We're doomed I tell you doomed!

OK.
So there must be some unease about switching on the Large Hadron Collider come the 10th September.
Well take it from me, there is not much to worry about. I am a string theorist and able to explain everything. What is going to happen - they are turning on the physicists' equivalent of the xmas lights.
Flip the switch and groan. We should have replaced those bulbs last year.
Yes but your Aunty Betty was so out of it we didn't have the heart to turn the power off.
Right check the bulbs one by one and try again.
By October they should have the experiment up to speed, the electricity bills paid and the magnets pointing in the right direction and whamo!
See those two protons, brilliant.