The End is Nighish

Do I think that Rubberman and Gideon are heading for the taxi?
Yes.
Is it because they have reneged on the social contract?
Is it because they have lined up cuts that will alienate their voting base?
Is it because they have reduced taxes for their millionaire mates?
Is it because they have bleated ineffectively about tax avoidance?
Is it because they have tasered productive industry?
Is it because they have allowed big finance to run riot?

Possibly, but once someone states that -

You cannot run a modern sophisticated economy the way you run a tuck shop at Eaton*

describing your 2 plus years of government, you have reached the John Major underpants moment.

All Your Big Society - Dave - Belong Our Cones Hotline!

* Jimmy McGovern, Observer Magazine 5/8/12

Mind, Memory and Creativity

Be careful what you save it may come to haunt you!

I had a spare moment to plough through the instapaper list that I keep and that keeps nagging away at my tool bar.
I came across a reference to the obit of Mary Fedden in the Grauniad. 
I'm sure I marked this because of the picture that appeared with it, but if I am honest I can't think why. However, the Feather and Two Stones sparked a train of thought along the lines of:-

The birds have had a hard spring and early summer. Some of the blackbirds are wandering around the garden  in a daze;  bedraggled  and with feathers hanging out. I'm sure if I was a twitcher I would be able to explain it. The weather, the cats, the overpopulation due to St Claire feeding everything in sight, twice a day, I've no idea. But we do see a lot of feathers! it would be nice to record some of the patterns and colours. And the flutterbyes, don't start me off on the mariposal road! 

I was enjoying this thought going down the list of links when I saw one to The Painting Fool. God knows how or why it got there but it did and I thought - apposite - to say the least! Not bad for a bit of old code. But then aren't we all just a bit of old code? Soft, squishy and set in lumps of carbon that evolved for a few billion years but there you go; can't say fairer than that. Have a look yourself and see what you think!

Upgrade Now!

Buddhist Pizza Software is pleased to announce an upgrade to its acclaimed Tanka Town operating system. The fix new release (TT 17.75) will be known as Snowyleopardz and will offer truly amazing functionality, an unbelievable range of built in applications, and mouthwateringly good code design nestling behind the usual propitiatory firewalls.

Best of all it's going to squeeze gazillions more in juice outa you lemonheads who don't know sh*t from Shinola.

Can someone do a final edit on this before it goes out to the  creative fruitcakes?

Gombeen Men

I watched Bob Diamond being 'grilled' by the Treasury select committee yesterday. I'm sure in the rough, tough, macho world of fearless reporting words like grilled are used in the belief that they convey the full heft and majesty of one of the organs of our democratic assembly relentlessly seeking the truth. Not so, I was reminded of someone being savaged by a dead sheep which, I believe, is an image conjured before. As far as applying intense heat to a lump of meat in order to soften and produce a more acceptable dish, I saw no evidence. Rather, I saw Diamond Bob working on his very elegant tan, breaking off from time to time to ask the committee members to rub a little more of the 20million into his shoulders. That winsome, boyish smile, that little movement with the lips to reveal a pleasing toothy grin, how could anyone doubt his sincerity, his dignity, his integrity.

And we are going to have a Parliamentary Enquiry?

Remember it is your money that the bu**er is walking away with.
If he was a rioter who had stolen water he would be in some interview room down Tottenham Nick with Inspector Knacker having the full panoply of the law applied to his soft and squashy bits.

(Such anger in one so young and so early in the morning. You haven't had your breakfast have you? Now you know the importance of the inner man, keep the bag filled and stay off the red meat or we will be making another appearance by popular demand in A&E...Ed)

Mr Turing's musical conundrum

The Grauniad has a nice little test.
5 pieces of music, one of which was generated by that Hank Marvin Android in the corner.
Can you tell which one?
I couldn't!

So Naughty!

The link below gives a Grauniad headline
Europe's divided leaders grope for summit breakthrough

That's the difference then - the current bun would have had

I feel a right tit whispers horny Iti Monti!

We're doomt I telt ye, doomt!

(For god sake get that man a cup of tea or he'll be wailing all night!...Ed)

Shake Hands.

A Brief and Private Encounter.
A man sits gazing out of a long window as he has many times before. The lawns in front of him are manicured and watered to within an inch of their lives. There is an empty chair set next to his and something suggests that it has been occupied  convivially many times before. The comfort of the chairs, their proximity and relative angle suggests regular use even if the fabric and stuffing do not.

The door to the room opens without the formality of a knock and a small woman heads for the occupant of the chair in a business like manner but without haste. The size of the room gives the man ample time to rise and put on a warm and generally welcoming smile. The woman does not extend her hand but addresses the man in a clipt and slightly tremulous voice.

