Perception

If I hadn't not seen it I would not have believed it.
Prof Bruce Hood is giving the Royal Institution Xmas Lectures. Great fun. Even in a set of programmes about the brain there are lots of bangs and excitement.  The throw away lines are good too. Can I have my brain back please?
We have sat enthralled on the sofa like the kids we are and tried our best to participate. Last night we were asked to count the number of times 2 orange clubs passed between the members of a juggling team of 4 who were using 8 clubs in total. We concentrated; we counted. When we were asked at the end how many times the for orange clubs passed across the lecture floor some of us  punched the air with glee and shouted the correct number of 24. (I recognise my inner 7 year old pendejo)
Asked if we had seen anything else, we shrugged, we got a particularly bad feeling. Prof Hood had taken his coat off, didn't see that one; some props on the lecture floor had been moved, nope.
Had we seen the man in the gorilla suit walk across the back of the lecture floor?

The video replay clearly shows a Mr Yeti not only walking slowly across the floor but stopping to look at us. You know I swear the bugger winked!

Resolution

That time of year folks. Get the pen and paper out, or the tablets!
Short of inspiration for what to do? The late Mr Guthrie had a few ideas, allegedly!

No. 5 Take Bath.

Yep! Tried it last year, wasn't bad.
Might do it again this year.

Many thanks to Brain Pickings.

Wearing out books

In the age of electronica it seems strange to think that if you love a book, a real live book, and want to hold it in your hands you have to go out and buy a new one when you wear it out. We have got through at least one copy of Jane Grigson's Fish Cookery. Currently we have a copy of her hardback Fish Book. We both accept it is only a matter of time before we need to replace it! We were trawling through it, planning xmas meals over our boily eggs, and came across a little gem (under Lobster and Crawfish p 207 in the Fish Book):-

A fourteenth-century German painter, Master Bertram, who lived at Hamburg and should therefore have known better, included a ready-boiled lobster in his painting of God creating the animals.

Note from deity to central catering - I'll have this one later for my tea on Sunday after a lie in!

No fish or fowl this xmas, since you ask.

Dog-whistle Blowing

I have been conscious recently, partly because of my super-power hearing, of an enormous number of dog-whistles being blown. In the interest of brevity I leave you to select your favourite examples. However, Buddhist Pizza Inc. our parent company, registered, as you know, in the canine islands is pleased to offer the following service.
Dog-whistle blowing.
Should you wish to blow a dog-whistle but be of a nervous disposition or in delicate employment, marital or financial circumstances BPdogblower.org is here to help. Payment of the usual fee to our finance director and accounts receivable wallah would be much appreciated.

Alternatively in these straitened times you may wish to do this yourself.

You do know how to blow a dog-whistle don't you?
You put the dog to your lips and blow!

The Panto Season - Madness

A panto was staged the other evening by Newsnight with Dame Violent Elizabeth Tett and three economistas staring into a cauldron of steaming graphs. I felt the chill wind of a more than Shakespearean tragedy looming. The graph which scared the wooly socks off me was the one at the link (image 12 in the slide show) It is titled Chart 1.1 Private sector debt in the UK. Its source is the Office for National Statistics. It expresses that debt as a percentage of GDP and splits the debt into non-financial companies, households and financial companies. In the caption under the graph Ann Pettifor, rightly, points out the comparison between the public debt and the private.

Roughly this is the comparison in 2010 between a poor, wee, sleekit, cowrin, timorous public beastie (~50%) and a private monster (~450%).

Things not to say:-
Interest rates are low:- What forever?
Companies are paying down debt even as we speak:- How much of the £7.5 ish trillion has the private sector paid down in the last 5 minutes and where did they get the capital from?
A big boy called Gordie Broon did it and ran away: Oh no he didn't!
Would you like to consolidate that debt by refinancing sir? Doh!

Questions for the young economist.
How much does it cost to finance this debt?
How much of the profit on the cost finds its way to the Revenue Men.
How much of the profit that does not find its way into the HMRC coffers now sleeps soundly in some tax haven alongside the ill gotten gains of ubercrims and tax dodgers?
Answers please on a used £50 note to Gideon at the usual post box in Zurich.

Full disclosure:-
Having completed his HMRC (Happy) Return, Buddhist Pizza is pleased to announce that he included his Coop. Divi. from which tax has already been deducted and the princely sum of £8 pounds, untaxed, (rounded) which derives from his participation in a Credit Union!

(What about the double blind partnerships which you registered in the Cayenne Islands recently? ...Ed.
Never mind that now!)

Christmas Tree

It being that time of year I spotted this at Ikworth.


The camera phone does not do the tree and its colour justice!

The Nativity Particle

And so it came to pass that a particle was born under a cowshed in the land of Gnome.
There was great rejoicing and 3 Quantum Mechanics appeared out of the East End on wave functions to worship bearing 6 sigmas.
While the String Theorists watched over their flocks in 11 dimensions a star was born.... contd. in Table 92.

Things come in threes.

I've just started The Black House by Peter May sadly topical work of fiction about a murder on the Isle of Lewis. The text is prefaced by a quote from a Gaelic Poem and the translation is given as

Three things that come without asking: fear, love and jealousy.

Three things again though I thing the inclusion of ham and cheese and the absence of fear and jealousy has much to recommend Baltasar's view of the world.

For the man who has everything

At this time of year it is very easy to get lost in a pile of S**T. Xmas, HMRC, Europe (hey that was a big steaming pile!) and the more important things. It does warm my heart that others get it wrong too. As I was ploughing through the worthy way to purchase Xmas presents, Amnesty goodies etc my attention was drawn to the offer of Fairtrade Jonnies from the guys and gals at New Internationalist. Interesting I thought but my eye was caught, on page 11 of their catalogue, more by the description than the concept. I reproduce it here but don't get me wrong or take it as anything other than praising their products with faint damnation. Their calendar has had pride of place on my present giving list for many years and the photos are a source of joy hope and humanity.

Please don't ring to tell them as this link shows they are well aware of the mistake and like the good folks they are have admitted it in a self deprecating way and moved on.
...twisted round banisters... ouch;
...twistable wire... ouch, ouch.
Approximate length 100cm, oh Lordy, Lordy!

Vermeer's Women

Regular readers may be aware of my attachment to a certain young woman. On Tuesday we were celebrating the birthday of a woman of a certain age by a visit to the FitzBillie to see paintings in the Vermeer's Women Exhibition. It's on until the 15 Jan. so get it while it's good and hot.
Herself pointed out the pictures of Gerard ter Borch. The picture of a woman at her toilet contains a satin dress painted with such skill and delicacy that, even 350 years later, it knocks your socks off. Never enough time in the day or in life!

As they say - "Fine words butter no parsnips".

Risk! What Risk?

A Mr Krugman writes in his sometimes technical but always enlightening blog that he concurs with a Mr Haldane of the Bank of England. The latter opines that much of the present crisis may be put down to the increased appetite of the banking classes for risk, high risk, the risk of a high-wire act. Whyfor should such said classes of person subject themselves to danger of this kind. My own view is that the present system of remuneration among these folk (based on greed, avarice and the existence of schemes for the avoidance of redistributive taxation) encourages, nay handsomely rewards, the beggars and of course our leaders our own dear democratically elected leaders shuffle the blame, cost and pain for this on to our heads, hearts and wallets.

