I can explain anything

is just biscuit as they say.

Trenchant in foot and mouth!

Tim Harford’s article in the FT Weekend Magazine (December 6 2008) about the battle for the soul of microfinance caught my eye.

It also produced this letter which was drawn to my attention.

The burden of the first part of this was that microfinance results in poverty

....in nearly 25 years of academic and consulting work in local economic development, my experience is that microfinance programmes most often spell the death of the local economy. Put simply, to the extent that local savings are intermediated through microfinance institutions, the more that country or region or locality will be left behind in a state of poverty and under-development. This is an “iron law of microfinance”.

Having some small knowledge of the business I was stirred into the repost:-

The trouble with iron laws, be they of the command economy or the market, is that they tend to crush the people who lack economic or political power.

I'm involved in microfinance because the market in this country and elsewhere refuses to service the sector fully and transparently. If the banks would lend responsibly to our customers I would be more than happy to put my feet up and read more books.

Sadly the law allows subprime lenders to charge outrageous interest. There is evidence, as the FT letter suggests, that the big boys are moving into this area and using the lack of regulation, control and transparency to generate even more profit.

Bangladesh, Mexico etc are poor countries for a complex of reasons and, truly, a dynamic economy is the fastest way to lift a substantial part of the population out of poverty, but it is naive in the extreme to suggest that it can all be simply resolved…

...through channelling much, if not most, of their savings into serious
growth-oriented sustainable business projects.

My (usual) response is that it is never quite as simple as that.

My views were described as trenchant
I made a note to myself to be less trenchant in future!

In the meantime, a happy time to all our readers.
I'm off, through the wonders of steam radio, to listen to some music from some place called Kings.

Midwinter Day

OK
Want to see some nice pickies here they are.
Want to hear some nice sounds, go buy the disk.
You can probably download it for free, whatever!

We are now mainly, apart from a bit of global warming, heading for the summer.
Yippee!

Could even be an xmas xword on the way.

Goodbye to the Shrub.

So farewell then Mr Brush. Keith's mum said that it wasn't very nice of them to throw shoes at you after all you have done for Iraqistan.

I suppose it is inevitable that we are disappointed in our politicians. Personally, I think one of the greatest put downs in Parliament was delivered by Jimmy Maxton to Ramsey Mac on the occasion of his " last meandering, incoherent speech" allegedly:-

"Sit down, man, you're a bloody tragedy."

Now, who is going to say that to Gordie as he maunders his way through the last days. Please god not the Beast of Balls Over.

A final thought. Dubya must be thanking his lucky stars that the Brits never instructed their Iraqistan partners how to play cricket and throw a wicket down at 30 paces!

Eloi Eloi Lama Sabacthani

It has been a long hard day!
The time before xmas and the new year is fraught, but when the fundies start in on the software!

Read this and weep ye daughters of Zion.

In the meantime I hope this gives you hope!

Black and white together, bitchin.

Low flying pig subsidy.

If you go to a nice little site called farmsubsidy.org and put Lufthansa into the sweet little search bar, specifying England as the location you wish to search, you get a web page that tells you, allegedly, how much farm subsidy in the form of payments to LSG LUFTHANSA SERVICE/SKYCHEFS/GCC LIMITED were made in the years 2003-04 and 2004-05.

It is set out as GBP £127 914 (€187 763).

Good gracious, I hear you say, have the Germans learned how to sow, and reap the fields of East Anglia from the sky? Do pigs fly now and are they housed in Heinkels and Messerschmidts that endlessly circle the fens? Does a Lufthansa airbus sneak into Stanstead and let a few herds of Holstein cattle out to graze the runway before extraordinary bovine rendition spirits them to a backstreet abattoir in Dusseldorf? Up to a point Lord Copper.

It is further alleged in my egovbulletin@headstar.com of the 09 December 2008 11:27 (see... for the story) that the airline is in receipt of substantial subsidies on the basis that each time a Lufthansa aircraft carrying in-flight meals travels beyond the borders of the EU, they technically become food exporters.

Doh!

Don't know why I picked on the poor old Germans. For you Fritz the subsidy is available as long as you get your towel on the cash machine first!

