And then there were...

One last heave and we're there.
You get at the back Peter and push him.
What's that wee numpty doing on the box?
I thought he was north of the border sh*%%^ng sheep.
What about the rainbow? What about ginger?
Oh F*%k! Here comes the dark Mountain.
Bugger this.

Step out, approach microphone, on my right, not too close...
It has been a privilege...
Not the trappings of power but the power to change...
All my fault...
Tremble lip, catch in voice, glance to right, christ better move on quick...
Get the kids, I'm off to see Brenda.

Walk up the street...
What number was it, 10?
Yes I know it's a bit small, but the weekend drum is ok-ish...
Approach microphone, yes on my left, back a bit, lots of space give em the Dark Madonna...
Strong government...
National interest...
Hard work...
Rebuilding family...
Crisis...
Honest...
Back to door, see that, 10
Cuddle, peck, not too much...
Open the door...
Gus! I'm home....

To rephrase a certain Mr Wislon...
Thirteen years of Tory misrule and we never won the World cup of Football once.
What a waste!