Felinity

My parents had a saying that some thing or person was useful in a house where there was no cat.
You may take this surreal and gentle barb any way you wish! I am not a great lover of cats (Oh god no! We will be plagued now by cat lovers and the anti cat defamation society, by the owners of Tiddles and Pussy Willow and all manner of the felinatious fraternity. We should publish a retraction- immediately...Ed!)

... However, I  was taken by this fellow the other day.

I offer my sincerest apologies if it is a female or LBQTRSVP or some other thing! I was reluctant to pursue the matter further!

Who do you think you're kidding Mr Junker?

I accused someone the other day, inappropriately, and I thought in good humour, of being a Trot.
I was maundering through the Talking Politics website trying out the new search facility when I came across this,  the only item available -Sold Out- Did I laugh? Does the pope s*i* in the woods? Then I 'caught myself on'. Who's the Trot now? (???... Ed.)

God, I thought I could be obscure and no you can't have a sub (see previous post). Austerity has not gone away, yet. However, Talking Politics seems to be here to stay and  does provide information, opinion and a few laughs, intended or otherwise. Get it while it is good and hot!

An Aye for the Ladies

One of my favourite post cards over the years is a photo of members of the Women's Forestry Corps in Heathfield, Sussex. It is dated June 1918 and was taken by Horace Nicholls. Sadly it does not seem to be in the Imperial War Museum online collection or on interwebDuckDuckGo.
It shows two women at a grindstone sharpening an axe!

As this blog has testified I am little better than a point and shoot photo bandit.
Nicholls was the real Godfather in this ting of ours!
If you don't believe me have a look at the Horace Nicholls website and see the Slide Show.
I particularly like:-
12 - A group of female brewery workers, London.
21 - An English farm girl with her horse.
22 - An Inspector and a Sergeant in the Women's Police Service.
Those looking for cheap thrills and pornography can look elsewhere after boiling their heads, of course.
(Glad to see you back and in reasonable shape, any chance of a sub? ...Ed)

Horses for Courses

And a very good morning to yourself. I'm assuming we will pass over the flying visit by Frankie, as an appropriate subject for discussion.
Frankie goes to Holy Wood, in fact.
Oh oh. Smart boy wanted! No I was thinking how the blessed Tess performed in the dancing department recently.
Well I think there is no doubt that the degree in colouring in was useful discovering Africa as a place for an activity holiday.
Brutal, have you no compassion for the woman at all? She may be facing a run off with that animal Boorish Johnstown!
Not in those heels, she won't.
Our bank holiday seemed to revolve around horses of a different stripe!
Are you sure they weren't zebras?
No I'm sure it's spots before the old eyes not stripes since you ask! Rather, we watched some fine fillies and some fillies in their finery on Saturday at Euston ( the Hall, that is, not the station) and on Sunday we were greeted by a performance from the massed bands of the Knettishall ponies. A pictorial comparison will suffice no doubt.

Smart phone wanted? I never had you down as a silver techie. It seems I was mistaken. There's my bus, I'll be off then.

Meurig

A message. Muerig, a friend and a lovely man, has died.
I thought of this song, Fair Love of my Heart sung by Ishbel MacAskill, as a fitting reminder of what a gentle, good humoured, man he was.

Meurig
A rolling Moss,
A gentle smile and a hearty chuckle
from a small frame browned by the sun of many summer camps.
A truer of wheels and young minds buckled by potholes of existence.
A generous sharer in the water of life.
Sadly, one day, we will all come to the end of the bottle. 

Cake News

August can be a cruel month. It is hot and nearly everybody is on holiday. The temptation to hide in the garden with a glass of chilled white wine or a bottle of beer, a pot of tea and cake, a good book, a box of chocolates, a crossword or two is overwhelming. However, we set off for a circular, walk in Lavenham. A short distance from  the Church on the road brought us to a footpath and this led across fields inhabited by a Punch and Judy Show and some desultory rams.We passed  Slough Farm, and not a sign of despond anywhere, took the path of  the disused railway line.  The path is wide and easy, it has several benches for the weary along its length (the beery wenches, however, remained in their gardens with Mr Spooner!) Along St Edmunds  Way we  stopped for the obligatory photo opportunity and for the first time, courtesy of visitors from California, a group selfie! (Regular readers and those of a delicate or nervous disposition should not take fright at this point. This technical  term which is  part and parcel of sociable media and the interweb, is explained by Mr Wikipedia and Mrs DuckDuckGo if you care to pursue them!)The footpath and our route returned us to the trees below and eventually to a stile on Park Road. All passed safely through the hedge via the stile including your correspondent who being a man of some girth and gravity was concerned that he might have to be dragged though it backwards! Turning into Hall Road we took a footpath which returned us to the Church and gave a good view of Lavenham Hall and the lake. A quick show of hands indicated that there was a need for rest and re-hydration and this was provided by the local hostelry. And for those patient enough to wait for it - Help yourselves to a piece of Cake!