I think I will join Mr Krugman in vegetable chopping therapy.

A Pretty Pickle?

The Pink'un had a lovely headline on Saturday:-

Pickles combats korma trauma with curry school

(FT Weekend 19 November 2011, p4)
The Gauleiter who, it is alleged, is a saucy devil peppering his policy statements with refernces to the cuisine of the sub-continent proposes to stem the tsunami of chefs, sou chefs, sauciers, sommeliers and understrappers from same by establishing a curry school to train British cooks.

The mind boggles.

Zo Heston! You vill make ze chicken tikka masala vith ze powder of ze great Guru Masala!
Ozervise ze Fat Duck vill be no more fat; it is ze vasser bath for you!

Must have been a slow week at communities, maybe a warm up act for the housing strategy.

If you have any doubts whatever about this government of gombeen men I suggest you consider the poster reproduced by Mr Murphy on his excellent Blog here.

Billion Dollar Art Heist

Shenanigans in the art world seem to be my thing at the moment. I watched the above Documentary in the Storyville Series. It's on the eyeplayer for the next couple of weeks.

If you are interested in art, politics, power, charities, how to organise a legacy, the perfidy of folk and others, good guys, bad guys, and about 26 billion dollars and change you might give it a go. I believe the Barnes Foundation has a website and Mr Wikipedia, as always, has something to say about Mr Barnes, who seemed a good soul.
I haven't got there yet. I'm still shocked, shocked, I must sit down. Could someone make me a cup of tea, on the strong side, please?

The Milk of Human Protest

A pleasant evening in with a DVD from the wonderful Suffolk County Libraries. Sad that they are to be slowly throttled with a ruse to ensure SCC will be able to say nothing to do with me gov. it was those idiots over there. It takes a special kind of mind to dream up the idea of getting an Industrial and Provident Society - a mutual organisation- to torture the libraries to death. I digress.

I have been meaning to watch Milk for some time. I am a great fan of Harvey Milk and what he achieved. He certainly learned how to organise. Strangely uplifting for a film in which the gay hero stands in dog shit and gets shot. Can't wait to see the look on the local librarian's face when I take it back!

All Greek to Me

My Greek isn't up to it but I fondly believe this shows a very tired and overemotional ex Greek PM giving a lift to a very tired and overemotional ex Italian PM after a night of commiseration.

Metaphorically!

Questionable Language

I am certain that I will never write a work of fiction. I don't have the capacity, language or imagination even! (HMRC please take note.) However, I hope that does not prevent me from a good laugh at the odd word or two.
I'm reading The Trinity Six by Charles Cummings.
I happened upon this on page 192 and had a good chuckle -

...he checked his vehicles religiously as a hangover from Northern Ireland.

... I knew the Black Bush and Guinness would do for his immortal soul.

Art Theft

Times may be hard but not that hard. I have just read Sandie Nairne’s book of the same name.

It concerns the theft and recovery of 2 paintings from the Turner Bequest.
The thieves were apprehended, as they say, and banged up in chokey. The paintings were not recovered for some time and then only after excruciating and complex negotiations.
Some gambolling thoughts.
Sandie Nairne must have the patience of a recently canonised stoic.
Geoffrey Robinson, whom god should preserve, is to be blessed on the basis of the tale and his part in it.
A Mr Robert Hiscox, insurer of this parish, played a blinder by whipping into line a motley crew of underwriters, understrappers and underlings. (Note to Self:- find out what he did and we will do it to the bankers?!)
We are assured that all was done honestly, decently, truthfully and we have no reason to doubt that. We should, indeed, be extremely grateful to all the good guys and gals. A truly wonderful part of our art heritage was gorne and is now, prodigal like, with us once more. I have to declare an interest at this point and say that I have been known to gaze at J.M. W’s. product (for several hours at a time but only in the privacy of certain galleries that shall remain nameless.)
All this good work has to be set against the possibility that a part of the money paid legally and justifiably for information to facilitate the return of the paintings will end up in the hands of criminals. Not necessarily eccentric toffs but drug dealers, gun runners, people traffickers, and money launderers.
Never simple is it?
Meanwhile if anyone is interested in acquiring a reproduction by some continental underachiever contact me at BPArt through the usual channels. It’s a bit dusty and has been clogging up the attic at The Towers for about 20 years now. Not very well composed, one of the 3 figures is sitting with his back to the audience. The Dutch dauber has tried to liven it with a few birds and paintings within the painting but it doesn’t do much for me. We used to have it in the downstairs loo but Lady BP said it exacerbated her constipation. I know what she means. No reasonable offer refused.

Is Rubberman Losing it?

I know it is unworthy. I know it is kicking a man when he is down. My benefit of a good catholic education is thereby cast away but I could not prevent myself thinking the unthinkable. The FT headlined a story:-

Cameron argues more women in the boardroom would lead to curb on pay.
(FT Weekend Front Page 29/10/11)

Now was he suggesting that women on top would be more responsible or was he suggesting that the ladies could be had for less?

Oh dear, mixed messages! It is only a matter of time before the WI comes after you Dave. Look what happened to Tony Blair. Do you really want to stand in front of a polite audience of women, mums and grans, generating gigawatts of righteous indignation. I think we might see more damp patches than those under the arms.

Pie not in the sky?

A late advertisement from the folks at Thriving Too, pie to live for.
As the man said - times may be tough but pie is always good.
I'm a steak and kidney pud man but I do like the idea, especially the slow politics.

According to the post on PieLab for 26 October a Mr J Swift has stated, allegedly, that

Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.

Perhaps our great leaders, our great helmspersons, the suns in our hearts, should take note.
I think a certain Gauleiter by the name of Eric von Pickles may have broken a few pie-crusts in his time!

I am also reminded of Raspberry Pi.

We should declare next year the international year of the pie. After all, there's not much else likely to be going on. I shall get our lobbying arm, PizzaPie in the Sky (incorporated in the Cayenne Island, Double Blind Trust no. 666) to approach Mr Moon forthwith!

Autumn

A child's excitement
Crayfish in the bucket
Another on the line

Mother frets at only two
With an eye to the pot
A friendly parting

Wood remains to be cleared
A dinosaur smiles
Across the river

The cock miscrows the hour
An October sun
Is at its highest in the sky

Warmth flows into
My drug thinned blood
I am the noonday devil

I am the Lord of the Flies
Butterflies and dragonflies attend
I turn to the village in peace

What news of
Banker's bailouts and
Dictators in the desert?

Ooops

Now that's what I call erosion.

Economics and Religion

I was traveling in a bus on a dusty road in Cuba with a bunch of lefties on the one hand and a pack of Christians on the other. (Don't ask!) We were giving voice as they say to while away the time. Trouble. There was a definite grudge fest in the selection of canciones. Banda roja (or possibly rioja in my case) and arias with liberdad and solidaridad were alternating with songs of praise. I could see this culminating in a Bellini like tradgedy. I decided to provide the Monagues and Capulets with a rendition of that Glasgow classic:- Jesus puts his money in the Glasgow Savings Bank - Jesus Saves! It was an exito; a light tenor and being large and unsightly did the trick.
I think the next one up was Nessum Dorma. If you don't know it I'm sure Mr U Tube will provide some examples for you. I believe a chap called Pavarotti had a bit of success with it a while ago. Never did find out what happened to him.