I suppose I should call you Mr Chuckles. How is Ian by the way?

Big Ian is fine, preparing himself for the final shock when he discovers that Jesus is a Catholic, just like the Pope! I'll call you Brenda rather than Mam, unless you wold prefer the Gaelic?

The twinkle in her eye and the gear change in his smile suggest that ice has been broken.

They shake hands and Mr Chuckles offers a drink. Brenda suggests a Dubonnet with a little stiffner.
She takes the second seat and a large glass is offered. Mr Chuckles pours himself another cup of tea and joins her.
They sit in almost  companionable silence. The man askes her if she has travelled far. She snorts in genuine amusement.

Oh yes Mr Chuckles, I have come a long way!

Concert Parties

Watched the start of the Big Noise concert. Thirsty Work was interviewing the Head? of El Sistema (Scotland);
'El' Sistema, yes we have a lot to thank the Greeks for. There was also a wifey from Raploch with a kid in the band. The 'Head' had  a chin that could cut through 6inch steel obviously on the way up the greasy arts pole in Scotland, maybe I do her a dis-service. The wifey was 4 square solid with an open face and a hesitant air. Not used to speaking out on The Box I'm  sure, but I felt that she was being straight with enthusiasm for the band and the effect on her child. Thirsty did a good job, not patronising, well not too much anyway. Then they played Purcell's Abdelazer. It was a life affirming blast. We were told that kids as young 6 were performing. They weren't just performing they were living and having fun and making music in addition to whatever else they felt. Review here

    As Richard Holloway, chair of Sistema Scotland, acknowledges:
     "This will only mean something if it's peppering the whole country."

Rather, what this means is that a community has been able to come together for a cultural event which their members have taken a worthy and proud part. Who knows but hopefully some may be infected with the bug to do things. Music, community, economic activity and government  for themselves.  Heaven forfend!

Which led me to think about  The Concert by Vermeer. It was stolen - Details of the picture and note of its theft here -

No sign of it since. Was it taken for ransom? No clearly established genuine demands? Was it used by Crims in US for collateral for drug deals? Was it a feather bed, get out of jail card, which has not been used so far. Were the IRA involved? Has it been destroyed? Lots of interesting ideas and hypotheses but very little information.

I have a conceit.  Although the idea of a Flemming Villain wrapped in ecstasy, stroking a cat as he contemplates this work of art has long been debunked, what would you do if you suddenly found your birthday present wrapped in the sodding painting. Claim the insurance or try and flog it down Islington?

What if you stuck it in a chaepo frame, nailed it to the wall above the imitation coal fire and complained loudly to family and friends that the 50 sovs you paid for it down the Old Kent Rd was a diabolical liberty and you can swear that the thing was painted over a copy of the Chinese Girl with the eyes that follow you round the room in strong sunlight which is why you keep the curtains closed!

The Reagan Defense

The Reagan Defense must rank with the Sicilian as giving the guys with the black hats a chance.
Hey! I don't remember!

I've just seen, en passant, Dave at the Levenson. M'Lord Justice's 'wally dug' has been savaging Dave's ankles over what may be described as 'instances of hospitality' involving the Dirty Digger and his evil empire.
Dave has deployed the Reagan Defense to great effect.

Darn't remember yeronner!

One might regard this as a terminological inexactitude if it was not for the episode reported earlier this week of the child that got left behind.

How many is it now Sam, two... three?

(Didn't Tartakower give O'Kelly a run for his money with the Sicilian in '46?...Ed
To be honest I don't remember and besides strong drink may have been taken!)

Portraits of Edingurgh

A recent visit to The Scottish National Portrait Gallery gave me a  a 'queer turn' and no mistake.  There was Peter Higgs looking as if he had been attacked by a Hamiltonian Operator. Nice one Lucinda?!
Hunting the Higgs. A worthy quest? Yes but not the most interesting question. What is that pray? Well my GUT feeling is that the guys working on a path to unite Gravity and Quantum Mechanics are at the theoretical coalface. You can see them can't you. Physicists in white coveralls, hard hats emblazoned with Quantum Mechanic. Tunneling in the theoretical depths of an energy well with diamond tipped wave functions. On the other side a team of Gravititions suited up to protect against Cherenkov radiation, again with hard hats bearing the words 'Gravity doesn't suck!'


