As the end of the financial year draws nigh at Buddhist Pizza Inc. we have considered various salaries, payments, emoluments, bonuses and other matters of remuneration. The year has not been without its challenges and the modest profit of 4 trillion dollars has only been achieved through the tried and tested methods that have stood the financial services industry in such good stead for many years. Through the good offices and endeavours of our accountants, Messrs Bent, Filchit, Haven and Transfer-Pricing, we will pay tax of some 2,000 dollars to the government of the Cayenne Islands, where we are incorporated and have our magnificent headquarters alongside Fast Willy’s Chicken Diner. It is only fitting that we accept our corporate social responsibility and contribute to the economy of the Cayenne Islands. As a gesture of good will over and above this we will pay for a re-spray on Fast Willy’s van, in our corporate colours of course. Waste receptacles will also be provided to assist with the conservation of the environment and to reduce expenditure on rat poison. We expect, after dividend, professional services and other unavoidable costs, to be able to distribute 3.999 trillion dollars to board members and senior staff.
However, the way ahead is not without its dangers. My friends in the City of London have alerted me to moves by the great unwashed to force dynamic entrepreneurs, myself included, to pay more tax! I have created the magnificent wealth generating behemoth Buddhist Pizza Inc. as a contribution to humanity. It is my life’s work, it is my contribution to society. I have gained so little and given so much! What do they want now, blood? Oh no they want to:-
Pursue transparency,
Prioritise the needs of developing countries,
Abolish the City of London Corporation,
Reform onshore taxation,
Tackle the intermediaries and private users of offshore vehicles,
Reform the financial sector.
My god!
(see Treasure Islands – Tax havens and the men who stole the world. Nicholas Shaxson)
There are men like John Christensen biting the hand that is trying to take food from your table. I must confess that I had to sit down with a very stiff drink (40 year old Glen Trust – 2,000 sovs. a bottle) when I saw the anti-wealth pornography at Mr Murphy’s site.
I couldn’t finish watching it all. I had to finish the bottle instead.
So I say to Mr Cameron:- Stand firm rubber man!
And to Gideon:- Don’t be lily livered, live up to your name; cut, cut and cut again!
St Vincent De Cable remember:- the poor will always be with us, who else are we going to tax?