Other starvelings able to claim subsidy doubloons have included:-

Prince Albert of Monaco, Ted Turner, Congressman Marion Berry (D-AK), the Danish State Prison Service, Nestlé, the Duke of Westminster and Dutch Agriculture Minister Cees Veerman

See......., and we can rest assured that in this time of great financial hardship money will be spent wisely to pursue industry and economic benefit for us all!

The rich are always with us. Amen!

A bridge over untroubled waters.

From a recent amble.



It's the first one we have been on for a few months.

We are so lucky to have such visions of beauty in our back yards.

There have been birthdays and tea.

The mother in law and herself have birthdays very close together. This results in an irrational exuberance of birthday cakes, chocolate, and the odd bottle of Cava..1,3,5,7,9... etc. Oh, the old jokes are the best.
Herself is very partial to the New Internationalist One World Calendar, not being a quantum mechanic, string theorist or having any interest in the many universes theory! She usually gets one from me for xmas or birthday.
The pictures are always a joy and an affirmation of beauty and humanity. I would not be offering a product placement link if they weren't. However, especially in these straightened times, it seems a great shame that the images have only a month to inspire us. So in the spirit of recycling I added a purpose made frame with easy access to enable the best of the past years pictures to be displayed when I sent in my birthday order. (I heard you at the back, cheapskate indeed! I'll have you know I am a man that fears not to put his hand into his trouser pocket!)
The frame was used for the first time last night. A fine picture of a camel being given a drink from a blue tea pot. A real cracker!

I don't know if camels drink tea? Why not. More people should drink tea, lashings of tea. There would be less trouble in the world if we all sat down a bit more and shared a pot of tea with each other! Mind you, world peace and justice would help of course and the eradication of poverty and most diseases! Still in the meantime, share a pot of tea with some one, possibly even a camel.

A Trailer Park Near You

Many of our readers may not be interested in this link.
Nicholas Carr can be a bit techie but he is thoughtful. I found myself the subject of envy, the blog that can get white trash computing, wife beaters, 30-packs of Busch Lite and a sweet little video from Monstersoft certainly has one with everything.

Anyway, read what you want and get to the video. Now tell me, are you fascinated by this, scared by this or just in awe of the little trucks going about the world 'doin well by doin good'?

Seems to me there are whole bits of the planet that they don't get the little trucks to go to.
Maybe that's a good thing.

Vital statistics.

Well, the lads and lassies at CERN have their work cut out with the puncture repair outfits still.
They may even require a few new patches and the rubber solution has been kicking around for some time. If you have completed the puzzle at 42 and are looking for a bit of intellectual excitement I can recommend a rethink of the way of looking at the properties of particles.

Read it here.

If you can't be arsed here is my take on it.

There a two different classes of particles that you can identify by whether they have integer spin (bosons) or half integer spins (fermions). They also have certain vital statistics which derive from the wonderful wacky world of quantum physics.

The bosons were invented by a Mr Bose who then went on to make some doubloons knocking out overpriced, well dodgy, audio gear on a stall in Ridley Rd. market on a Saturday. The key property of these bosons is that they love to party, they are all over one another. The more of them you can squeeze into a space the happier they are, supercool you might say.

Now, your fermions are a different kettle of herring altogether; very sniffy about their personal space. They were invented by a certain Enrico Fermi, who started out as an opera singer, a tenor, at La Scala, Milan. However, after a good start he had to give up the day job and fell into the physics business. His particles were very particular. They would not use or occupy the same space as any other fermion, they had to have their own. Electrons would go off into orbital at the mere wave from another. Things got so bad Enrico had to call in the Principal Pauli to knock a few heads together, all to no avail. Well, what do you expect from a man with a first name like Wolfgang who is tone deaf. The nearest they could get to a compromise was to establish an exclusion zone to give us all a bit of peace and quiet.

Very interesting; but what has that got to do with the price of fish you say?

Well these fermions give solidity to the world. So the next time you stub your toe as you go out to the bathroom in the middle of the night you can blame those toffee-nosed, very exclusive fermions. Snobs!

Living with an English teacher.

One of the pleasures of (semi) retirement is that breakfast is seldom fraught and time can be spent in reading, sharing crosswords, and generally entering the day on an even keel. At breakfast recently I was dragged from contemplation of my Futoshiki by a question.

What is the opposite of decorous?

Scruffy.

I replied hoping to slip back unnoticed into the logical simplicity of more than or less than of my puzzle. Fat chance, a gentle clearing of the throat produced a hesitant

Indecorus?
on my part.