For a more erudite and subtle flavour of the question, on the way we pursue progress, in physics at least, see Carlo Rovelli's thoughts

We are very far from the final theory of the world, in my field, in physics, I think extremely far. Every hope of saying, well we are almost there, we've solved all the problems, is nonsense. And we are very wrong when we discard the value of theories like quantum mechanics, general relativity or special relativity, for that matter. And throw them away, trying something else randomly. On the basis of what we know, we should learn something more, and at the same time we should somehow take our vision for what it is, a vision that is the best vision that we have, but then continuous evolving the vision.

All abaat strings and loops init?
(I just knew they would let that fellow in again, and Bloomsday around the corner...Ed)

No Child Left Behind!

So Dave a little careless with your own children. Pity about those of the great unwashed.
I'm sure there will be much merriment at your expense. Thank heavens no child was hurt in the escapade.

Might it be a little cynical to suggest that it was a good example of what a normal millionaire you are and how your multimillionaire wife is not only good lookin', well dressed for every occasion but, duurh, a little forgetful as well.  Close personal protection a bit laid back at the old Dog and Duck? Still, let it be known that you and Sam have made a, tax relieved bung, to the NSPCC, Alzheimers, the Lifeboats or whatever and you could go up in the nations affections!

While we are sitting in judgement I repeat the link to a Mr Cooder who spotted the reluctance to exclude bankers as a class of persons from the trough! Real inclusion:- no banker left behind.

Night all and hey, be careful out there!

Growing Rainbows?

Taken at Lea Gardens

As You Are Now So I Will Be

I find myself using the backs of envelopes (not fag packets), the blank side of paper, letters, advertising, printing in rough and so on. It makes me think of an elderly, fiercely intelligent monk that taught us applied maths more years ago than I care to remember and so many years ago that I can't remember his name. We were a group of three, and sat mesmerized as he worked his way through examples, explanations and problems, detailing each on the inside of an envelope which had been opened carefully to use the blank space. He produced these as if from an endless supply in the pockets of his somewhat threadbare habit. Questions produced but a moments reflection through pebble thick glasses, a few fish like gulps and the solution would be set out on the scrap paper, clearly, logically and with a straightforward commentary.   Given that we were fairly thick and the sessions lasted two hours I think we half expected him to run out. We would have the joy of seeing him tug at his socks to try and find more scrap paper. It may be that we considered handing in homework on such stationery or maybe that is the conceit of a false memory. I do remember his gentle manner, his brogue and the fact that the rest of the community regarded him as, well, completely bats.

Anyway, here is a wee picture of another little treasure.


Early Purple Orchid since you ask!

Julibee

Our Queen is a True British Sailor

Is the Duke of Edinburgh still the highest Peer in the land?

Nuff said!

Jeux

Holidays can be such fun-

A bit of a fish out of water to begin with.

But we had a whale of a time

To play chess arrange your castles at each side of the beach!

But I am the king of the castle.

Time for painting

Such a busy bee.

And so to bed!

Dersu Uzala

Went to the pics to see Dersu Uzala by Akira Kurosawa (1975, 70mm print Mosfilm, Sovcolor!)
Described by Philip French, who knows a thing or two about Filums, as

 an elegiac film of great visual and spiritual beauty

The print wasn't that good and for today's audience it must seem a little slow, 2hr. 40m.
Since the audience had an average age of 72 it didn't seem to matter much.
An afternoon of real, contemplative, pleasure.

I'm sorry I'll wake up now.

Sightlines

 

Lines of Sight

Book of the Week from Monday 23 April is an abridged reading of Sightlines by Kathleen Jamie. Very enjoyable. Views of 'nature taking its course'

The Pathologist with empathy   "Ooh what a shame" a one woman Greek Chorus.

Killer whales going around in family groups - young males with their mums!

We have sailed

In the beginning we were without sail
then :-

And so to bed.

Sailing By

Shy and retiring

Never mind about the open necked shirt;  20 years without a proper job came to an end  yesterday with a suitably small celebration. My eye was taken by a card bearing the caption "Stuff Work" showing 3 individuals suitably dressed for the beach circa 1920, jumping in the air for joy or whatever. It was in our local Oxfam secondhand bookshop. As the Catholics would say: - a dangerous occasion of sin. Luckily we escaped with the family coffers reduced by less than £10. I bought Absolution by Olaf Olafsson as a treat because he appears in an interview used for teaching by herself. I could see it was desired along with the 2 Scandithrillers that she purchased for serious cash money!

Shadow work.
An idea used by Ivan Illich, in his 1981 book.

I shall continue as a shadow worker!
(Ah get on with you. Any excuse to sit on your fat backside philosophising, with the parsnips unbuttered, the dishes in
the sink and more maunderings per square foot than that man McGonagall...Ed)

A Fortune Made in Haven

Let me make it clear, Buddhist Pizza does not snigger, neither does he indulge in any of the childish, mean minded, low spirited, delights of schadenfreude. However, the muesli was spread explosively around the breakfast table this morning at the Grauniad's headline Cameron family fortune made in tax havens.

