Erskine May and then he may not.

It may not be helpful but has anyone noticed the similarity between the family name of our leading parliamentary strategician (of the 19th century... Ed!) and our own dear PM? The sun in our hearts, our great leader, our great helmsperson, the sun in ou... (Get on with it if you would I have a dentist to see in about 2 hours...Ed.) Would that involve a procedure known as a brexit?
To return to the matter in hand. Could our present difficulties be a rave from the grave? Could the ghost of Erskine be returning to haunt Tess the vacuous? Some family feud unresolved over the years? (Jaysus!What, in the name of all that is good and holy, have you been smoking? That is her hubby's name. She was born a Brasier...Ed) Ah so that's what is smoking. You can't get any decent  coke for the old brassier anymore! Maybe it's a malfunction in her AI that has got us here, but anyroads,Tess I think the best plan is the oldest excuse in the school yard. A big boy did it and ran away!

Speakers' Wives

What japes! Mr Speaker Bercow intervenes in a long and sorry saga. By their wives' bumper stickers ye shall know them - the eyes to the right the nose to the left.

The Look of Unlove

I don't often comment on this Brexit Business and the fools, gombeen men and cunctators that have got us to this pretty pass. As the vote went down like a rat sandwich last night we were there, in spirit, listening to the wireless thingy that has  pictures... (Not listening to the Archers then? Missed a cracker...Ed.)
The pictures that emerged afterwards of the 'bloody difficult woman' gently weeping into the back of the Jag brought forth the memory of a comment by a wise colleague at the political demise of a previous female PM. To the statement  "Lord how she has suffered!" he replied "Yes. But not nearly enough!" However, paranoia took over. Do they want to get rid of her? Yes. If they do we are at least in for a very bumpy ride. The legacy of Article 50 without a deal is the quickest way down. Jump!
And with one bound they were free and heading south under the influence of gravity.

And now for something completely different a goat, a goat!
(Is that a Government Of All the ... Ed?)
Time for some T I think, perky, fair trade, organic, reviving and uplifting T.

Collectivisation

A Whats app explosion of collective nouns.
- A parliament of owls - surely its rooks?
- I think it is used for both.
- A dazzle of zebras is the best...
- I like that
- Well, I think owls and rooks might be more efficient than our current parliament.
- Hear, hear. It's just a set of thieving magpies
- Not heard the dazzle before. Good one.
- What about a Confederacy of Dunces
- so good John Kennedy Toole made it into a novel?

- What about a blaze of dragons?
- Dangerous in the current phase of the six nations of Rugby?

Stones

'Everybody got to get stoned'

Sam Bennett makes beautiful sculptures on beaches. Lots of cool pics of stones!
Little vid on the shore  or on Instagram if that's your thing.

(Grateful for small murphies...Ed)
Small Potatoes?

Ain't DNA Wonderful

This is what DNA gets up to when no one is, usually, looking.
Clever Stuff!

(I suppose you could call it a hard boiled egg, 6 minutes... Ed?)

DooH!
Many thanks to Memex, as usual.

Early Morning Guardianing

Ariel Dorfman hits the nail on the head with opinions about Roma, Alfonso Cuaron's film, in the Grauniad. ( have you ever noted that Roma is Amor in reverse, I thought being a Crosswordy type you would have that spotted right away...Ed?) No, I had not and if you don't get out of those PJs I will have a few cross words to say; half the morning has gone already.

Also the Guardian suggests  an idea that 'Little Matty' should be pursuing with some vigour in relation to the high cost of medication that holds users to ransom  -

... parents and the medicines group Just Treatment are urging the government to invoke “crown use”, allowing it to make cheap versions and pay Vertex a smaller sum in compensation. This would be very unusual, but not unprecedented. The principle that intellectual property rules cannot automatically outweigh health considerations is well established, and not only in public opinion; it is recognised in the WTO’s Doha declaration of 2001.

Good games on Saturday but...
And now a word from our sponsors:-
When forwards back and centres drift three quarters kick the can.
The day will end as best it must. A pint of plain is your only man!

(Do we get paid for that sort of thing and are we not at danger of being pursued by the Literary Executors of Himself...Ed?)
Imitation is the greatest form of flattery and don't talk to me about money when you are sat there half dressed at this time of the morning. Casual dress for home workers is one thing but crimes of fashion are another!

Reflections on a Dead Parrot.

This Brexit is dead. It is deceased. It has passed on. It is no more .....
Sadly as we all know the Norwegian Blue Brexit is just resting - it is tired. The fact that it is nailed to the perch with a six inch nail has got nothing to do with anything.

I quote...