Further interrogation and consultation of the written authorities produced a consensus that the word being sought for the solution of a crossword clue was the noun indecorum.

I've certainly never used it and given the vagaries of memory at my age have little recollection of it being used in my presence. I would have horse whipped any bounder who had done so sir!

Times hard even Santa gets the sack!

I'm sorry about this but you don't have to read it.

The Grauniad came up with a cracker of a headline:-

Lap lands Selfridges Santa with sack despite elf warning

The explanation:-

A Santa Claus was sacked after asking his visitors if they wanted to sit on his lap, despite warnings about his behaviour from his helper elf, it emerged today.

I know exactly how he feels I have often been let down by my own 'ealth.
Boom! Boom!

As for the Lap dancing; once those Sammi start to tango you are lost!
Boom! Boom!

OK I'll stop now.

Justice

So someone has been arrested.

Mr Green was arrested, held for nine hours and had his two homes and offices searched by police investigating alleged leaks from the Home Office.

Shock horror it's a Tory MP.
Ask yourself if it was a wee scrote accused, unjustly, of nickin papers from the boot of a car in a pub car park would anyone give a flying f***.
Exactly!

I would have him arrested just for having thin lips, a pale complexion and knowin how to spell Bullington or somefin like that.

But then, I'm a hate filled pinko!

The Godfather

There has been some discussion about prostitution in the press. The great sun in our hearts, our moral compass, Hattie Smith, the Home Secretary, said she is concerned about vulnerable women. She has proposed a number of measures to prevent the exploitation, trafficking and abuse of women and children. Good luck to her. I hope they work.

I do know that some prostitutes need a life with choices other than drugs, alcohol, etc. They need access to the wherewithal for economic independence, the opportunity to provide for their children and the chance to realise their full potential as human beings. Until then we will never know if they are prostitutes out of choice or necessity.

My first encounter with prostitution was when I was 10 years old or possibly less.
My mother, a fully paid up Taliban in the diocese of Salford and the parish of St Joeys, introduced me! Because of her Catholic faith she carried out works of Corporal Murphy that would make your eyes water. Newly released prisoners from Strangeways were provided with a meal and warm clothing. Neighbours were supported through illness and bereavement. Bums and noses were wiped and the path of righteousness pointed out to Messers All and Sundry. If that failed there was always tea, lashings of tea. I am convinced her good works were not just as a result of her religious faith. Her early life in the Gorbals, Belfast and the classic slum of Salford was very hard and she realised the value of community and mutual support.

I remember, after a period of tense negotiations between neighbours, the Parish Priest, and my mother, I was told I was off to church during the week at an unusual time. On our way we collected a woman and her baby. At the church some very tight smiles were exchanged and the babe duly baptised, christened and made a lifelong supporter of ManU. My mother was designated Godmother. Being the only male present apart from the priest, I was identified as the Godfather.
Even at that age and at that time I knew the woman was a prostitute. My mother believed the babe would stand a better chance in life if it was splashed and sponsored even if it was only by herself and her bemused son.

Some months later, after occasionally praying for my spiritual charge and not doing much else, I inquired how the child was.

Dead - the answer!

What's that your eating?

I dipped into the first chapter of "Everything but the squeal" by John Barlow courtesy of the NYT.

It is subtitled - Eating the whole hog in Northern Spain. The chapter starts with the importance of the pig. It describes a meal in a restaurant in Galicia, the food - cocido, rabas, lacon- and the atmosphere and the fact that it was shared with a wife, a fish-eating vegetarian who did not even eat chicken, and a small child asleep in a buggy.

It rang a bell.

In Cantabria, where herself taught English for some time, a favourite question to the children on a Monday morning was: What did you do over the weekend, kiddies?
The enquiry brought the usual replies; played with Carmen, Jose, Ramon, visted grandparents etc etc. One little chap could not find the words in English but gave a detailed description of the ritual of slaughtering the pig. It was that time of the year and in his grandparents' pueblo the pig made the usual generous sacrifice. If you don't think it is generous, you have never eaten cocido.

There are some pictures here.

Tripple bottom line.

I was given a snide Rolex as a joke gift and was suitably appreciative. The last time it was worn was when herself dressed as James Bond for an xmas party. The better part of valour prevents me from commenting further.