Which is a long way round to the nice little Banx cartoon which I saw in the FT yesterday.
Man, in duffle coat and beard with placard which bears the words:-

JESUS SAVES SPENDS

Happy Birthday

A recent celebration reminds me of the fact that I was born too poor to have a middle name, while some people had THREE names.
Your man has caused me to laugh uproariously on public transport, getting some quare looks I can tell you. He has infested my head with voices of the brother's brother and the plain people of Ireland, amongst some I could mention. I've come out in boils as big as Fin McCools elbow at the mere hint of another entry in the catechism of cliche by some gobshite politician in these hard times. (Careful now you're getting overexcited ...Ed)

Definitely a part of my life and I'm glad of it.

Sad he was such a bugger for the bottle and a pint of plain. Still, we all have our little weaknesses!

Hare

I was persuaded to read The Hare with Amber Eyes by Edmund de Waal even after listening to extracts on the wireless! (We retired types live such busy lives.) The website link gives pictures of the netsuke. The book was a delight, the pictures are a delight, I am, as you can imagine, delighted.

There will be those who criticise - is it a history, is it biography, is it a fiction, is it a dog with 3 legs? De Waal was concerned about writing ... 'too thin a story'. (p15 in the Vintage paperback) I was certainly happy with the heft of it. His subsequent comments about making things provided an excuse to read The Wrench by Primo Levi, I'm glad I did.

If you don't find something you like

I apologise for showing a snap of this painting without being able to give an attribution.
I will, of course, correct that if someone could....



The snap is mine and I couldn't resist the message...


Responses may be printed (only if I say so ...Ed.)

Too Good to Miss

Simon Hoggart in the Grauniad managed to slip in Theresa May's pussy, and there was a snap of the leopardskin shoes. So far so no 'Cat Woman'. Let me be the first!

Equality

An interesting presentation by Richard Wilkinson on material drawn the book The Spirit Level which he co-authored with Kate Pickett. Lots of good stuff about the link between a relative measure of inequality (the ratio of top to bottom incomes) and various measures of health, happiness, well being and social cohesion in developed economies. And since you asked the more unequal by this measure a society is the greater the problems and measures of the problems. Oh, possibly suicide may be a problem that runs counter to this. Good empirical stuff. See the Equality Trust and its publications. As you can imagine, lots of people want to pick a fight over it. Well they would. wouldn't they.

Heard a bit about tick boxes recently in connection with tax matters. Wilkinson had a nice idea to put forward. A tick box, optional, on tax returns to indicate people and companies would allow information to become a matter of public record. Nice one. We could start, of course, with the disclosure as a matter of public record, the ratio of tax paid to income. Voluntary, to begin with and qualifications in full, 'my dog ate the major part of my income last year'!

Riotous Behaviour in Church

An article in the LRB, -Runagately Rogue by Tobias Gregory (Vol. 33 No. 16 · 25 August 2011 page 30) - a review of
The Plain Man’s Pathways to Heaven: Kinds of Christianity in Post-Reformation England, 1570-1640 by Christopher Haigh,
caught my eye. Much to inform and amuse even an old atheist like myself. Also, a way into the life, times and words of the 'plain people of England '
I particularly enjoyed the litany of misdemeanors below,

drunkenness, brawling, gossiping, vomiting, scoffing at the minister, pissing in another man’s hat (Leigh, Essex, 1627),

Can't quite see it in the local congregation, not enough men for one thing. Though as I do not attend I could be doing them a great disservice, until the next funeral!

The implication in the quote, of course, is that there would be no offence in relief in ones own headgear; long sermons in those days!

Some of my best friends are trees

Apologies if I have mentioned this before.


Not all trees are green and fluffy, some are rough and dry but provide much - shade and olives!

However, the more traditional tree huggers may prefer this selection from the Grauniad.

What we did on our holidays

Reading

Swimming

Eating

Sleeping

Lakka

Dawn boy brings his blessing to the bay.
The cock, finally, signals the right hour.
Smokers join in the dawn chorus.

Sailors stir, some to fish, some to ferry.
Those with time mess with their boats,
Fixing and setting, swimming and swabbing.

A boat returns with provisions and a lookout dog.
From the crow’s nest of our balcony
We watch a flight of crows below.

The beach in full sun; houses piled on a shady hillside.
The olive trees, a grey green fringe on a shimmering pate.
We start the day with beauty around us.

Back with a Bang

Being at a loose end (rather than the end of my tether) on Saturday I went to the local flea pit to see The Guard.

The usual tale of sex, drugs and Irish traditional music. Nothing there that you could not take your mammy to see as long as she does not understand the Gaelic and why those two wee lassies dressed as Garda are wearing such short skirts. Terrible political incorrectness was noted!

I haven't laughed so much since the old queen died.

Stormy Weather

Normal Service will be Resumed After a Period of R and R.

(Absolutely outrageous; life is one long holiday for some people... Ed)

Memory

Regular readers will be aware that memory is becoming a feature of this blog.
For the life of me I can't remember why?
Easy enough to make a joke. Perhaps that is fear of dementia striking. We think we see the signs every day:-
Where did I put my keys...?
I never forget a face but what was your name again...?
That sounds awfully familiar...?
Can you catch dementia from a book?

Turn of Mind by Alice LaPlant attempts to get inside the mind of a person with dementia. It is a novel/dark thriller with a sting in the tale, but with so much more. On page 203 a detective is talking to Jennifer, the protagonist and prime suspect, who is dementing but perhaps not so gently:-

People think it's just forgetting your keys, she says. Or the words for things. But there are the personality changes. The mood swings. The hostility and even violence. Even from the gentlest person in the world. You lose the person you love. and you are left with the shell.

She stops and pauses. Do you know what I'm talking about?

I nod. My mother.

The woman nods back. And you are expected to go on loving them even when they are no longer there. You are supposed to be loyal. It's not that other people expect it. It's that you expect it of yourself. And you long for it to be over soon.

Nicci French and S J Watson appear to rate it!

Taxonomics

The Buddhist Pizza College of Higher Taxonology (AKA The College of Knowledge or CoK) is pleased to announce an additional course in its extensive curriculum.

Taxonomics may be of interest to all those of means who have been disappointed in the current round of applications to less regarded institutions of learning. The objective of the course in is to ensure that the graduands go out into a harsh world with a firm grasp on their money and that of others, of course.