To be caught with one's trousers down is one thing, to be caught displaying so little is another.  A fortune of £2.74 million is hardly worth getting out of bed for these days,  and a bequest of £300,000? Well really, what would Gideon say?

It could be of course that the Old Pater, Ian of that ilk, had a very shrewd tax wallah, heaven forfend.
I wonder if we could find out who he works for.

I did enjoy the reference to the ancestral pile, Blairmore (I kid you not) sadly  believed to be in the family no more.

(Stop sniggering man! It's very unbecoming... Ed)

A Little Light Music

John Naughton has had a few posts recently concerning light, you can view one such here, and you can see  his photography in this link.

I was really sparked by a video on his blog. A demonstration that we see so little and there is so much! 

Questions, Questions

And now the question you have all been waiting for!
Is there a black hole at the centre of every galaxy?
Possibly...

Meanwhile back on planet earth a tale of the "black-collar class" known in the  Buddhist Pizza Pagoda of Heavenly Peace 22b Baker St. as

"The case of the candidate member, his wife, her son, the lover (who's lover...Ed?) and the Central Commission for Discipline Inspection, probably the cook, the crook and the CIA as well" 

rumbles on. Any similarity with the suspension of Bo Xilai  from the party over the alleged murder of Neil Heywood is by chance and chance alone.

How fortunate, how very fortunate that I am reading The Shanghai Gang a chapter in The Party by Richard McGregor.
I would, otherwise, have my head filled with wrong thoughts, lies and corruptions from the capitalist running dogs.

(Final question, why are capitalist dogs always running...Ed?
Because they are like noses!)

Wealth of Nations?

John Naughton has a link to a very clear description,a 'cartoon assisted' video, of how to make money in America.
By turns it is amusing, informing, enraging and dispiriting. The little people at the end have such sad confused looks on their faces. Arise ye starvelings.

Grown up cartoonary seems to be a very powerful instructional and polemical device. I've seen it used to great effect recently.

Drouthy, Very Drouthy

It's been hell out here Gideon, you have no idea what life is like for the little people.
First there was the hosepipe ban.
Then there was the petrol shortage.
And now, sob, even the bloody Belgians are lamenting the desertification of Mid Suffolk.

Finally the worst; this sign seen in the, empty, car park of our local.

The Party's Not Over

It being a cold, wet, miserable, Easter I settled down,  reading The Party: The Secret World of China's Communist Rulers by Richard McGregor.

Fascinating stuff. Not just for all the old chestnuts about 99% of the human race being Chinese and how the GDP of China  will be twice that of the world in 2013, and that they use more 'water', 'energy', 'resources', per capita in a second than a drunken sailor in a cheap hotel over a bank holiday weekend.

The power of the party, the way it penetrates society, the way it has hung onto control in a period of very rapid political, cultural and economic change is remarkable. Things definitely got wobbly in the cultural revolution and again around the  Tiananmen Square massacre in 1989 but, as always, the Party came up smelling of burnt almonds.

Two things struck me by page 21:

- most of the politburo are engineers by background and many of them have real jobs as well,
- the Party does not seem to have a website ( must check that).

I love the idea of "leading small groups". I certainly went off on one when that appeared on the page. It's a pity they didn't name them small leading groups (watch it...Ed!)

No sign yet, in any detail, of the The People's Liberation Army (PLA) for which much thanks. You would not want those guys parking their tanks on your lawn, or town square perhaps.

Must go and check the interweb site thingy for the CP of the PRC.
What's that noise? Sounds like a number of very large, badly tuned diesel engines!

Headhunting

O Lord what a violent world we live in, even in our fiction. Scandicrime has had a hold on our family reading and viewing for some time so that it was inevitable that we would head for the 'Pea Flit' for a screening of the Headhunter based on a Jo Nesbo 'thriller' at some point. I don't want to give too much away but was struck by the filmic cracker of the 'hero' caught with his gun in his kecks and a crazed, spurned, woman of murderous intent wielding the biggest, sharpest, kitchen knife it is legal to posses. She is clearly set on performing butchery on his carcass without the benefit of death, initially.  Of course, he sticks his hand down his pants produces what looks like a pretty deadly erection and just manages to kill his assailant before she plunges the samurai Sabatier into his heart. Needless to say, she ends up dead sprawled on top of him in a somewhat suggestive position.
There was a clear teeing up of the line:-

There's a gun in my pants and I'm not pleased to see you!

The moment passed.