However, Rolex makes awards for enterprise. One of these caught my eye. Tim Bauer has a project which reduces the effect of two-stroke engine pollution, increases the efficiency/effectiveness of this universal power unit and introduces the use of microcredit.
I'm sure that some green high heid yin will castigate me for even suggesting that such a sticking plaster across the cancer on the face of capitalism could ever be contemplated.

Nobody said it would be easy.

A reflection on the road ahead for Mr O'Bama.
The perfidies of corporate America, specifically the chief executives of the petrol head industry, and the stress that is introduced into a democratic, open society by obscenities like Guantanamo are going to give your man a problem or two.

I know we have the solid, Presbyterian, dour, granite like figurehead of Gordie Broon, recently emerged from political rehab, to reassure us in these difficult times. I do not think we understand how difficult these times will become. Let's not forget how often the comforting, caledonian, tones of some politician have gulled us. There is a strong possibility that you, or someone you know will be perched in a handbasket moving rather swiftly in the proverbial direction, in the near future.

We never see those Black Swans until they are upon us.

It is never easy to right the effects of great evil, certainly the flagrant abuse of human rights. The humane resolution of the fate of the inmates of the concentration camp at Guantanamo will be an early measure of Mr O'Bama's presidency.

Thanks to John Naughton, again, for getting the old brain cells going on this chilly East Anglian morning. No snow yet, and herself is dissapointed, but I'm sure we will be making snowmen and pasting each other with snowballs before the days out.

Science & Technology. Buddy can you spare a $?

OK the party's over lets get real.
Priority number 92 on your agenda:- Science & Technology.
Joe?

Announce we are going to throw a few $s at the egg heads, over a period of time of course?

Fine!
Priority number 93:- Appointment of First Dog.
Any suggestions?

New Scientist has an article commenting on BHO's policy for science and technology.
This has the thumbs up from 61 of the Nobelist of them all.
Times are hard. It would be good to see money well spent.

In brief the priorities are, as they are listed in above link:-
-Restoring integrity to U.S. science policy;
-Doubling the federal investment in basic research over a 10 year period;
-Making a national commitment to science education and training;
-Encouraging American innovation to flourish;
-Addressing the “grand challenges” of the 21st century.

All good stuff - but solve a few problems too. Global warming, famine, preventable diseases, and a few more grand challenges that may face us this next year or four. I doubt that throwing money at basic research is going to produce solutions to major problems.

Take energy, for example. We know the basic science behind producing renewable, sustainable energy. Take your pick of solar, environmentally derived, or even nuclear fusion. We, or someone with a pointy head, has known the basic science for years. What we don't know is how to do it cheaply, effectively and then store the energy efficiently and spread it around without boiling the oceans. There is also the small matter of paying for it let alone the political implications of doing it.

So by all means give the man with the pointy head a few bucks to play with and good luck to him and his ilk. We've got big problems and there is certainly no big science fix, and there will be no big techy fix based on a big science fix. I hope I live long enough to be proved wrong.

Mr O'Bama goes to Washington.

Dateline 06.30 GMT West Suffolk.
The crowds are in the streets. Grown men are standing by their Massey Fergusons and weeping. Relief and joy spread over the faces of the people; the outward sign of a new dawn, a new day!

But wait, what is this I read on the interweb. Voter fraud, child abduction......I knew it was too good to last. How soon the golden dawn of victory lights the blood soaked field of slaughter!

Yes!

Thanks to John Naughton for the link. Go read it, be inspired over your early morning tea, then back to the real world and face up to all those noonday devils!

Very Interesting but Stupid?

A thought floated through my brain recently. As well as indicating my complete misunderstanding of the structure of capitalism it did enervate me, strangely, I need to lie down.

Last week the Fed cut interest rate to 1%. See

This week the Bank of England Monetary Policy Committee is expected by some to make a cut in interest rates of 1%. (Heavens to Betsy!) See

OK so what happens if an interest rate goes negative?

It means that if the rate is -5% and I borrow £1,000 and hang on to it for 1 year and then give it back to the bank I get £50 for my trouble.

I like the sound of this and the money would be much safer in my hands, honest.....