A quick example of the value we can bring. There have been attempts to collect more and more tax from fortunate individuals who have taken advantage of the superb tax environment offered by the Swiss authorities. The course will demonstrate how it is possible to adjust wealth lodged in this jurisdiction well before the 2013 deadline as easily as adjusting ones dress! The areas of offshore, transfer pricing, opacity, obscurity in corporate structure and beneficial non attributable ownership are pursued with legal and accounting rigour and extensive practical working examples. It has not been confirmed yet but we hope to have an inaugural lecture by a well known speaker on the personal benefits of the anonymous double trust. At this stage I can say no more! There will be extensive seminars, lectures and tutorials with highly regarded and
successful individuals who are conversant with individual tax havens, globalisation and the opportunities offered by development aid. We will not be offering input from the islands surrounding this one that have provided excellent service in the past. We feel their time is over and real wealth is moving elsewhere. While the Corporation of the City of London has been singled out for some criticism we feel it has created the right democratic structure, enterprise environment and business opportunity for the creation of serious money. We will take advantage of that and the opportunities offered by certain states in the USA. A field trip to the Cayenne Islands, where our sister enterprise Buddhist Pizza Inc. is incorporated and has its magnificent headquarters alongside Fast Willy’s Chicken Diner. In the interest of global development we will take at least one meal there, gratuities not included.

The theoretical underpinning of the course is that public expenditure is a giant Ponzi scheme and anything one can do to avoid contributing will bring benefits to the individual, society and the moral purpose of same. The emphasis is, of course, on avoidance. This is, as we all know, perfectly legal or as perfectly legal as armies of m'learned friends are able to demonstrate. It is tiresome to have to keep repeating this point but there are those who continually harp on about examples of legal actions that may well provoke moral repugnance and outrage! There are also those who claim to have identified a, so called, Tax Gap and suggested that this could be used to cure some of the current ills of the near perfect system of Capitalism we are evolving. The assertion that the existence of this Gap is akin to running a shop or business where rich customers choose what they will pay, if anything, for goods and services while less fortunate pay the full whack is bizarre. If only, but clearly not the case.

We are certain that at the completion of the course graduates will have increased their personal wealth by a factor of 1,000 in ways which will maximise its earning power in tax obscurity and secure it in perpetuity, safe from the ravening maw of the revenue man. I'm sure you will agree that is a challenging and intellectually rewarding task. Well worth the £100,000 fee we would expect to trouser as a private organisation. We are a charity registered in the Cayenne Isles and as a result, bursaries are only available to residents of that jurisdiction who satisfy the Loan Panel that they are truly indigent. (Please note the bursaries are only available in the form of loans and the panel next meets in 2015.)

(Many thanks to Richard Murphy, Nick Shaxson, and all the usual suspects who toil endlessly to expose the greedy, gouging, tax dodging ... Steady on; a man needs a few bob in his trousers for a rainy day. And haven't you come to some arrangement with the People's Bank about a cash ISA thingy...Ed)

Raspberry Pi

I think it is in the interest of solidarity among interweb comestibles that I mention Raspberry Pi. If you would like to see what they are up to, the home page gives you an embedded video or link direct here. If you are more a wordy sort of soul then Uncle Wiki might do the trick.

For Sun readers who stumble across this page looking for thrills:- this is about putting a sort of computer and the links to other stuff and all manner of things on a stick, and plugging it into the telly; all for £20 and change. Of course you don't understand it or see why. Your kids will, so buy them one, each. It will keep them off the streets. And no there are no parts of the female anatomy on show in this blog. Thank you very much and good day. Get yourselves back to whatever the Dirty Digger is offering at the moment!

Many thanks to Mr N for the link, as always.

Remember the old interweb proverb:-

The technology that farinates together causes the dough to rise!

Hackem and Backem 2011.

Mists, Mellow Fruits and Mushrooms!

Looking for Eric

Has anyone seen Gauleiter Pickles?
Latest on News and Events section of his website - April 26 - yes that is 2011.
Ah! spotted on the Torygraph commenting on the little, local, difficulty we seem to be having.

There have been some good things that have come out of this.

Phew that's alright then.

He waddled as far as Edmonton Fire Station to praise the work of the Brigade, its professionalism and courage. (Well I can hardly say goosestepped)
If you check out the results of the photo op you will see Mr Pickles being given directions to the 'all you can eat, buffet lunch', which is available just round the corner.
(That is grossly unfair. The man is just big boned and has a genetic predisposition, probably. You can hardly complain from your somewhat rotund and gravitationally challenged frame. Let's have no more attacks of a personal nature or I'll be telling the good folks who read this blog about the consumption of kebabs and the Sunday night visits to the curry establishments on Brick Lane ...Ed)

Looting

Looting, what looting?

Nick Shaxson offers evidence that it was the big boys wot done it, and ran away!

A £14 billion bunce. Now that's what I call 'recreational looting'.

How many watches would that buy down Mere St?

Still Voices

It is difficult in the present turmoil to get a handle on sanity and keep a firm hold for fear of finding something worse. No doubt we will be subjected to the whys and wherefores enunciated by politicians for some time to come or at least until the next dreadful thing.

Did you see Harriet winding Micky the Gov(e) up on Newsnight? There is a partial transcript here with commentary by Nicholas Watt on his Grauniad blog. I often refer to the quality of being able to wind up a quartz watch. She demonstrated it in spades. My, theatrical, take on this exchange was that she pushed his buttons to the point where he verbally lashed out, effectively loosing it. She then sat back and took it on the chin to show what a bore and a bully he is. The picture of someone so far up himself, enunciating very precisely, clearly and in clipped tones the reason why he is glowing with indignation like a Japanese reactor did not inspire confidence. This is a man with his finger on the pulse. Sadly, in a family blog like this, before the watershed, I am not able to disclose where that pulse is.

The excellent Mr Naughton has a very clear perspective on the context of the 'recreational looting' in his blog, here.
He makes a plea for

...a serious attempt to understand what underpins the current crisis.

Otherwise

If we don’t learn from it then we’re screwed.

We are screwed.
Comfort? There is none unless we act. It's going to be slow but let's start now!

Vulture Capitalism ll

I have mentioned Vulture Capitalism before in a slightly different context, namely, ripping the heart out of countries and economies that can barely support life.

I also cogitated, a mite ironical at the time perhaps, that Subprime Warriors, Vulture Capitalists all, had become vegetarian or vegan even!

A further taxonomic development has been advanced by the excellent Mr Murphy in his blog on the Tax Research site concerning the role of tax havens in global recession. Feral capitalism is preached by feral capitalists as they roam across the world with very little restraint.

In the whiff of smoke as London burns there is another deeply offensive smell. I last half choked on it in Spain as we discovered the corpse of a wild horse being stripped of flesh and lights by a large vulture.

Outrage!

Thanks to Tessy at Thriving Too for the Big Society: Time for Outrage? blog.

Again, if you have time between applying the factor forty and sipping that G&T follow the link to
this translation of a pamphlet by Stephane Hessel, Who he? To my shame I'd never heard of him. He is a mere 94, lived through World War II in the French Resistance and, in 1948, he was involved in the production of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. So he has been round the block a few times and recognises the need to catch the last bus.

What are you going to do?

All Bets Off

I know! I know! I shouldn't do this but the temptation to describe it as Gideonomics is just too great. Do take time out from your busy lives to read this brief summary of the madness of Gideon and his ilk. I think Mr Murphy has a point.

It would be hilarious to watch a bunch of millionaire toffs make a complete mess of the economy as they explain how it was a big boy what done it and ran away. The reality is that millions will suffer in this country and elsewhere as a result. The sooner they are sent back to the security and comfort of their trust funds the better.

By the way have you noticed how often the chattering classes are using the phrase:

Kicking the can down the road.