To the Library

And while we are on the subject of Libraries (again... Ed)
Forbes is thought by a multitude of librarians and other interested parties, (as reported by the Grauniad
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/jul/23/twaddle-librarians-respond-to-suggestion-amazon-should-replace-libraries?)
to talk a lot of Twaddle!
We may not be technically proficient in the subject of Twaddle but we feel our basic grounding in the discipline of FLAKENEWS qualifies us to offer our own brief disquisition. We shall refrain, however, from bellyaching about the evils of austerity, the callousness of cuts, the hosting  of hostilities, the visiting of the dead and the burying of the sick and all the other Works of Corporeal Murphy. Rather, we shall ask you to consider that libraries are one of the few services provided by a civilised society where we agree to share the use of stuff which we do not own except in a collective sense. While this may not work with donkeys, see Idris Shah and the exploits of the Sainted Mullah Nasrudin, it most certainly does for reading and listening material held in libraries real and virtual and has done in a good way for many thousands of years (on stone tablets no doubt...Ed). This alone would convince me but, of course as the good librarians point out, libraries do more, much more. The fact that some Bald Bozo wants to take over the world and sell us the same donkey twice should not influence us one bit or byte even! He can away and polish his heed!

And now a shelfie from our sponsors.

(Do you not think all these murdery, thrillery things might give people the wrong idea about a transcendentally named Blog the wrong idea... Ed?)

Yes!

Small Orchards of Time and Space

The man is back with Book of the Week.

Raja Shehadeh - Where the line is drawn.

We were discussing time at the dinner table tonight and I thought I would tap into book of the week on the beeb. Almost the first phrase, above, drew me in. Give it a go!

Camino Del Libros

 (Do you not think a spoiler alert would be a kindness at this point...Ed)

Prospective readers who may believe that the 'Butler done it' should visit an optician and a doctor now!

I enjoyed being set up to follow the finely plotted heist only to see the rapid degeneration of the theft into a murderous farce. No such thing as the perfect crime and criminals have feet of clay and hearts of stone. For all their technical majesty and resources the Federal Bureau of Ineptitude were unable to make the closure of a conviction in the face of 'no comment'. So it is up to the plucky and no doubt delightful insurance investigator to pull the cat or rather the Gatsby out of the (swag) bag.
I found it a ripping good yarn and a relaxing way to cope with the recent drought and heat wave.
My only complaint, and this is not damming with faint praise, is that I did not like the ending. It was tricky and neat and all things Grisham. BUT far too easy an ending for Bruce who had committed the most heinous of crimes. In his corner you might claim that he is not a genocidal maniac a mass murderer, rapist or child molester, fair enough. He did however "traffic in stolen books". It is not a defence or plea in mitigation that no books were harmed in the process. The august and wealthy educational institution could stand the hit and the insurance company would, no doubt, collectivise their losses.
 The blackguard was a party to the stealing of the books!
Hanging, drawing and quartering are not enough.
But then I always was a tender-hearted liberal!

Flake News

Have you been troubled by Flake News recently?

Do you feel bloated?
Do you suffer from hair loss?
Do you find yourself subject to insurmountable urges and rages?
Are you afflicted by mood swings?
Has your skin taken on a strange orange pallor?

You may be suffering from  FLAKENEWS!!
This condition can also cause disruption of sleep, rational thought, digestive functions, family and sexual relations.

If you have been affected by any of the above you should seek the advice of a registered medical practitioner. 

Help is available and you may, if you wish, contact Flakeanon a support group for those with the condition or their families, loved ones, political affiliates and persons providing financial services.

Please contact our agents on the Island of Ben Nevis!

(Dear god! No posts for months and then this, this Farage of Alt Facts and Remainer Hokum. It must be the heat...Ed)

I don't need a weather man to tell me which way the wind blows! As someone once said.

White Lace?

Insect with feathers?

Gene, Genie

I have been reading a book, courtesy of the Wonderful Librarians of SLIPS, very interesting as your man would say.
Siddhartha  Mukherjee - The gene

A short ad break 
I am provoked by this tome to start a crowd funding activity to discover the definitive GENE for a bad hair day, let's say we name this gene  BPBHD17. Now, I intend to throw the entire resources of the Buddhist Pizza Research Institute for Advanced Studies in Genetics to seek pending patents on this unique genetic material and will, after due process, form a profitable association for the generation of lots of spondulicks. You may participate if you wish and make contributions via our representatives in the Cayenne Island -usual t&c's, including the pledging of your firstborn as security, apply and will be provided (grudgingly...Ed.) on application.

