Gideon

It is a while since I raised the bible in anger other than to track down the odd solution to a crossword clue. Even then it is more likely to be mediated by Wikipedia. When you are as clumsy as I am the heft of the 'good book' is as likely to fracture a toe as lead to the light! Imagine my horror when idly googling and wiking Gideon. There it was, Gideon, the destroyer, the feller of trees.

Very unsure of both himself and God's command, he requested proof of God's will by two miracles, performed on consecutive nights and the exact opposite of each other:

Amen, comrades, amen! So think on. This afternoon, if you are in the squeezed middle or just plain dirt poor, the destroyer, the tree feller is coming to get you, your job, your house, your pension if you have one, your hospital, your benefits and probably your first born.

Doom, I telt ye, doom!