We used to do that as kids as we strolled along discussing Camus or the influence of Joyce on the novel. Happy days!

The Confidence Fairy

Before we all get carried away by Mr O'Bama's miracle cure for the American Economy can I point out Mr Krugman's negative view, from the NYT. I particularly like the idea of the confidence fairy,

The worst thing you can do in these circumstances is slash government spending, since that will depress the economy even further. Pay no attention to those who invoke the confidence fairy, claiming that tough action on the budget will reassure businesses and consumers, leading them to spend more. It doesn’t work that way, a fact confirmed by many studies of the historical record.

I can see her now, a vision in a froth of white chiffon, a golden wand with a silver star on the top and the twinkling sound it makes as she shakes it over Gideon's porcine features.

Back to our profligate friends across the water. I can't believe Toby and Josh are not beavering with others in the background so that CJ can deliver a knockout blow to the evil empire. Oops carried away there.

Tax rates may not be about to increase but that does not mean the tax take can not increase! If the revenue men get out there offshore and bring home the gouging b*****ds bacon we could all rest a little easier in our beds!

The introduction of colour

You may have noticed that Ed. asked me to be a bit more upbeat, positive even. As a medicinal practitioner of some years standing I have been appointed to a personal chair in the Hospital for Spectral Diseases. I have decided to introduce a little colour into this blog.
We now have Blue Labour and Red Tories, but why stop the pathology there. Keep a close eye on those pink fascists and the rainbow of Islam, from Sufi to Wahhabi. While you're at it you might take note of the green hand of Ulster nestling in the orange shamrock. As a case study I will be investigating a certain Signor Berlusconi who has turned a delicate shade of indigo, no sniggering at the back there! Do you not know that indigo is the imaginary colour invented by a Mr I Newton many years ago to show how all things cluster in sevens?
We have been been overwhelmed by the pensionistas in a tide of mateus rose.
Recently I observed a world famous athlete giving the salute of the Pink Panthers!
In this colour blind universe the Greens would, of course, be coal black. Over the Holy City a device would flutter that was half as gold as green!
The Central Committee of the Communist Party of the Peoples Republic of China has decided that it will no longer hoist the red flag but march under a banner of grey!

Pay up and shame the devil?!

As my mother used to say when it was no longer possible to maintain the balance of payments in our favour.

I believe the largest debtor in the world is facing a few tricky moments in the trousering department. Could be serious but you can see quite clearly how the old Republican and Tea Party have taken up residence in Dagenham, one stop beyond Barking (not that old chestnut again... Ed.) Powerful article by Mr Krugman of the NYT about the need for imbalance and a nice little interactive graphic from those NYT readers who wished to comment on the crisis(Crisis, what crisis? as someone once famously didn't say!) Draw your own conclusions about that and NYT readers from the shades and distribution. Enjoy; as they say but maybe not for much longer.
(You're getting too transatlantic in the old textual department, cloyingly so, if I may mention it...Ed. Also could we not be a bit more upbeat, positive, cheerful even!)

The new tricks of the old dog

I have mentioned before the numbers of mobile phones in the world, allegedly.
I revisited the lost socks department of my brain after reading this article in Th'Observer.

The involvement of the Grameen Foundation seems very positive and the implications for development absolutely sock loosening. The system Grameen are building relies on community knowledge workers (CKW) who are paid. Hmm... Perhaps we should have few of those.

Interesting contrast then - The old dog and bone. For hacking or accelerated development to the point where we don't have to watch small children starving to death before our eyes.
You choose!

Orphans of the storm

Moving on from the comment that it is all Greek to me.
The excellent Nick Shaxton provides a report of a view from within Greece in his Treasure Islands blog and a link to the Pitsirikos Blog.

Read mark and inwardly digest as they say but in doing this notice a comment:-

Read the newspapers of your country, search on the web and you will see that Greece’s bankruptcy is an orphan.

There are so many poor orphans whereas good fortune has many parents!

Appropriate Conversations

In the excitement yesterday of a statement of regret, protests of innocence and claims of giving a young offender a second chance to prove himself the question of the prime minister's meeting with the representatives of certain News Organs was raised in parliament. Along with the flannel, obfuscation and general verbiage I noticed the phrase appropriate conversations in the subsequent exchanges.

In the dark recesses of my poor brain there is the memory of the phrase criminal conversations. I believe it was used as shorthand for the sort of activity that married couples might engage in, particularly when they were not married to each other if you will pardon the indelicacy.

As a matter of public benefit I think the nation should rise up as one person and provide Mr Cameron with a clear idea of what an appropriate conversation is.

Good morning Mr M!

G'day Rubber Man.

Have you had your breakfast?

(After a long pause) Can't say I have.

Well, let's not keep you from it. I believe they do wonderful drop scones in Alice Springs this time of year!

New Finnish Grammar

I have been reading recently about memory and identity.
New Finnish Grammar by Diego Marani, translated by Judith Landry, takes as its protagonist a rescued sailor who has suffered a blow to the head. He has no memory, no language, and no identity when he is picked up from the quayside near the railway station at Trieste. A series of coincidences leads a doctor involved with his recovery to assume that the man is a Finn. The protagonist accepts this and begins to learn Finnish. He pursues his identity in Finland. This is at the end of the second world war.

Well worth reading. A sample from page 77, about half way through the book:-

Each day meant starting again from scratch. The moment my attention lapsed, the moment I allowed my mind to wander, all the good work would be undone. The words stayed with me, my knowledge of the language became stronger and more rooted, but any sense of truly belonging to that place would have vanished. I had a distinct suspicion that I was running headlong down the wrong road. In the innermost recesses of my unconscious I was plagued by the feeling that, within my brain, another brain was beating, buried alive.

Some of us don't have the excuse of blunt force trauma.

Questions, questions, questions

What did they know; when did they know it and what did they do when they knew it?
In the meantime one to follow -

2.30 at Westminster: The Berkshire Hunt

Runners
1. The Dirty Digger.
An old nag with plenty of form.
2. Jimmy the Peanut.
Sired by the Dirty Digger but claimed by some in the stables to be flawed.
3. Rebbe the Red.
A chestnut filly with staying power and a mean streak. Bad for riders and other nags.

Going to Church on Sundays

A grey day, a bad back in our stout party and a busy week saw us engage with more reflective and meditative activities on Sunday.

A local actor while not breaking a leg, put her foot in it! The Torygraph records the details of her accidental discovery, a further set of vaults at St. Mary's Church, Redgrave. These had been investigated and through the use of small cameras we were able to see them on Sunday.

Since we were in the area we paid a visit to the other St Mary at Wortham. Not so worthy and in a much worse condition but, as in all things, with compensations. Look at this little fellow. I'm sure he has kept heathen and unbelieving children quiet for over a hundred years.

He doesn't make a personal appearance in Psalm 104 but in the general menagerie of wild animals given drink from the gushing springs I guess he has a walk on!

Wyken

Machaca

Fine tunes after a relaxed picnic at Blackthorpe Barn.
Machaca performed in what is to be the last series of a 19 year run of music at the barn. Sad but a great concert for us to end the tradition.

Young musicians playing new music.
As an audience we were just a bit too old to get up and jig about, sadly!

You can't leave them alone for a minute!

