Living with an English teacher.

One of the pleasures of (semi) retirement is that breakfast is seldom fraught and time can be spent in reading, sharing crosswords, and generally entering the day on an even keel. At breakfast recently I was dragged from contemplation of my Futoshiki by a question.

What is the opposite of decorous?

Scruffy.

I replied hoping to slip back unnoticed into the logical simplicity of more than or less than of my puzzle. Fat chance, a gentle clearing of the throat produced a hesitant

Indecorus?
on my part.

Further interrogation and consultation of the written authorities produced a consensus that the word being sought for the solution of a crossword clue was the noun indecorum.

I've certainly never used it and given the vagaries of memory at my age have little recollection of it being used in my presence. I would have horse whipped any bounder who had done so sir!

Times hard even Santa gets the sack!

I'm sorry about this but you don't have to read it.

The Grauniad came up with a cracker of a headline:-

Lap lands Selfridges Santa with sack despite elf warning

The explanation:-

A Santa Claus was sacked after asking his visitors if they wanted to sit on his lap, despite warnings about his behaviour from his helper elf, it emerged today.

I know exactly how he feels I have often been let down by my own 'ealth.
Boom! Boom!

As for the Lap dancing; once those Sammi start to tango you are lost!
Boom! Boom!

OK I'll stop now.

Justice

So someone has been arrested.

Mr Green was arrested, held for nine hours and had his two homes and offices searched by police investigating alleged leaks from the Home Office.

Shock horror it's a Tory MP.
Ask yourself if it was a wee scrote accused, unjustly, of nickin papers from the boot of a car in a pub car park would anyone give a flying f***.
Exactly!

I would have him arrested just for having thin lips, a pale complexion and knowin how to spell Bullington or somefin like that.

But then, I'm a hate filled pinko!

The Godfather

There has been some discussion about prostitution in the press. The great sun in our hearts, our moral compass, Hattie Smith, the Home Secretary, said she is concerned about vulnerable women. She has proposed a number of measures to prevent the exploitation, trafficking and abuse of women and children. Good luck to her. I hope they work.

I do know that some prostitutes need a life with choices other than drugs, alcohol, etc. They need access to the wherewithal for economic independence, the opportunity to provide for their children and the chance to realise their full potential as human beings. Until then we will never know if they are prostitutes out of choice or necessity.

My first encounter with prostitution was when I was 10 years old or possibly less.
My mother, a fully paid up Taliban in the diocese of Salford and the parish of St Joeys, introduced me! Because of her Catholic faith she carried out works of Corporal Murphy that would make your eyes water. Newly released prisoners from Strangeways were provided with a meal and warm clothing. Neighbours were supported through illness and bereavement. Bums and noses were wiped and the path of righteousness pointed out to Messers All and Sundry. If that failed there was always tea, lashings of tea. I am convinced her good works were not just as a result of her religious faith. Her early life in the Gorbals, Belfast and the classic slum of Salford was very hard and she realised the value of community and mutual support.

I remember, after a period of tense negotiations between neighbours, the Parish Priest, and my mother, I was told I was off to church during the week at an unusual time. On our way we collected a woman and her baby. At the church some very tight smiles were exchanged and the babe duly baptised, christened and made a lifelong supporter of ManU. My mother was designated Godmother. Being the only male present apart from the priest, I was identified as the Godfather.
Even at that age and at that time I knew the woman was a prostitute. My mother believed the babe would stand a better chance in life if it was splashed and sponsored even if it was only by herself and her bemused son.

Some months later, after occasionally praying for my spiritual charge and not doing much else, I inquired how the child was.

Dead - the answer!

What's that your eating?

I dipped into the first chapter of "Everything but the squeal" by John Barlow courtesy of the NYT.

It is subtitled - Eating the whole hog in Northern Spain. The chapter starts with the importance of the pig. It describes a meal in a restaurant in Galicia, the food - cocido, rabas, lacon- and the atmosphere and the fact that it was shared with a wife, a fish-eating vegetarian who did not even eat chicken, and a small child asleep in a buggy.

It rang a bell.

In Cantabria, where herself taught English for some time, a favourite question to the children on a Monday morning was: What did you do over the weekend, kiddies?
The enquiry brought the usual replies; played with Carmen, Jose, Ramon, visted grandparents etc etc. One little chap could not find the words in English but gave a detailed description of the ritual of slaughtering the pig. It was that time of the year and in his grandparents' pueblo the pig made the usual generous sacrifice. If you don't think it is generous, you have never eaten cocido.