Debt Crunch

Karl Dayson has written a note for the Grauniad Joe Public Blog.
Households not banks the real victims of the credit crunch
October 29 2008

It likens the victims of the credit crunch, such as banks and other financial institutions, to train crashes. They have, quite rightly, exhaustive inquiries into causes and bring forth recommendations as to what can be done and how they can be avoided in the future. Individual and family problems of debt are considered as car crashes on the super highway of capitalism.
Scrape up the pavement pizza and move along now.

The rich are always with us.

I have had my differences with Polly Toynbee. I was once moved to write to the Grauniad to accuse her of stirring up apathy in the middle classes. She had penned an article containing a disparaging reference to community credit unions. Strangely, it was published. I have refrained from corresponding with national newspapers ever since, preferring to sit in a darkened room with a damp towel over my head. I now feel it is only right to give her and David Walker credit for a little book Unjust Rewards. Some very nice ideas and some very interesting results. I particularly liked the suggestion that, effectively, tax returns should become documents of public record.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours!

Social Entreprats.

I have felt for some time that a lot of fairly mediocre people make a fat living out of being, ostentatiously, Social Entrepreneurs. They do not do a good job, they often move with the money and their only skill is in browsing jobs from one grant scheme to the next before the moolah runs out. The poor, apparently, are always with us. The Social Entreprats are never far behind. I have sat, often cringing in disbelief, totting up the cost of delivering grants, advice, support, tea and sycophancy, monitoring, reviews, consultancy, reports and general factotemry to the poor and ne'er-do-wells. Of course, such persons and activity require a parallel universe of flunkys advising such characters. These are embedded in charities, representational structures and executives of central, local and European government. Just don't start me off on registration and regulation.

I have decided to name these characters Social Entreprats.

This week I sat marveling as one Social Entreprat shook his greying locks in disbelief that anyone should get his or her hands dirty doing anything positive apart from passing the policy recommendations up the food chain. No good could come of encouraging direct positive legal action against what you, or the person on the 38 bus, would reasonably regard as unfair terms and conditions of a loan. Always unwilling to suffer fools gladly I pointed out that similar action had brought the banks to heel, almost, over overdraft and account charges. The Social Entreprat retreated into the worsted greyness of his suit unwilling to challenge the wild eyed pinko! There was not a squeak from the blue serge, 500 sovs a skull, at my right hand representing the Government Office in our region and him wearing an MCC tie!The woman with the permatan looking slightly bilious in a slinky grey dress who had arrived in a beamer over an hour ago had uttered not one word but presumeably was looking forward to the final salary pension she would enjoy from the government agency that fed her.

Have you any room?

Have you any room in your heart or your house?
Helen Garner's book, The Spare Room, is a portrayal of life at the end, what we will do to hang on and what we do to those around us.
I liked the writing.

Always leave 'em laughing department:-

I was discussing the problem of books recently with someone who, manifestly, has too many.
I recounted the famous solution advanced by the detective Pepe Carvalho, see Murder in the Central Committee, by Manuel Vazquez Montalban. He burns books to keep himself warm and cheerful through the Barcelona winters.

Hmm... The bibliophile pondered;
Maybe what I need is a book burning stove.

Voodoo Computing

It's really strange how ideas have their time. Voodoo computing was the subject of an article by Charles Arthur on the Grauniad tech website.

This has come at the end of a little computing saga of my own. For some time emails from the secret government department that I represent, but could not name because then I would have to surcharge you, have been on the fritz. Attachments from some colleagues have disappeared! The lectrons were duly input to one computer and then whizzed by the miracle of lectricity and the GPO's equipment to my computer where they were found seriously lacking in the attachments department. Enquiries by me caused responses along the lines that the problem was - my end!
Quite so Lord Copper but my inadequacies in that regard, not unusual in a man of my age and social background, are nowt to do with the email thingies.
An expert opinion was sought and the voodoo view expressed that it was something to do with firewalls and virus protection. This might have a bearing on the case as I had recently had a flu jab. Still it did seem unlikley and I could see no good reason why. Rejecting voodoo computing for the wisom of crowds I entered

Where are my f.....g email attachments you thieving electronic bastard?"

into the gooble box and the answer came back as a first hit. Outlook or Outlook Express, made by Microsoft the well known purveyors of fine software, takes attachments to emails coded in HTML stuff and puts them into code which is not always recognised by us plain text Jimmys.