A series of posts, I believe they are called tweets (how sweet), from a council meeting in Suffolk.
James Hargrave as reported in Suffolk Wordblog. A more considered view here.

Honestly, I go away for a few days and return to chaos, anarchy and goings on that would not be out of place in a brewery! I must say Cllr Patricia O'Brien looks like a fine filly for a Chairman(!) of Suffolk CC. I admit to feelings I haven't experienced since I lost my heart to the principal boy in the pantomime at Salford Hippodrome many, many years ago!

Suffolk is so bracing!

We have been off to the coast, Aldeburgh, for some R&R.
The Cinema Gallery had an interesting exhibition THE 1928 HOUSE by Tassie Russell and Susan Brinkhurst. The subject is:-

... a house from the 1920s which remains in 2011 exactly as it was when it was first built. William and Rachel Newson moved into 107 Saxmundham Road in 1929 when their baby daughter Joan was just a few days old and Joan continued to live there happily in her totally familiar surroundings until her death in 2009.

Fascinating! Tassie Russell said she had taken some of the photos with a pin-hole camera and long exposure; they are marvelous.

Old books, new tricks

I've just emailed a link to a colleague who lives in the back of beyond, like ourselves, and would like to read the Grauniad every day. There is a certain electronic book reader, others are available, which will allow him to do this.

Correction, we live beyond the back of the beyond. Young persons have been warned by parents, clerics, newspaper vendors and the authorities not to approach the village. Poor souls are lost forever as, dazzled by our sharpened pitchforks, they are lured into the great abyss but I digress.

I was looking at the Grauniad electronically this morning when I read this article on the charm of battered books. David Barnett claims:-

I'm not sure how long I've had that Shirley Jackson book. Ten years at least; probably 15. Maybe more. I've read it perhaps half a dozen times. And each time I take it from the shelf, another sheaf of pages has come loose. The glue in the binding has deteriorated some more. The spine is scuffed and ripped, the cover is fading by degrees. But I could no more consider getting rid of it than I could put a bullet in the head of a geriatric dog.

Books, volume and existence of, is a matter of conflict in Buddhist Pizza Towers.
Herself has an extensive library, in a range of conditions in a number of locations. I have always made gentle protestations as to the order, convenience, location and condition of her library.
I am now resigned to this and will undergo an extensive period of re-education.

Two books good, two hundred books better!

Nasty Niffs

Would the last Murdoch to leave the country please use the air freshener!

The theory of everyday resistance.

Hardly going to have the Murdoch/Brooks shaking in their boots but enjoyable non the less, cryptically speaking.

Evening Primrose

Evening Primrose 21:42 Mid Suffolk 8 July, 2011, no flash!

Trudging

In these times of high drama( the Parish Council have emailed us about the state of our hedge; accusations of hacking can not be far behind) it is nice to have a good steady plod to read about.
Luminous Coast by Jules Pretty has provided that.

I enjoyed it, not wildly but enthusiastically enough to encourage me to switch some of my coastal allegiance from the west to the east. It has also made me consider exploration over the summer which may be no bad thing!

There is a nice running (Ed... shouldn't that be walking?) gag about the lack of snow, skis and the like being mentioned by onlookers as the author, using walking poles, makes his way.

Another one from our recently saved Library Services.

Oh Yes!

The end of the beginning or the beginning of the end?

Never has so much been done by so few with so little.
It's official! Read all abart it!

Suffolk Libraries amongst the worst financed

I may have mentioned before that back in the day I worked with a colleague who claimed not to understand things. He understood why Baroness Dagenham wanted to kill off local government. What he could not understand was why she wanted to torture it to death?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I've always had a yen to rob banks!
(note to prosecuting authorities; I have always wanted a decent set of teeth, all my own hair, a good singing voice, a deft hand at the the old scribbling business, a warm and attractive personality. You're getting carried away again...Ed)

Maybe now is the time to go rob a few Swiss banks.

Just an idle thought.

Moth Eaten

We were returning home to Buddhist Pizza Towers from the Amnesty 50th birthday bash; wild since you ask a good time was had by all, worthy petitions to sign everywhere, bless'em! On a high of orange juice and flute music I blurted out to Lady BP:-

Moths are very important!

Poor woman she has much to put up with. I explained the connections, and links in my moth eaten brain and why I had made such a statement. I won't bore you, having imposed such tortuous amblings on herself last night. She is long-suffering but nothing if not polite!

Imagine my joy at seeing this article by Martin Wainwright on the Observer website this morning. Not quite what I had in mind but the attached photo gallery shows beauty takes many forms and is important.

Time Flies like an Arrow; Fruit Flies like a Banana

In a blog The Future Is Not What It Used To Be Paul Krugman points out that the Fed is an organisation with a great future behind it. By their predictions ye shall know them.

The title of this blog is Marxist(Groucho not Karl) and the situation Pythonesque.
This economy is dead, it is deceased, it is no more. No it isn't, it's just restin' or words to that effect.
No parrots were harmed in the writing of this blog.
Unhappily it has not been possible to avoid the misery to come for many and the continued misery for many more!

What a good job we are all in this together.

How Social is Your Enterprise

The Grauniad links to a list of 'Social Enterprise Truths'
at the popup social enterprise blog.
Much used, polished and enjoyed no doubt; better than trying to define what social enterprise is, see...

17. There is nothing more tedious than a social enterprise definition debate (apart from two of them…)

and,

8. If a pound was donated each time a social entrepreneur quoted Gandhi, no-one would need to fundraise

for me that would be the mention of Muhammad Yunus and Grameen.

That's one pound please! The reverse of a swear box; great idea!

A force for good, or good business.

We may assume that the world is enhanced by the interweb, its works and pomps. Indeed, you would have to be a complete Luddite not to admit considerable benefit to Messers All and Sundry from the beast itself.

An article by Eli Pariser, the author of The Filter Bubble, in The Observer, Sunday 12 June 2011 questions the universal benefits of the web.

In an extract from The Filter Bubble he writes

An invisible revolution has taken place is the way we use the net, but the increasing personalisation of information by search engines such as Google threatens to limit our access to information and enclose us in a self-reinforcing world view.

A great danger to be aware of. The article argues further:-

In Bowling Alone, his book on the decline of civic life in America, Robert Putnam looked at the problem of the major decrease in "social capital" – the bonds of trust and allegiance that encourage people to do each other favours, work together to solve common problems, and collaborate. Putnam identified two kinds of social capital: there's the in-group-oriented "bonding" capital created when you attend a meeting of your college alumni, and then there's "bridging" capital, which is created at an event like a town meeting when people from lots of different backgrounds come together to meet each other. Bridging capital is potent: build more of it, and you're more likely to be able to find that next job or an investor for your small business, because it allows you to tap into lots of different networks for help.

Everybody expected the internet to be a huge source of bridging capital. Writing at the height of the dotcom bubble, Tom Friedman declared that the internet would "make us all next-door neighbours". In fact, this idea was the core of his thesis in The Lexus and the Olive Tree: "The internet is going to be like a huge vice that takes the globalisation system … and keeps tightening and tightening that system around everyone, in ways that will only make the world smaller and smaller and faster and faster with each passing day."