"Specifically, if you look at this map of Norway you will see the areas I have diligently coloured in blue. They are the locations where, if you search carefully enough, you will see many examples of the resting Blue Brexit. "  T. May (Head Girl, aged 13)

Sue Grafton

I'm not too sure when we ran across the Kinsey Millhone PI novels, or indeed, who we have to thank for pointing them out to us. However, they have been a pleasure and we have read most of Sue Grafton's output about the hard boiled female detective. The series is titled from -  A is for Alibi  to - X and I would recommend them to any addicts of  crime fiction especially the US West Coast before the mobile phone... I was looking for the last volume of her output, rumoured to be titled Z is for Zero for an Xmas present when I saw the paperback for the Y novel branded as the last ever  Kinsey Millhonecase. Sue died last year and of course I missed it like I miss so much. I was pretty sure that I had met her, (at Murder One ?) and thumbing through the shelves found this.

I'm so glad that authors continue to tell us stories and signposters like Elaine, as I think it was, gently point us in the direction of good story tellers!

Olympic Events

Note for future administrators.
New Sports - Kicking the Can down the road.
An  Illustration May be helpful.

Reading again

Mothering Law’s Sayings - 99 in a series
“All this reading will turn your brain into Train Oil.”
How this comes about or what the underlying biochemical process is I have no idea.
Nor have I the foggiest what is the chemical composition of Train Oil. Perhaps we could direct the research Labs of BP enterprises to investigate. They may know one or two chaps at Alpha Labs, they are deep in the territory of protein folding. Now where was I, steep tin territory...Oh yes, Australia!
I noted that on the On the Java Ridge, by Jock Serong  won a prize for a thriller “in which no woman is beaten, stalked, sexually exploited, raped or murdered”. Trying my local library for this volume I came across an electronic copy of The rules of Backyard Cricket,  an earlier book by the same author. Intriguing book very twisty plot  and had me reading it at 9.45 to the bitter end  in my pjs (Well past your bedtime I surmise...Ed?) a.m. before my porridge as it happens.
Maybe a gift for the (Sports) man in your life?  (other volumes and gifts are available ...Ed!)

Felinity

My parents had a saying that some thing or person was useful in a house where there was no cat.
You may take this surreal and gentle barb any way you wish! I am not a great lover of cats (Oh god no! We will be plagued now by cat lovers and the anti cat defamation society, by the owners of Tiddles and Pussy Willow and all manner of the felinatious fraternity. We should publish a retraction- immediately...Ed!)

... However, I  was taken by this fellow the other day.

I offer my sincerest apologies if it is a female or LBQTRSVP or some other thing! I was reluctant to pursue the matter further!

Who do you think you're kidding Mr Junker?

I accused someone the other day, inappropriately, and I thought in good humour, of being a Trot.
I was maundering through the Talking Politics website trying out the new search facility when I came across this,  the only item available -Sold Out- Did I laugh? Does the pope s*i* in the woods? Then I 'caught myself on'. Who's the Trot now? (???... Ed.)

God, I thought I could be obscure and no you can't have a sub (see previous post). Austerity has not gone away, yet. However, Talking Politics seems to be here to stay and  does provide information, opinion and a few laughs, intended or otherwise. Get it while it is good and hot!

An Aye for the Ladies

One of my favourite post cards over the years is a photo of members of the Women's Forestry Corps in Heathfield, Sussex. It is dated June 1918 and was taken by Horace Nicholls. Sadly it does not seem to be in the Imperial War Museum online collection or on interwebDuckDuckGo.
It shows two women at a grindstone sharpening an axe!

As this blog has testified I am little better than a point and shoot photo bandit.
Nicholls was the real Godfather in this ting of ours!
If you don't believe me have a look at the Horace Nicholls website and see the Slide Show.
I particularly like:-
12 - A group of female brewery workers, London.
21 - An English farm girl with her horse.
22 - An Inspector and a Sergeant in the Women's Police Service.
Those looking for cheap thrills and pornography can look elsewhere after boiling their heads, of course.
(Glad to see you back and in reasonable shape, any chance of a sub? ...Ed)

Horses for Courses

And a very good morning to yourself. I'm assuming we will pass over the flying visit by Frankie, as an appropriate subject for discussion.
Frankie goes to Holy Wood, in fact.
Oh oh. Smart boy wanted! No I was thinking how the blessed Tess performed in the dancing department recently.
Well I think there is no doubt that the degree in colouring in was useful discovering Africa as a place for an activity holiday.
Brutal, have you no compassion for the woman at all? She may be facing a run off with that animal Boorish Johnstown!
Not in those heels, she won't.
Our bank holiday seemed to revolve around horses of a different stripe!
Are you sure they weren't zebras?
No I'm sure it's spots before the old eyes not stripes since you ask! Rather, we watched some fine fillies and some fillies in their finery on Saturday at Euston ( the Hall, that is, not the station) and on Sunday we were greeted by a performance from the massed bands of the Knettishall ponies. A pictorial comparison will suffice no doubt.

Smart phone wanted? I never had you down as a silver techie. It seems I was mistaken. There's my bus, I'll be off then.