Hapily, we are properly attached and discretely visible once more.

Now, where did I put that flash drive with the details of the overseas investors. I'm sure I had it with me in the pub last night!

42

They have had a few problems.
While they get the bicycle repair kits out with the rubber patches and plug the leaks here is a crossword to take your mind off it!

1, 4, 5, 7, 10 and 23 are all 8s and are not defined further.
5, 23 may be seen in the 24, 1, 16 at 13

Across

8 Equal time commanding the French - elementary (8)

9 Spike immersed the Italian in frozen water – cold inside (6)

10 8 for weight (6)

11 Return o got (2,2,4)

12 Home untaxed – choice for transformer (9)

13 Accelerator use - some concerns (4)

15 Lucas has lost point and upset his Dublin darling (7)

17 24 sound the beginning of everything (3,4)

20 Student in his cups creates opening (4)

22 Hold to view of messy bib and curses (9)

25 Air riven badly living next to the Thames, say (8)

26 Modern city examination (6)

27 Venus is bovine provocation (3,3)

28 Bringing together organisation if feminine principle has force (8)

Down

1 See 24

2 Drunk mixing drinks with debts (8)

3 Can be viewed from craggy Ben Canals (9)

4 Turn on drug – wild 8 (7)

5 8 in his horse (5)

6 Member directs that system concerns basic emotion (6)

7 Nero, Celt – crazy 8 (8)

14 Fuel- workings lie soiled (6,3)

16 See 24

18 Rob’s tidy made fun for feathered friends (4,4)

19,21 Very successful physical idea true - quoth many roughly (7,6)

21 See 19

23 Sounds like Petty Officer’s 8 (6)

24,1,16 Rocking Elgar had roll on cider smashing 8s (5,6,8)

XWD8


Hints are available, modestly priced, via my profile email.

Never Never

A reference in the Guardian to Never Never by David Gaffney tickled my fancy. I have just finished it, courtesy of the Stakhanovites in Suffolk County Libraries. I thought it was going to do for debt, money lending and the North West what Christopher Brookmyre has done for Caledonian crime. Not quite as much mayhem or ingenuity, a bit more arty but some real gems.

The debt advisor who is up to his nostrils in debt, and because he knows how to work the system, about to borrow a whole lot more. He advises one of his clients to go bust after taking out credit for tens of thousands of pounds, which is split with the advisor, of course. The debt collector who is driven out of business because the debt advisor is so efficient at getting debt written down or written off. The ex-debt collector who pitches up at the debt advice centre because he is now pennyless.

The final ruse is to submit a fraudulent grant application for funds to build a new improved debt advice centre! There is the mandatory drugs, sex, rock and roll and violence.

A novel for our times and our greed.
Very disturbing for a non profit moneylender!

Should you need a fast fix of credit after reading the book or you find yourself strapped for the old doubloons in these terrible times then ABCUL News provided the following web address to make sure you get the best deal.

My suggestion would be, and it does not constitute advice in the meaning of the Act, find yourself a credit union and start saving hard!

Don McCain and Sancho Palin

It's one of those laughable, scary radio pictures.

McCain and Palin in the guise of the Don and Sancho wearily plodding across the wide open spaces of middle America passing deeper into paranoia, hate and bigotry.

Not mine, I have to admit. I'm not sure I want to thank John Naughton for that but it seems to have started something.

Worthy of Credit

Muhammad Yunus has had a creditworthy mention in these pages before. Not the best clerihew ever produced but it gives a flavour of the man.

I have been reading his book - Creating a World Without Poverty - A not inconsiderable ambition as John Major might have said had he ever shown any interest in the subject.

It has taken me a while to get into it but there are some real gems. I suspect they are much used and polished but one which seems apposite now is given on page 49:-

In the past, financial institutions always asked themselves,
"Are the poor credit-worthy?" and always answered no.......
I reversed the question: "Are the banks people-worthy?"

Well now, there is a question. Would you like to know the answer?
Would you like to know the answer before Gordy and Al make £450 billion and change of doubloons from our pockets available to them?

I certainly do not want to see people thrown out of their homes or jobs, small businesses closed down, I don't want to see queues of people outside banks, I don't want to see ATM machines flashing up messages to say:-

- Sorry chum no more doubloons, ever! Have you ever considered the advantages of a barter system?-

I hope they have secured said sum on the soft and squashy parts, the first born and sets of golf clubs of the merchants of debt. I hope they have the bottle to take action when the culture of corporate greed reasserts itself. Of course it could be that the man with the plan at that time will be Dave!