Friedman seemed to have in mind a kind of global village in which kids in Africa and executives in New York would build a community together. But that's not what's happening: our virtual neighbours look more and more like our real-world neighbours and our real-world neighbours look more and more like us. We're getting a lot of bonding but very little bridging. And this is important because it's bridging that creates our sense of the "public" – the space where we address the problems that transcend our narrow self-interests.

The Big Society is currently being wheeled out as a producer and reservoir of social capital. Of course, cynically, it is a method to avoid investing real capital and providing revenue to run necessary services. Many vital services cannot be provided efficiently or effectively by volunteerism alone. Believe me I'm a volunteer. However, the model being put forward by the government is almost exclusively "bonding" social capital. My group, society or coop does not include you for whatever reason and so you will only benefit if we let you. As Pariser notes, we need more "bridging" social capital, we need to build the public and the civic domains as well as tending our own, Big Society, cabbage patch.

Hey, be careful when you Google out there!

Why do we hate all bankers?

Interview with Muhammad Yunus who has been required to step down from his position as managing director at Grameen bank. The interesting question is why?
Of all the bankers, in all the countries, in all the world, why pick on this guy?

Suggestions of other bankers with appropriate punishments should be sent on a post card to
Sheikh Hasina c/o the Bangladeshi government.

Two Wheels Good?

Its not quite as simple as that, as always.
As an ex cyclist of many years standing (that's many years riding, not standing and I haven't used a bicycle in anger for ... That's enough already... Ed.) I thought the guy in this video had guts and knew how to use new media! Enjoy the tumbles but also read the Grauniad article.

Poor Kids

BBC 1 broadcast a programme last night with the title Poor Kids.
You may have missed it, you may have chosen to miss it.
It is here for the next 7 days.

Jezza Neumann, the director, has blogged about it here.

The programme presents the reality for many of the 3.5 million children living in poverty in the UK in their own words. I know it pales set against the poverty and horror of the lives of children around the world.

We live in this country, we have the vote, we consume, we are part of civic society. We can do something! If we do not, the ghosts of these children and their stories will come back to haunt us in our unquiet graves and be a shadow on our children and their lives.

At one point Sam is asked about food, going without, and hunger when there is no dinner (lunch in Islington). He replies with bright eyed, proud, honesty that he has learned to save up his hunger!

There's prudence.

Memories are made of this

We take memory for granted, never missing the water until the well runs dry. It carries us on a continuous, conscious journey providing holiday snaps. There may be gaps, the vision may be darker, fainter, further away, faulty. It may be fast failing but, unless we are unfortunate, it never seems to fail catastrophically and permanently. What if it did?
We refuse to believe it could. There would always be a part of us that knew we preferred red to white wine, did not take sugar in our tea and hated country music! Would we?

The novel, Before I Go To Sleep, by S J Watson explores this.

It takes an extreme form of amnesia, the inability to retain memories from day to day, and makes it the central plank of a thriller, a real cracker. It explores our ideas of permanence of memory and identity and how they could be undermined fatally. If they were, what would that mean for our independence and sanity? The situation of the amnesiac in the novel creates the psychological equivalent of the murder in a locked room. How can I trust other people, their versions of reality and even myself if I cannot bring my own tenuous recollections of yesterday and before to bear on them?

Now where did I put my glasses?

The Bees Knees

I am sat at my computer listening to Late Junction for 2/6/11 on the iPlayer. Nils Henrik Asheim / Gjertrud's Gypsy Orchestra are playing — Chopin: Mazurka Op. 68 No. 2 in A minor. (Mazurka: Remaking Chopin, LAWO LWC1016.) The sun is shining through the blind and the 'bees', which have squatted under our eaves, are dancing in the sun casting their small shadows on the blind.

The Information

SCL librarians have, yet again, delivered a book for me to my local library, only 2 miles away. (Note to SCC -If you close it my carbon footprint will increase as I will have to go the extra six miles to the next one. There is no suitable public transport. You will argue, of course, that I could be served by a mobile library bus with a big satellite dish on the top for direct links to Langley. Up to a point councillor Copper. It will visit our humble homesteads once every Preston Guild and, given our ages, physical and mental states, is likely to be pursued throughout the county by packs of infirm, forgetful old folk. A bit like the old rag and bone carts being pursued by dogs.) I digress.

The Information by James Gleick is a book I would recommend. I think he does a good job as it says on the tin/book moving from the history, the theory and pointing out the flood of information. Though, given the political dimension and scale of the subject it has been subject to criticism; sins of omission, possibly.

The jacket describes him as the author of Chaos! (Wouldn’t some of us love to be the author of chaos.) I enjoyed that one too!

Perhaps you could order it from your local library?

The Other Island

Along with all the hype about Brenda going over the water but refusing the Guinness is a thoughtful piece(aren't they all) by Fintan O'Toole dated 23 May 2011 in openDemocracy.

Ireland and Britain: ends and beginnings

The other Island may have its, economic, troubles. I'm glad to see that they have not lost the wet and dry humour that nearly had Parnell's eye out.

The lack of reverence was obvious in the humour that was threaded through the week. There was the suggestion from an Irish Times letter-writer that making the queen sit through Westlife meant that we could call it quits for 800 years of oppression. Within an hour of the royal visit to Croker, people were showing each other texts and emails sent by an anonymous Louth GAA spokesman complaining that “at the site of the single greatest injustice in our history, to invite those responsible back to the scene of the crime is galling”. The target was the Meath forward Joe Sheridan, who was there to meet the queen and who scored an infamous “goal” to deprive Louth of last year’s Leinster title.

Bogie Man

I settled into the office chair which filed its usual complaint and I opened the bottom draw of my desk, my fist aid draw rather than a place for my trousseau. It contained a quart of bourbon and a few glasses that look as if they had been introduced to water but shortly after made their excuses and never returned. I poured a stiff one and tried it for size. It seemed remarkably fluid and a little small so I tried again. I pulled the phone towards me in case anyone rang. Nobody ever rings! I had the odd hour to kill. One, three, five, you get the picture. Things have been a little slack recently.

The latest LRB lay on my desk like the letter from a maiden aunt, without the cheque. I started to thumb through the pages. Not too many pictures and no sports section.
There was a piece by this broad called Diski. Seems someone was singing about a guy, Bogie, a real charmer. All the usual stuff; Hollywood, Cagney, Raft, and the broads, none of them from Norfolk, it was laid end to end by this canary Kanfer. Bogie made his dough, drank his scotch, and had his women. The last one, Bacall, was a real piece of work, classy. I ploughed on with the story and the bourbon. Seems like she wasn't the last one, she was beaten to the drawers by Verita, the hairdresser. He must have liked her style a lot, Verita! By this time the bottle was nearly done and so was I. The last sentence...

"Then again it might shake your world more to learn that Bogie…"

It stopped. I looked for what I might learn about this Bogie guy on the next page and the next. Nada! Back and forth through the paper, like a hop-head looking to score, but still I found nada. By the time I got to the funny ads by funny people, and I mean funny, it was over. I had been suckered by this Diski broad.

I hung around a club where I guessed she might take the waters. Sure enough, there she was, pretty as a picture but non too steady heading towards me on the sidewalk. I always come to the assistance of a damsel in distress and high heels. I took her arm and steered her into the alleyway.
"OK Sister, shake my world. Tell me the last thing I need to know about Bogie?"

