Shy and Retiring.

June 2007.

Two men sit in a room, uncomfortable on such a hot day, dressed in jackets and ties. It is gloomy. There are large windows but the drapes filter out most of the light. A bottle of 30 year old malt, the colour of a maiden's blush, sits between them. Each cradles a glass.

"You'll be off tomorrow then, Tony?"

"Yes, I'll just say goodbye to the staff and tootle down to the palace."

"Put the fear of god into the old bat. Tell her that Phil the Greek is going on trial for conspiracy to murder!"

"Shit, Gordon that's not funny!"

"No, but I would love to see the silly old fart stand up sober in court and deny it. Have you heard from Peter?"

"Oh god, Gordon, one long whine after another."

"That is a shame, such talent, such intellect, such legs!"

"Now Gordie, remember the deal."

"OK, Tony. Is there any more of the devil's buttermilk?"

"Why not!"

"I tell you kid; I don't know what you had to do to get Big I to sign up for the deal but I hand it to you. In fact I don't want to know. I'm away off to see The Mater at the weekend and I could not have that on my conscience. Wife and bairns ok about this, Tony?"

"Yes. Ms Manzanilla is going off to a re-birthing experience in the mud flats of Cancun. The wains will all come round in the end. I'm sorry about the other night, Ewan is so highly strung. He takes after his mother!"

"OK Tone, no offence. Any more?"

"Sure. Why not? How's herself, I bet she is looking forward to this?"

"Aye. It's a pity it is not Princess M, though, that would have given me some fun with Betty when we went up to the palace."

"Christ, give me some more of that, I'm having second thoughts about this."

"No worries pal. I'm just pulling the plonker for old times sake."

As the level of the bottle goes down the two men fall silent and look in to the distance.

Visions from the past seep into the foreground; things getting better not worse, friends and comrades lost and dead.

"Look, Gordon, I would exhort you to abjure vanity and self-aggrandisement, recognise that you are the honoured servant of the people and that your only righteous purpose is to promote the welfare of your fellow citizens and the wellbeing of mankind."

"Away tae fuck, Tone! You are a serious piece of business. Oops it's empty. Is there any more?"

"I'll send one of the little people to see."

"Thanks!"