Legacy Polishing

An office somewhere in Los Angeles. Two men in grey suits are discussing casting a film.

So. I see Tom Hanks as the best bet for Martin. He is the man! A session with the voice coach, what’s her name, Roisin, Rose Roslyn? Anyway, give him the ginger rinse and the curlers and he is the man!

What about Jerry?

Gerry you mean, well, it’s got to be Tommy.

Hell no! That Texan; never cut it in the Bogside.

Who gives a f**k about the Bogside we’re thinking about Boston.What’s Senator Ted gonna say if we have some shit kicking britisher that no one can understant. This is a huge part, emotionally, intellectually, philosophically and fiscally.

OK!

You know we are just playing around the big one.

Yea I know!

So. You show me yours and I’ll show you mine?

I’d go for Gandolfino. He’s big, he’s irrational, he scares the sh*t out of everyone and ….

He’s a godamn f**k**g catholic. Are you trying to get me tarred and feathered?

Ian’s mellowed. His wife is a Baroness for god’s sake, they’re practically Ulster Royalty. You never heard the Act of Emaciation?

I don’t think so. I know you want Javier Bardem for Thatcher, that’s gotta be real inspired with the hair an’ all, and Meryl Streep for Blair, she’s got the cojones. Do you see any kind of kinky action here?

We are getting away from it. This could be big and I could live with that but you have to go with me for this one.

Hit me!

I think Forest Whitaker is the peach!

Yeah, and the title?

The Abominable No Man!