Meurig

A message. Muerig, a friend and a lovely man, has died.
I thought of this song, Fair Love of my Heart sung by Ishbel MacAskill, as a fitting reminder of what a gentle, good humoured, man he was.

Meurig
A rolling Moss,
A gentle smile and a hearty chuckle
from a small frame browned by the sun of many summer camps.
A truer of wheels and young minds buckled by potholes of existence.
A generous sharer in the water of life.
Sadly, one day, we will all come to the end of the bottle. 

Cake News

August can be a cruel month. It is hot and nearly everybody is on holiday. The temptation to hide in the garden with a glass of chilled white wine or a bottle of beer, a pot of tea and cake, a good book, a box of chocolates, a crossword or two is overwhelming. However, we set off for a circular, walk in Lavenham. A short distance from  the Church on the road brought us to a footpath and this led across fields inhabited by a Punch and Judy Show and some desultory rams.We passed  Slough Farm, and not a sign of despond anywhere, took the path of  the disused railway line.  The path is wide and easy, it has several benches for the weary along its length (the beery wenches, however, remained in their gardens with Mr Spooner!) Along St Edmunds  Way we  stopped for the obligatory photo opportunity and for the first time, courtesy of visitors from California, a group selfie! (Regular readers and those of a delicate or nervous disposition should not take fright at this point. This technical  term which is  part and parcel of sociable media and the interweb, is explained by Mr Wikipedia and Mrs DuckDuckGo if you care to pursue them!)The footpath and our route returned us to the trees below and eventually to a stile on Park Road. All passed safely through the hedge via the stile including your correspondent who being a man of some girth and gravity was concerned that he might have to be dragged though it backwards! Turning into Hall Road we took a footpath which returned us to the Church and gave a good view of Lavenham Hall and the lake. A quick show of hands indicated that there was a need for rest and re-hydration and this was provided by the local hostelry. And for those patient enough to wait for it - Help yourselves to a piece of Cake!

To the Library

And while we are on the subject of Libraries (again... Ed)
Forbes is thought by a multitude of librarians and other interested parties, (as reported by the Grauniad
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/jul/23/twaddle-librarians-respond-to-suggestion-amazon-should-replace-libraries?)
to talk a lot of Twaddle!
We may not be technically proficient in the subject of Twaddle but we feel our basic grounding in the discipline of FLAKENEWS qualifies us to offer our own brief disquisition. We shall refrain, however, from bellyaching about the evils of austerity, the callousness of cuts, the hosting  of hostilities, the visiting of the dead and the burying of the sick and all the other Works of Corporeal Murphy. Rather, we shall ask you to consider that libraries are one of the few services provided by a civilised society where we agree to share the use of stuff which we do not own except in a collective sense. While this may not work with donkeys, see Idris Shah and the exploits of the Sainted Mullah Nasrudin, it most certainly does for reading and listening material held in libraries real and virtual and has done in a good way for many thousands of years (on stone tablets no doubt...Ed). This alone would convince me but, of course as the good librarians point out, libraries do more, much more. The fact that some Bald Bozo wants to take over the world and sell us the same donkey twice should not influence us one bit or byte even! He can away and polish his heed!

And now a shelfie from our sponsors.

(Do you not think all these murdery, thrillery things might give people the wrong idea about a transcendentally named Blog the wrong idea... Ed?)

Yes!

Small Orchards of Time and Space

The man is back with Book of the Week.

Raja Shehadeh - Where the line is drawn.

We were discussing time at the dinner table tonight and I thought I would tap into book of the week on the beeb. Almost the first phrase, above, drew me in. Give it a go!

Camino Del Libros

 (Do you not think a spoiler alert would be a kindness at this point...Ed)

Prospective readers who may believe that the 'Butler done it' should visit an optician and a doctor now!

I enjoyed being set up to follow the finely plotted heist only to see the rapid degeneration of the theft into a murderous farce. No such thing as the perfect crime and criminals have feet of clay and hearts of stone. For all their technical majesty and resources the Federal Bureau of Ineptitude were unable to make the closure of a conviction in the face of 'no comment'. So it is up to the plucky and no doubt delightful insurance investigator to pull the cat or rather the Gatsby out of the (swag) bag.
I found it a ripping good yarn and a relaxing way to cope with the recent drought and heat wave.
My only complaint, and this is not damming with faint praise, is that I did not like the ending. It was tricky and neat and all things Grisham. BUT far too easy an ending for Bruce who had committed the most heinous of crimes. In his corner you might claim that he is not a genocidal maniac a mass murderer, rapist or child molester, fair enough. He did however "traffic in stolen books". It is not a defence or plea in mitigation that no books were harmed in the process. The august and wealthy educational institution could stand the hit and the insurance company would, no doubt, collectivise their losses.
 The blackguard was a party to the stealing of the books!
Hanging, drawing and quartering are not enough.
But then I always was a tender-hearted liberal!