There are some pictures here.

Tripple bottom line.

I was given a snide Rolex as a joke gift and was suitably appreciative. The last time it was worn was when herself dressed as James Bond for an xmas party. The better part of valour prevents me from commenting further.

However, Rolex makes awards for enterprise. One of these caught my eye. Tim Bauer has a project which reduces the effect of two-stroke engine pollution, increases the efficiency/effectiveness of this universal power unit and introduces the use of microcredit.
I'm sure that some green high heid yin will castigate me for even suggesting that such a sticking plaster across the cancer on the face of capitalism could ever be contemplated.

Nobody said it would be easy.

A reflection on the road ahead for Mr O'Bama.
The perfidies of corporate America, specifically the chief executives of the petrol head industry, and the stress that is introduced into a democratic, open society by obscenities like Guantanamo are going to give your man a problem or two.

I know we have the solid, Presbyterian, dour, granite like figurehead of Gordie Broon, recently emerged from political rehab, to reassure us in these difficult times. I do not think we understand how difficult these times will become. Let's not forget how often the comforting, caledonian, tones of some politician have gulled us. There is a strong possibility that you, or someone you know will be perched in a handbasket moving rather swiftly in the proverbial direction, in the near future.

We never see those Black Swans until they are upon us.

It is never easy to right the effects of great evil, certainly the flagrant abuse of human rights. The humane resolution of the fate of the inmates of the concentration camp at Guantanamo will be an early measure of Mr O'Bama's presidency.

Thanks to John Naughton, again, for getting the old brain cells going on this chilly East Anglian morning. No snow yet, and herself is dissapointed, but I'm sure we will be making snowmen and pasting each other with snowballs before the days out.

Science & Technology. Buddy can you spare a $?

OK the party's over lets get real.
Priority number 92 on your agenda:- Science & Technology.
Joe?

Announce we are going to throw a few $s at the egg heads, over a period of time of course?

Fine!
Priority number 93:- Appointment of First Dog.
Any suggestions?

New Scientist has an article commenting on BHO's policy for science and technology.
This has the thumbs up from 61 of the Nobelist of them all.
Times are hard. It would be good to see money well spent.

In brief the priorities are, as they are listed in above link:-
-Restoring integrity to U.S. science policy;
-Doubling the federal investment in basic research over a 10 year period;
-Making a national commitment to science education and training;
-Encouraging American innovation to flourish;
-Addressing the “grand challenges” of the 21st century.

All good stuff - but solve a few problems too. Global warming, famine, preventable diseases, and a few more grand challenges that may face us this next year or four. I doubt that throwing money at basic research is going to produce solutions to major problems.

Take energy, for example. We know the basic science behind producing renewable, sustainable energy. Take your pick of solar, environmentally derived, or even nuclear fusion. We, or someone with a pointy head, has known the basic science for years. What we don't know is how to do it cheaply, effectively and then store the energy efficiently and spread it around without boiling the oceans. There is also the small matter of paying for it let alone the political implications of doing it.

So by all means give the man with the pointy head a few bucks to play with and good luck to him and his ilk. We've got big problems and there is certainly no big science fix, and there will be no big techy fix based on a big science fix. I hope I live long enough to be proved wrong.

Mr O'Bama goes to Washington.

Dateline 06.30 GMT West Suffolk.
The crowds are in the streets. Grown men are standing by their Massey Fergusons and weeping. Relief and joy spread over the faces of the people; the outward sign of a new dawn, a new day!

But wait, what is this I read on the interweb. Voter fraud, child abduction......I knew it was too good to last. How soon the golden dawn of victory lights the blood soaked field of slaughter!

Yes!

Thanks to John Naughton for the link. Go read it, be inspired over your early morning tea, then back to the real world and face up to all those noonday devils!

Very Interesting but Stupid?

A thought floated through my brain recently. As well as indicating my complete misunderstanding of the structure of capitalism it did enervate me, strangely, I need to lie down.

Last week the Fed cut interest rate to 1%. See

This week the Bank of England Monetary Policy Committee is expected by some to make a cut in interest rates of 1%. (Heavens to Betsy!) See

OK so what happens if an interest rate goes negative?

It means that if the rate is -5% and I borrow £1,000 and hang on to it for 1 year and then give it back to the bank I get £50 for my trouble.

I like the sound of this and the money would be much safer in my hands, honest.....