A critical point in the economic cycle

We approach a café somewhere near Portobello Road.

The door is open and a solitary white figure enters the café. He is wearing Lycra and a cycling helmet. He picks up a chair reverses it and sits.

He positions the chair across the cheap formica table from a lean black man in jeans and a leather jacket. He has dreadlocks stuffed inside a huge leather peaked cap. He tokes hard on a Camberwell carrot and while exhaling the smoke his voice rumbles:

Dave, mon good you could call in - see I an I.

Dave clears his throat and pitched a semitone higher than he intended squeaks:

Samuel. Yo, good to see you man!

I hear you lost wheels mon, an you lookin for I an I to find dem, teehee!

Well, yes I was hoping 'the project' would produce some positive media outputs.

No problem Dave, I’m sure we can do bissness….

Well I’d be very grateful, I really loved that bike and to think that some little scrote had it away while I was down Tesco’s really hacks me off. Besides the publicity will be a bit of a bunce.

Chill Dave! Have a toke.

It’s not that stunk stuff is it, the press would have a ball with that?

Dave, you are wid friens, what pass between you an I an I is a sacred as the confessionul. Anyway is just ‘erbal cigarette.

Are you allowed to smoke in here?

Dave, you gotta chill mon. Is only erbal and beside Babylon not coming round ere! Now dis bycical ting, I can do for you.

Fine! I’ll pay whatever you want, we might even be able to work it into the election campaign. But the little blood clot who half inched it has to do time!

Dave, Dave, all this talk of Babylon wearin me down, mon. You send im off to Babylon e come back, batty man, twice as bad. No we get you bycicle ting back and you don ask we don tell. In de Tory party everytin black and white! Maybe not black an white but you know what a mean. In de real world there are shades of grey.

Ok Samuel, I look forward to getting it back.

No problem Dave, just as soon as I an I is Secretary of State for Justice!