Perception

If I hadn't not seen it I would not have believed it.
Prof Bruce Hood is giving the Royal Institution Xmas Lectures. Great fun. Even in a set of programmes about the brain there are lots of bangs and excitement.  The throw away lines are good too. Can I have my brain back please?
We have sat enthralled on the sofa like the kids we are and tried our best to participate. Last night we were asked to count the number of times 2 orange clubs passed between the members of a juggling team of 4 who were using 8 clubs in total. We concentrated; we counted. When we were asked at the end how many times the for orange clubs passed across the lecture floor some of us  punched the air with glee and shouted the correct number of 24. (I recognise my inner 7 year old pendejo)
Asked if we had seen anything else, we shrugged, we got a particularly bad feeling. Prof Hood had taken his coat off, didn't see that one; some props on the lecture floor had been moved, nope.
Had we seen the man in the gorilla suit walk across the back of the lecture floor?

The video replay clearly shows a Mr Yeti not only walking slowly across the floor but stopping to look at us. You know I swear the bugger winked!

Resolution

That time of year folks. Get the pen and paper out, or the tablets!
Short of inspiration for what to do? The late Mr Guthrie had a few ideas, allegedly!

No. 5 Take Bath.

Yep! Tried it last year, wasn't bad.
Might do it again this year.

Many thanks to Brain Pickings.

Wearing out books

In the age of electronica it seems strange to think that if you love a book, a real live book, and want to hold it in your hands you have to go out and buy a new one when you wear it out. We have got through at least one copy of Jane Grigson's Fish Cookery. Currently we have a copy of her hardback Fish Book. We both accept it is only a matter of time before we need to replace it! We were trawling through it, planning xmas meals over our boily eggs, and came across a little gem (under Lobster and Crawfish p 207 in the Fish Book):-

A fourteenth-century German painter, Master Bertram, who lived at Hamburg and should therefore have known better, included a ready-boiled lobster in his painting of God creating the animals.

Note from deity to central catering - I'll have this one later for my tea on Sunday after a lie in!

No fish or fowl this xmas, since you ask.

Dog-whistle Blowing

I have been conscious recently, partly because of my super-power hearing, of an enormous number of dog-whistles being blown. In the interest of brevity I leave you to select your favourite examples. However, Buddhist Pizza Inc. our parent company, registered, as you know, in the canine islands is pleased to offer the following service.
Dog-whistle blowing.
Should you wish to blow a dog-whistle but be of a nervous disposition or in delicate employment, marital or financial circumstances BPdogblower.org is here to help. Payment of the usual fee to our finance director and accounts receivable wallah would be much appreciated.

Alternatively in these straitened times you may wish to do this yourself.

You do know how to blow a dog-whistle don't you?
You put the dog to your lips and blow!

The Panto Season - Madness

A panto was staged the other evening by Newsnight with Dame Violent Elizabeth Tett and three economistas staring into a cauldron of steaming graphs. I felt the chill wind of a more than Shakespearean tragedy looming. The graph which scared the wooly socks off me was the one at the link (image 12 in the slide show) It is titled Chart 1.1 Private sector debt in the UK. Its source is the Office for National Statistics. It expresses that debt as a percentage of GDP and splits the debt into non-financial companies, households and financial companies. In the caption under the graph Ann Pettifor, rightly, points out the comparison between the public debt and the private.

Roughly this is the comparison in 2010 between a poor, wee, sleekit, cowrin, timorous public beastie (~50%) and a private monster (~450%).

Things not to say:-
Interest rates are low:- What forever?
Companies are paying down debt even as we speak:- How much of the £7.5 ish trillion has the private sector paid down in the last 5 minutes and where did they get the capital from?
A big boy called Gordie Broon did it and ran away: Oh no he didn't!
Would you like to consolidate that debt by refinancing sir? Doh!

Questions for the young economist.
How much does it cost to finance this debt?
How much of the profit on the cost finds its way to the Revenue Men.
How much of the profit that does not find its way into the HMRC coffers now sleeps soundly in some tax haven alongside the ill gotten gains of ubercrims and tax dodgers?
Answers please on a used £50 note to Gideon at the usual post box in Zurich.

Full disclosure:-
Having completed his HMRC (Happy) Return, Buddhist Pizza is pleased to announce that he included his Coop. Divi. from which tax has already been deducted and the princely sum of £8 pounds, untaxed, (rounded) which derives from his participation in a Credit Union!

(What about the double blind partnerships which you registered in the Cayenne Islands recently? ...Ed.
Never mind that now!)

Christmas Tree

It being that time of year I spotted this at Ikworth.


The camera phone does not do the tree and its colour justice!

The Nativity Particle

And so it came to pass that a particle was born under a cowshed in the land of Gnome.
There was great rejoicing and 3 Quantum Mechanics appeared out of the East End on wave functions to worship bearing 6 sigmas.
While the String Theorists watched over their flocks in 11 dimensions a star was born.... contd. in Table 92.

Things come in threes.

I've just started The Black House by Peter May sadly topical work of fiction about a murder on the Isle of Lewis. The text is prefaced by a quote from a Gaelic Poem and the translation is given as

Three things that come without asking: fear, love and jealousy.

Three things again though I thing the inclusion of ham and cheese and the absence of fear and jealousy has much to recommend Baltasar's view of the world.

For the man who has everything

At this time of year it is very easy to get lost in a pile of S**T. Xmas, HMRC, Europe (hey that was a big steaming pile!) and the more important things. It does warm my heart that others get it wrong too. As I was ploughing through the worthy way to purchase Xmas presents, Amnesty goodies etc my attention was drawn to the offer of Fairtrade Jonnies from the guys and gals at New Internationalist. Interesting I thought but my eye was caught, on page 11 of their catalogue, more by the description than the concept. I reproduce it here but don't get me wrong or take it as anything other than praising their products with faint damnation. Their calendar has had pride of place on my present giving list for many years and the photos are a source of joy hope and humanity.

Please don't ring to tell them as this link shows they are well aware of the mistake and like the good folks they are have admitted it in a self deprecating way and moved on.
...twisted round banisters... ouch;
...twistable wire... ouch, ouch.
Approximate length 100cm, oh Lordy, Lordy!

Vermeer's Women

Regular readers may be aware of my attachment to a certain young woman. On Tuesday we were celebrating the birthday of a woman of a certain age by a visit to the FitzBillie to see paintings in the Vermeer's Women Exhibition. It's on until the 15 Jan. so get it while it's good and hot.
Herself pointed out the pictures of Gerard ter Borch. The picture of a woman at her toilet contains a satin dress painted with such skill and delicacy that, even 350 years later, it knocks your socks off. Never enough time in the day or in life!

As they say - "Fine words butter no parsnips".