Disclaimer - I am not a lawyer, accountant or business advisor (IANALABA) and you should seek professional advice where appropriate.
 Sponsored by Buddhist Pizza Enterpises End

A grand wee book (nearly 600 pages, you wouldn't want to drop that on your foot... Ed!)
Some wonderful writing, turns of phrase and ideas that knock your socks off!
On p340 dealing with on the evolution of humanity and the dispersion of the human ' race ' he makes the point that

"We were on the same boat, brother."

A thread running through it is that there is only one race, really, the human race. Recently my feeling is that we are not odds on and close to the possibility of losing it, in a Windrush!

(Is this Blog thingy  not getting a bit wordy, dull and uninteresting... Ed?)

I'll have my photographer rustle a few pictures later on, maybe stone washed Levi's, Wranglers or would you prefer flares?

Transhumance

Yourman Macfarlane has transhumance as his word of the day.
The tweetings that follow it are really interesting/charming. I suppose it is acceptable in a week which has a Monday/Tuesday before it is Good Friday (good anyday I'd say...Ed) enough of that and in which we stuff ourselves with the output from Chocolate Hens which have hot cross bums! Amen.

Bird Brain and Murmuration

The book of the week is  The Wood by John Lewis-Stempel  Read by Greg Wise
 I am reflecting on this and life etc when I notice
Mr Wikipedia asserts that flocking behaviors are controlled by three simple rules:

    Separation - avoid crowding neighbors (short range repulsion)
    Alignment - steer towards average heading of neighbors
    Cohesion - steer towards average position of neighbors (long range attraction)

So there you go. However, I'm not sure I would be able to solve,  continuously, 3 similtaneous differential equations while flying 30 metres (variable) above the ground.

A nice touch in the description of blackbirds - squawking like enraged Ayatollahs.
(Is that not a touch perjorative... Ed?)
To a blackbird, possibly, but you are looking at a man who has enjoyed two filums in the last 24 hours, Dr Zhivago and Brooklyn and who's peace and equilibrium are not to be shifted!

Dead, dead and never called me muvver!

The season for dying. Always a touchy one. Still, a certainty for us all.
Some this season cause sadness and some pass by like clouds casting the shadow of mortality over us!
The traditional piper Liam Óg O'Flynn died at the age of 72  reported yesterday by RTE

He has appeared in this blog before in the guise of Planxty at a time of sadness

The wailing of the pipes is a representation of our grief but it can also be an outpouring of great  joy.
(Nuff said... Ed)
For once!

Breakfast

Best meal of the day, really, but as we progress in age (and wisdom and grace as well surely...Ed!)
I've told you before not Shirley!
On these cold and grey days a little later perhaps. However, that gives herself time to fill up the birds' feeders. I spotted this fella as I was munching on my mixture of seeds nuts and oats.

Marvellous things proton pumps, have I ever mentioned it before.

A Snow Dog's Life

World book day allegedly. Robert Macfarlane has an interesting thought -

Life is books - Life is a beech - haven't we been here before - La vida es un(a) haya

In the meantime here is a wee fella we found on our patch the other day.

(Looks like a dog to me ... Ed)!
Out of the mouths of Babes and Teenagers.

Anyone for Cake?

I can't believe we have been at this for a dozen years.
BP 12 today!

(God almighty, teenagers...Ed!)

e Baa Gum Books!

Well then it's books!

I've been reading them, e-reading them, listening to them, commenting on them, reading about them in various forms and generally getting on like a pig in muck (Is that not too, how shall we say, agricultural a metaphor... Ed!)
It's earthy and a simile if you must;  moving  on. Your man in the Grauniad has a low opinion of the ebooky thingamyjigs.  However,  since he probably earns a good screw selling dead trees to people who should know better, he may have a point.
I grant you e-books have not:
- Brought about world peace and justice;
- Found a cure for cancer;
- Eradicated poverty and famine at a stroke;
- Brought democracy to Messers All & Sundry;
- Implemented a significant programme of renewable energy;
- Cut our carbon emissions by 90%...
(I think I catch your drift. Could we not take a break, sit down have a cup of tea and show a wee picture by way of  ***INTERMISSION *** ...Ed)

***INTERMISSION ***

If you are interested, and you should be, My Europe is a fine anthology of writing on Europe from Patrician Press. 

I'm sure that when all has come to pass, ourselves included, those that follow will say, mystified:-

"YOU DID WHAT...!?"

Deer, dear, dearie me!

An article in the Grauniad about the problem of the deer! To cull or not to cull?
A web of interests and lives.
Cull the landowners (humanely of course...Ed?)
But they include  the  communities such as the  Assynt Crofters’ Trust
Undoubtedly jobs  are hard enough to find and retain in such places.
Hat tip to Bob Mc F and the Grauniad for this
(Sensitively done I thought. Congratulations all round. We will make a blogger out of you yet...Ed!)

Yes. I thought the alternative title for this post:-
Wild swivel-eyed eco-communists destroy local jobs after instruction from long term beardie sleeper, Czech, mole!
was a bit long.