Rock of Ages

Two men sit in a bunker somewhere underneath Whitehall.

Fu….g TNT!

Christ Gordon where?

No you bampot. No the explosive, the so called fu….g ‘ Logistics Facilitator’

Oh thank God for that!

It’s god actually in here Tony. You’re a wee bit twitchy since you came back from Palistan or wherever it is.

You’ve no idea, Gordon. It’s like surfing on sewage full of land mines.

Well that must be a new experience for you.

Ok, ok I can live without Mr Sarky. Ms Manzanilla is bad enough. Anyway how about some devil’s buttermilk as the Baroness would say.

Right I’ll get one of the little people to rustle up a few bottles of Glenn Miller.

Glenn Miller?

Disappeared into the wide blue yonder just like those disks.

Yes, I heard about that. Did I tell you I met this guy in Gaza, great sense of humour, dreadful personal hygiene, said he had leads on 25 million potential terrorists, two generations worth, convenient format, can play on any i-Pod; are you interested?

No thanks Tone, no just at the minute. Here we are. Give us your glass. I must say I’m impressed at the cellar in this place since I took over.

Yes lots of good vino and such; quite a few bodies as well, if I remember correctly, Ha! Ha!

Speaking of which have you seen La Mandleson. Are you sure he’s not wearing a syrup these days along with the pallor of the recently undead?

Now Gordon!

Ok Tone, just can’t resist it. It’s ma flawed nature te he he….

You’re right Godron, it is good stuff this Glenn Miller. God bless him wherever he is.

Ok Tone, I’ll give you the capitalisation at the beginning of a sentence.

Speaking of which, Godron, I don’t suppose there is any chance of slipping me the date of the nationalisation of the Old Rock! You know, Rock of Ages cleft for me for a slightly higher fee! Ms Manzawhatsit is whinging about the lack of the old spondoolicks in the communal kitty, meow, meow!

No chance Tone! We have to be squeaky clean. Jings, Rock of Ages, you are shome pieceh of work Tone you know that. Iztha two bottlesh already.

Yezz! I haven’t laughed so much sinceh the old queen died!

Yesh Tone! But which one?

Now Godron!