If banks are not people-worthy, what can we do to make them just a little bit more?
Yunus started his own bank, Grameen, and I am sure you could argue about lots that he has done and how it has been done but I think he has done something to attack systemic poverty.

Debtonate!

You may have noticed a few waves in the fabric of capitalism recently, or not!
I have passed a few opinions on it myself.
A nice new word, debtonate, sadly I did not think of it myself.
A reference, Anne Pettifor.
You may or may not agree.

O'Bama 08

So! A fine day on Sunday saw a trip to the coast at Orford.
High temperatures and a bit of sun tempted and how could I refuse.
However, I could not help but notice that your man, himself, a contender for the top job, advertising in Suffolk.

Well there may be a few expat votes about the Ness but I doubt they will make much difference in the old country.

Politics may be the art of the possible but I still think that the nut jobs from Arizona and Alaska are going to slip in on a tide of closet racism! Hey ho.

Going High!

After some days of planning we attempted to execute a walk with the village group. We were defeated by a torrential downpour.

I was reminded of The Ascent of Rum Doodle by W E Bowman which gave me and others much pleasure for a variety of reasons.

If you are in the mood it could reduce you to a helpless puddle.
Otherwise you could check out.

“The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley”

As it were!

We're doomed I tell you doomed!

OK.
So there must be some unease about switching on the Large Hadron Collider come the 10th September.
Well take it from me, there is not much to worry about. I am a string theorist and able to explain everything. What is going to happen - they are turning on the physicists' equivalent of the xmas lights.
Flip the switch and groan. We should have replaced those bulbs last year.
Yes but your Aunty Betty was so out of it we didn't have the heart to turn the power off.
Right check the bulbs one by one and try again.
By October they should have the experiment up to speed, the electricity bills paid and the magnets pointing in the right direction and whamo!
See those two protons, brilliant.

The Sun does not shine.

This is really very personal!
My 91 year old mother-in-law gets the Indie. delivered every day in an attempt to give a fix on the day, the news the weather, etc. and also something to read.
The system, paper boy/girl, whoever, screwed up and the Sun was delivered today.
Though she is gently dementing she was able to stick it unread in the recycling.
I suppose if you come through various personal traumas, two world wars and manage to bring up a family of four while taking an active part in the life of your village you can still tell shit from shinola!

Human Love

Even a miserable old bugger like me has a few friends.
They have provided much that I am grateful for. The author Andrei Makine was recommended by a friend and, importantly, he thrust a copy of A Life's Music in my hand.

I enjoyed it, if that was the right word, and on that basis did the usual with the heroes of the Suffolk County Libraries and ordered his latest, Human Love.

It weaves the near present of revolutions in Africa and the 'end of history' with the memories and drivers of affections that carry the characters through life.

... for the first time Elias became aware of the paths that led human beings through revolutions and wars, through life. He grasped that within the most stubborn commitment to the most sublime cause could lie hidden the desire to punish a man who went off with a rival, the memory of an old woman who recited poetry to her window boxes and pity for a dog. (P93)

Beware policemen, bicycles and flickering lights

So they are about to turn the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) on at CERN.
Expect the lights to flicker a bit on the 10 September if all goes according to plan. I shouldn't worry too much though, trust me I'm a string theorist; I can explain everything.

Given the cost of energy at the moment, I would not be amazed to see collections being raised for the Higg's Boson Memorial Fund, (Charity Registration 999666R)

So, I noticed that the Beeb is after promoting the works of the man himself.

Not before time as far as I am concerned.

Still, a word to the wise, I would be a bit wary about any Copper who turned up in the next few weeks wearing a bicycle. Know what I mean?

However, I am wearing my Ruralshire Constabulary t-shirt with pride, though I have not been officially sworn in you understand.

It has caused the goodladywife to collapse in fits of something, it's a while since that occurred!

Twitching the night away!

We have birds visit us and some live hereabouts.
The long tailed tit below and his 4, 5 or possibly 6 friends dropped into the garden about lunch time yesterday to tank up on the peanuts and then head off!

