The tastelessness of wolves.

Homelessness and housing!
Haven't we come a long way since Cathy came home

We all know the story of the three little piggies.

So, to take the curly tail further.

Along came a man, with a wolf. He answered to the name of Al. He had a stocky frame and a broad nose. Occasionally, but not in polite company, he grunted. In polite company he merely sighed! The wolf was a sweetie with big yellow teeth and a wicked sense of humour.

The first pig offered to introduce Al and his wolf to Little Red Riding Hood’s (LRRH) granny. She had a room in her home; for 400 sovs they could have the room, a bath once a week and go outside in the woods if nature called. There was no access to the kitchen but there was a McOndos at the entrance to the forest. Al took it; he had no choice. He did have the 1600 sovs deposit for the month, and the deal was done.

Granny got weaker and weaker because of the pollution from the pig factory in the heart of the forest. Al and the wolf looked after her as best as they could, after their 16 hour shifts at the pig factory, but to no avail. She faded away and eventually Al and the wolf were evicted by the property developers who offered LRHH 1 million sovs to allow them to create a rustic holiday village. Naturally enough this had a value in excess of 100 million sovs from the word go!

Al said what do we do now, the wolf smiled, LRRH said "Jings I canna be doing with this." and went off to the bank.

So, the second pig offered Al and his wolf a room. 600 sovs a week, fair share of the kitchen and bathroom, outside loo, lovely views of the municipal recycling dump, and all the methane you can breathe. Al took it; he had no choice. He did have the 2400 sovs deposit, after a fashion, and the deal was done.
Al worked to get the money for the rent. An uphill struggle as they say.The wolf watched and waited as wolves do, it’s in their nature.

Times were good. Al had enough to pay the rent, feed himself, the wolf and go down the pub. Time marched on.

Along came a pig called Credit Crunch (CC) he was wild wacky and lotsa fun. He offered Al ‘A DEAL’ 2000 sovs! A little bit extra for the holiday, festival, wolves…...

The wolf growled, CC jumped, but he clinched the deal! So, Al now had the uphill and a little bit more. Well you can imagine; not a happy story.

Especially as the pig factory had to close. Damn those economic cycles! Don’t you just hate it when they do that?

So, there’s Al. Nowhere to go, no home, nothing to do and no sovs to do it with. The wolf still looked pretty sanguine, as wolves do, even though it is going to be a hard winter.

As they shuffled through the woods, somewhat downcast, Al and the wolf met Da Guy!

“Hello!” said Al.

“WHATEVER !” said Da Guy.

Al said he was sorry and the wolf grinned, after a fashion. No! Da Guy said that it was 13 down, eight letters,

‘Where VAT is applied regardless’

nice one.

The wolf said that Bunthorne can be such a bugger!

They moved on quickly, Al had other things to think about.

Da Guy called after them and asked if there was anything he could do.

“Not unless you can dig me, and the wolf, out of a hole, give us some sovs, and put a roof over our heads!?” said Al.

“Sorry,” said Da Guy, “ain’t got a shovelbut. How about an affordable loan and an affordable place to rent and a place for you and woolfie to work?”

“Don’t patronise me.”

said wolf.

Al asked how he could pay for this. Did it involve signing away parts of his body, the rights to his first born plus 16 hours a day of hard labour?

“No. Just work down at the community woodland coop.”

“Think about it!”

“We’ve thought about it.” said wolf.

“Where does he sign?”

“On a piece paper, usually at the bottom.” said Da Guy.

The wolf thought humans could be such a pain.