Taxonomics

The Buddhist Pizza College of Higher Taxonology (AKA The College of Knowledge or CoK) is pleased to announce an additional course in its extensive curriculum.

Taxonomics may be of interest to all those of means who have been disappointed in the current round of applications to less regarded institutions of learning. The objective of the course in is to ensure that the graduands go out into a harsh world with a firm grasp on their money and that of others, of course.

A quick example of the value we can bring. There have been attempts to collect more and more tax from fortunate individuals who have taken advantage of the superb tax environment offered by the Swiss authorities. The course will demonstrate how it is possible to adjust wealth lodged in this jurisdiction well before the 2013 deadline as easily as adjusting ones dress! The areas of offshore, transfer pricing, opacity, obscurity in corporate structure and beneficial non attributable ownership are pursued with legal and accounting rigour and extensive practical working examples. It has not been confirmed yet but we hope to have an inaugural lecture by a well known speaker on the personal benefits of the anonymous double trust. At this stage I can say no more! There will be extensive seminars, lectures and tutorials with highly regarded and
successful individuals who are conversant with individual tax havens, globalisation and the opportunities offered by development aid. We will not be offering input from the islands surrounding this one that have provided excellent service in the past. We feel their time is over and real wealth is moving elsewhere. While the Corporation of the City of London has been singled out for some criticism we feel it has created the right democratic structure, enterprise environment and business opportunity for the creation of serious money. We will take advantage of that and the opportunities offered by certain states in the USA. A field trip to the Cayenne Islands, where our sister enterprise Buddhist Pizza Inc. is incorporated and has its magnificent headquarters alongside Fast Willy’s Chicken Diner. In the interest of global development we will take at least one meal there, gratuities not included.

The theoretical underpinning of the course is that public expenditure is a giant Ponzi scheme and anything one can do to avoid contributing will bring benefits to the individual, society and the moral purpose of same. The emphasis is, of course, on avoidance. This is, as we all know, perfectly legal or as perfectly legal as armies of m'learned friends are able to demonstrate. It is tiresome to have to keep repeating this point but there are those who continually harp on about examples of legal actions that may well provoke moral repugnance and outrage! There are also those who claim to have identified a, so called, Tax Gap and suggested that this could be used to cure some of the current ills of the near perfect system of Capitalism we are evolving. The assertion that the existence of this Gap is akin to running a shop or business where rich customers choose what they will pay, if anything, for goods and services while less fortunate pay the full whack is bizarre. If only, but clearly not the case.

We are certain that at the completion of the course graduates will have increased their personal wealth by a factor of 1,000 in ways which will maximise its earning power in tax obscurity and secure it in perpetuity, safe from the ravening maw of the revenue man. I'm sure you will agree that is a challenging and intellectually rewarding task. Well worth the £100,000 fee we would expect to trouser as a private organisation. We are a charity registered in the Cayenne Isles and as a result, bursaries are only available to residents of that jurisdiction who satisfy the Loan Panel that they are truly indigent. (Please note the bursaries are only available in the form of loans and the panel next meets in 2015.)

(Many thanks to Richard Murphy, Nick Shaxson, and all the usual suspects who toil endlessly to expose the greedy, gouging, tax dodging ... Steady on; a man needs a few bob in his trousers for a rainy day. And haven't you come to some arrangement with the People's Bank about a cash ISA thingy...Ed)