She smiled and tried to kiss me. I asked her again but she was partying with the fairies somewhere and I wasn't going to get a look in. I'm no angel but I am not the guy to slap a broad around. I put her in a cab, gave the driver a twenty and told him to pour her home, gently.

So my desk is as empty as before, my calendar has spare dates, if you are interested, and the telephone is a silent as brick in a bucket of water. I reached down to reacquaint myself with the liquid trousseau. The post comes through the office door. I thumb through the bills and there at the bottom of the pile is the latest LRB. Do I want to be suckered again? No, but I need to know. I may be a man with a thirst but sometimes that thirst is not just for bourbon. I turned the pages. There it was - the remaining part of the sentence - three little words...

...wore a wig!

Would you look at that? Bogie had a syrup, no wonder he was sweet on Verita.

What can you do?

When I read a story like this piece in the Grauniad I almost despair.
The horrors, even if only half of it is correct, are beyond comprehension.
The Laogai is as much a stain on our humanity, collectively and personally, as the Gulags, the Holocaust and the casual genocide we have visited upon humanity from time to time.
We can't say we don't know. That lame excuse is no longer available to any human being.
We can only choose to ignore.
Never again we said. We were wrong.

Life has given us so much we owe it to the human spirit we all share to object, condemn and organise.

Ding Dong Mr Bell

I am reliably informed by that paper of recrod and journle of note, The Grauniad, that a certain Mr Bell has passed the 'Age of the Bus Pass'. God bless you sir. A quote -

What I craved was a job where I could shut myself in a room and talk to myself, sometimes very loudly and in a variety of accents.

Don't we all! However, Steve has used that to eviscerate the egos of people who would have been better off being placed in the charge of a large and sympathetic character who was able to listen attentively, supply tea, lashings of tea, and a firm, restraining, hand when their charges tried to enter the real world!

Here's to another 60 and may no politician or gombeen man feel safe from your pen!

Priesting

The day I was due to be electrocuted (therapeutic not judicial, even Suffolk is not that right wing) I had a late reprieve! The powers that be judged I had regained my wonderful sense of rhythm and the future for me lay in drugs not electrification. I am nothing if not a pathfinder for my country.
My own view is that the NHS had run out of shillings for the lecky meter and needed a few bob prior to privatisation, however, we will let that go.

Given that we were not doing anything else, Lady BP and yours truly went off to the local wildlife trust. A lovely day and glad to be electrically neutral we wandered thither and yon looking for a kingfisher or two (Ed... you're getting carried away and besides this blog can not afford more than one kingfisher at a time!)

In one of the hides we spotted a heron, priesting, as we say along with Dylan; Thomas that is not Bob. A completely different kettle of herring. ( Ed... Jesus, let's do the artwork and get out of here back to the asylum before you are locked out. )

Snapped on the old Magi-Phone, not very good, but you can see, surely, the blatant levitical posturing of the bird in the centre

Spanish Revolutions

Just when you thought you had got to grips with the last one along comes another
#SpanishRevolution!

Very excitable, foreigners, but as rubber man Cameroon and Gideon are always banging on about it, we are all in this together. I think that is what El Pueblo Unido Jamas Sera Vencido means in English. Can't think where I have heard that before. One of the perils of long life Dave, a view!

If you are perplexed it may help to read an article about Understanding ‘Spanishrevolution’
by Pedro Silverio Moreno in openDemocracy.

Then again, it may not! I think I'll just sit down now while someone phones for the Cruz Rioja!

Fun

World Peace and Justice have long been, I think, modest objectives for my considerable talents.
As you may have noticed, I have experienced a few setbacks recently.
I could be going about this the wrong way.

In order to persuade people to invest trust and commit to the building of social capital perhaps we should adopt the change through fun agenda.

What do we want? Fun!
When do we want it? By 16:00 hrs and our position is not negotiable!

If it don't work, neither do I and at least we've had some.....
You got it.
Amen

Big Numbers

The Wall Street Journal has an article

The Really Smart Phone by Robert Lee Hotz

(Linked from the Grauniad)

Many interesting statements:-

Today, almost three-quarters of the world's people carry a wireless phone.

Splutter as muesli goes out of mouth in explosive spray - big numbers!

My good friend Mr Wikipedia would make that an estimated population, world for the use of, 7 billion and change - give or take. Three quarters of that number gives you about 5.25 billion and change - give or take. (Ed... Yes, yes we all know you had the benefits of a catholic and a scientific education.) The WSJ probably checks the odd fact or two. However, here at BP Towers, we have the latest supercomputer fact checking department and our staunch friend Mr Wikipedia. According to the man there are an estimated 4.6 billion mobile phone subscribers ( not handsets.) Not so far out but still big numbers and when they are potentially linked in a network the mind bogoggles!

The article has other points to make; minor questions of identifying location, 'privacy' and predicting behaviour. You can read for yourself.

The following did catch my mental funny bone

Perhaps less surprisingly, people are happiest when they are making love and most miserable when sick in bed. The most despondent place in the U.K. is an hour or so west of London, in a town called Slough.

Didn't someone write a poem about that once, Slough, bombs, despond! Rings a bell.

Being Wrong.

Mr Murphy has had some problems with his blog and in a Freudian moment described this as
big BT problems today.
He claims
I meant to say IT problems
but then sees the potential wisdom of his mistake.

A comment suggests this could be described as a Freudian Blip.

However, I think it's a Spoonerian Bong Wryte.
Just a thought!

Tax Research is good stuff.
Get your mice clicking and your keyboards rattling to demand principle based tax payments and tax justice from your MP and this miserable bunch of looters and gombeen men we call the government!

T' Urns Wormed

Didn't old Salmo Salmar do well.
Keith's mum thinks that he is worth a snog and a cuddle.
Given he is such a slippery character I hope he makes Rubber Man Cameroon's life slow hell.
(Sour grapes and wishful thinking... Ed)
Talking about Rubber Man and Gideon the word on the street is they are now brilliant strategists. Hmm... a few bob from the men in Bermuda Shorts (Oh even I can't believe I said that) must have helped.
I found that I had to indicate on my ballot in the local elections that I was spoilt for choice.
Seems to have produced a few chuckles.

Is there a progressive majority?
Not sure.
If the Jocks go their own way eventually, and good luck to them, what will be left?
Depressing thoughts over.
Just been listening to Tamikrest — Ayitma Madjam - Toumastin
Not that I understand the words but my informant, a Ms Kothari of the British Broadcasting Corporation, assures me that it contains a positive message.

Having finished off The Man from Beijing my staunch pals at the Local Library have provided Being Wrong for my delight and delectation.

It seems the pheasants of Suffolk, having risen up as one person with their hammers and sickles, have saved our local library, banished the wicked Witch of the East, and ensured that world peace and justice are just around the corner.

Being wrong, yes I'm looking forward to that!

Later, on Page 84, a group of individuals with little or no knowledge or expertise discussing theoretical physics:-

In fact, we could far more aptly have have been called shoestring theorists: virtuosos of developing elaborate hypotheses based on vanishingly small amounts of information.

I like that.