Some of my best friends are trees but I would not admit to it if anyone was listening.
Concern has been expressed about the deforestation of Uganda.
"Despite these concerns, the government is considering giving away an estimated 7,000 hectares of the dense 32,000 hectares Mabira Forest Reserve, about 50km east of the capital, Kampala, to a sugar company to plant cane."
"Environmentalists said the move would disrupt Uganda's bio-mass and rainfall patterns. It would also endanger rare species and disrupt the livelihood of thousands of people living around the tropical forest."
"According to Frank Mulamuzi, destruction of part of the forest would severely impact on Lake Victoria water levels, affect rainfall patterns, disturb the eco-system and change the micro-climate."So nothing new there then! However, we are nothing if not inventive. This mealy-mouthed eco-claptrap cut no timber with the government spokesperson who disagreed.
"This is the proper way of utilising resources,"according to Tamale Mirundi, President Yoweri Museveni's mean green machine!
He said.
"It is easier to relocate the forest by planting trees elsewhere than to relocate a factory."Now hold on. That gives me the germ of an idea! I see the very HN51 virus of and idea. Have we been going about this eco-business the wrong way? Could it be that all we need to do is relocate trees to somewhere less contentious and inconvenient. Bloody awkward having the Amazonian rain forest where it is. With the greatest respect to Johnny Appleseed, or whoever, I think the Caledonian Forest was a big mistake. All those subsistence farmers in their crofts, much better to have sheep, grouse and heather. It made it so much easier, eventually, to claim the subsidies!
Think of the millions to be made from the relocation of trees in the name of preserving the planet. The recycling of the displaced timber. The potential for redevelopment of prime building land. The opportunities for professionals, consultants and other mendicants to make an honest living. I feel faint at the thought. Where's the camomile?
70 million square metres for bugger all. Mmmm! 17 thousand acres and change in old money for nowt and here I am trying to take over the world on a government grant!
Anyone want to move a tree?
Many thanks to our EA correspondent in the shoes for this.