We also have a long term resident, a female blackbird called Tufty. She is so called because she has a tuft on her head. We think it is because she was attacked by a hawk but managed to survive. Not only did she survive but she has raised at least one chick this year.

4 wheels good 2 wheels better!

We now have 3 bikes in our family of 2 persons.
This is the new arrival!


Isn't it sweet?
Today we shall be mostly riding round the garden!

Prairie Dogs and Buddhists

I am full of admiration Susan McCarthy's post on the not precisely lonesome prairie.
What more could you want in a blog? Eactly, you would want to include:-
Prairie dogs, Tibetan monks, Santa Fe, buddhism, Willie Nelson, beer, Ted Nugent, People for Native Ecosystems, Jehovah's Witnesses, the possible conversion of owls and coyotes to vegetarianism, freedom from religious persecution and a sweet little photo of a prairie dog.

Go look!

It's worth it just for the photo, though I guess from his proud and arrogant bearing this little dog is a fundamentalist christian cracker just waiting to bend your ear about creation by design.

One Day in the Death of A S Esq.

There are times when I remember little of my life.
I do remember reading a book by a person lately deceased.
A description of the time when the chaps in the Gulag were told that their tormentor was dead.
A response was demanded by the camp authorities.
Caps went up in the air!

It was also the day a great musician died.
Someone who led me into the joy of music as a young lad.

So the Butcher of Grozney had the temerity to attend the memorial service!


As John Naughton points out, in the reference above, a bit like Kissinger accepting the Nobel Prize for Peace!

I think the Grauniad may have it wrong; heavens to Betsy! There is mention in the article of Putin attending the funeral but no confirmation elsewhere. Perhaps he was using his skills as a former KGB spook. Come to think of it, that guy on the left with the big hat and the beard has something about him!

Party, Party

Increasingly, the celebrations of our friends include 60th birthday parties or retirement festivities.

We travelled to Matlock Bath to enjoy a party for both. It had all the charm of a seaside resort ( amusement arcades, fish and chip shops, lots of tatty goods and ice cream parlours) but strangely enough, no beach or piers. It is a haven for bikers and on Sunday morning the bikes were stacked along the 'prom'. Obviously, they were the gentle fluffy bikers as they and the whole esplanade of machines, perhaps a couple of hundred, were watched over by one rather young, overdressed, community police support person. She did not look as if she was enjoying herself or more than 17.

The town is one of the (many) places visited and commented upon by Lord Byron. Pride of place in the hotel was given to a few lines of, unfinished, poetry written by the great man. I had this thought that he may have dashed them off in payment of the bill after a bit too much claret, or port, or whatever it was that he used to stimulate the muse. In fact our hotel had a display case with artifacts and pictures indicating the literary and royal connections of the place. Princess Victoria as well as the priapic peer had stayed here. Not, I hasten to add, in the same bed and/or at the same time if you get my meaning.

As I watched the disgraceful third age rockers at the party bouncing to the beat of a sound system that was turning my remaining internal organs to water I thought it was interesting that we use the words retiring, elderly, pensioner, old age pensioner even, to denote withdrawal from the world of work. The Spanish use the term jubilado, much more appropriate.
Anyway, it was a very good bash and we wish our jubilada friend well for the next 60. Jubilate deo omnis terra!

Mind you the Spanish have referred to the disabled as minusvalido for some time, maybe not so much now.

Olympic Games

This is the first and last reference in these pages to the business taking place in Beijing. Those who know me well may think this boycott is to do with the horrendous record of the PRC and the CC of the CPoPRC and that bit of bother over stealing Tibet.
( For further information please see Amnesty and Human Rights Watch.)

Well I never really got that far once I had uncovered the devilish plot to subvert the fair play of the games. I am a martyr to fair play.

The Chinese, hosting the games, have the right to introduce a game of their choice.
This year they introduced Tank Leaping!
You are dressed in cheap polyester, black pants and a white shirt. You stand motionless, shoulders well back, in front of a PLA tank which is revving its engine while the driver keeps slipping the clutch. When the tank lurches forward you leap with a double twist over the tank landing on both feet in good order to the acclaim of the assembled masses.

I now have incontrovertible evidence that the beggars have been at it for years, training with competitors carrying bags, shopping or otherwise. I dread to think what happened to those that were not up to snuff. You know once you let the competition take over you are lost.