Thursday, May 24, 2007

Annual Report and Accounts of Buddhist Pizza Investment Enterprises.

I have great pleasure in presenting the annual report and accounts of Buddhist Pizza Investment Enterprises (BPIE).
First can I welcome our visitors from the USA, Tibet and South Wazieristan. It is pleasant to see violent saffron robes mixing once again with the gentle hues of olive green uniforms and the modest garb of our faithful followers.

We have proved ourselves not only popular but profitable! The accompanying consolidated accounts show a remarkable and substantial increase in trading. Despite having to countenance the early retirement of our good friend Mr Wolf for family reasons we have continued with strong growth in all sectors. We carry forward a surplus of over 60 billion dollars, after tax, due in no small part to the hard work of our staff and directors and the ease in selling the idea of Affordable Nuclear Deterrence for Small and Medium Countries.

It took some time to develop this concept with the commander in chief of our private security company but we got there in the end. I will pause for a moment to remember those that fell on the journey, Donald, Karl and the old guy who used to bring the coffee and hubble-bubbles round, or was it the hookers, when we were looking for inspiration.

I have to pay tribute here to someone very special. I could not have done this without the unselfish support of my deputy, Dick, or Deputy Dick as we refer to him. Only someone with a religious conviction so strong, a humane vision of the sanctity of all life and an understanding of the importance of the bottom line could have driven this organisation to the position it is in today! I recommend the modest increase in his remuneration to 10 percent of the audited surplus and a similar contribution to his pension fund. As you know I draw no remuneration from our company but make a modest charge of 4,000 dollars a mile for my travel and subsistence.
Doing well by doing goodThe diagram above shows the breadth of interest in our product across the globe. We are glad to see activity in the USA on the Eastern Seaboard. This includes contact with Langley Va. and a substantial property in DC. I personally look forward to developing a very close relationship here.

The traditional market for our type of product is well represented by our contacts in Germany, Italy and Sweden. They are very discrete retailers. In addition, the EU is a haven of peace, stability and security and so able to to provide our products and services to those that are not. They have done this in a way which is affordable, not traceable and free from so called 'ethical' restraint for some time.

Interesting and adventurous proposals are at the heart of our business. This is the reason that we have not overdeveloped in the dark, and eventually we hope very profitable, continent. We are making steady progress in East Africa and have avoided some of the pitfalls that minor competitors have experienced.

My regret for the year is that interest in China and Mongolia appears not to have continued from its early, high, level. That is why I am so pleased to have our visitors with us today from Central Asia. We wish to prosper in a region to which we owe so much philosophically.

It is important not to paint too rosy a picture for our investors. There are substantial threats and challenges in the year ahead. I have not used the R word so far but I cannot duck the duties of a responsible helmsperson. My colleagues on the board see Russia as a threat. That may be the case and I'm sure you were willing to submit to the minor inconvenience of a full body radiological examination before being admitted to the meeting. Peace of mind is, after all, priceless. I prefer to see Russia as an opportunity for the future, and hope to have some exciting news when we report on BPIE next year. Until then, I take the approval of the report and accounts as read, invite you to join us in a glass of wine, just the one, and commend to you our company slogan.

Make me one with everything.