How pleasant after this to return home, the fire out, the kettle boiling and a good prawn curry cooked to perfection by Lady BP.
We also had the joy, later, of watching death in much warmer climes with Inspector Montepulciano - based on the Andrea Camilleri series.

All good stuff!

A Gallamite

A certain Mr Galloway has been in the news recently. A  self proclaimed tidal wave of democracy about to break over our benighted shores? Up to a point George Copper, up to a point!

I saw, in the many comments about the event, said Gorgeous George described as a Saddamite. A tad unfair?  I would describe him as a Gallamite:- the friend of a Sadammite -  as you could say.

Apologies  to the Inky Fool who does this sort of thing much better with real words.

Affirmative Authentication

We do tend to assert  that which confirms our views, philosophy, judgements, eternal verities. We are less interested in the counter argument and evidence. Twas ever thus and will be so.

An interesting take on the volume of information now deployed and able to be deployed to support a particular position in a review by Brain Pickins of The information Diet by Clay Johnson.

I particularly like

"the industrialization of information, arguing that blaming the abundance of information itself is as absurd as blaming the abundance of food for obesity."

and

Force-feeding the public Hollywood’s entertainment lard.

Who wants to hear the truth when you can hear that you are right?
Although it cuts both ways. If we have the tools and the ability we can use the data to build strong cases. Otherwise we can just hose  the unbeliever with facts, lashings of facts, until they sink in the data mire!

A Happy Hand Ha Blessed Heaster to you Hall!

Philosophy and Drink!

John Naughton in The Observer (1/4/2012) complains, a little, about a certain Mr Heidegger.
His not unreasonable grumble reminded me of Freddie Jevons, who had the privilege to teach me at postgraduate level in the (19) seventies. Yes I am that old. Freddie used to complain in his highly polished mittle european accent that " Philosophers are only paid to argue vith each osser!" 

Amen to that Freddie old son!

That reminded me of Monty Python's  Philosopher's Song. Not a yearning lieder for truth or beauty, nor yet a cantata for clarity in language or even a lament for logic, more about booze. It is alleged that Mr Heidegger was a boozy  beggar who could think you under the table and as for Mr Kant, a real puisant,  it is claimed that he was very rarely stable!
A whiff of M. Descartes position, philosophically speaking, can be judged from the claim attributed to him, without prejudice of course, that  "I drink therefore I am."
This may be relevant for April the 1st or not; you may judge for yourself at the link here.

So if you value your brain and your liver, give up the philosophy as well as the booze!

Many thanks to our Correspondent from Oz who pointed out the ditty to me originally

We're Doomed I Telt Ye, Doomed!

Old BP's country lore:- 96 in a series.

They do say a black fox has been sighted in these parts. The legend is very clear, my dears. We are going to hexperience some dreadful times. Plague, famine, war, Gideon's Budget, terrible though they are, will all seem like a calm benefice compared to what lies ahead. The Fox was killed. Expect to see bakers marching in the streets waving French bread, investment bankers having to live on their salaries, the top 0.01 per cent of the population leaving for tax havens in droves, Germans being smuggled into the country in petrol cans.
I tell ee, it is very close to the end times!

Waiting for Gideon

A trip to Diss and despite the lack of JB and Mrs Wilson it was bliss!
At least the weather was fine. A miasma of fish and chips hung on the spring air.
On a corner, in numbers, was a menacing group of grey power activists.

Waiting for Gideon? He is likely to get a good kicking if he shows his pension taxing face here.

Interesting place Diss. Tend to do things the way they want.

No reason why they shouldn't. I was glad to avail myself of the seat and noticed that the brass plate was dedicated to the builders who sponsored the bench. I have no knowledge concerning its installation.

Homer's Willy

No doubt being the recondite bunch that you are you will all (6 on average...Ed?) be familiar with Chapman's Homer or even, for the followers of the Little Horses, Chapman's homer.
Well it gets worse. Mr Forsyth, The Inky Fool, has a discussion of the origin of the name of Troy based on an article in the London Review of Books. He then spoils the whole tone of the matter by claiming

... it gives me such puerile pleasure that I thought I should reproduce it here so that you, dear reader, can snigger.

You will not get that kind of cheapskate faux intellectual bollix here, scholarship and integrity, accept no substitute!
It's no use perorating about polyphloisboia  or even in a polyphloisboian manner. The damage is done.
(There, there, don't upset yourself. You know the cardiologist warned against that. Away and have your rashers and tea, lashings of tea... Ed!)

Embrace Political Stability

Our Great Horseperson, The Sun reader in our hearts has, with Comrade Gideon, produced a 5 year financial plan. Rejoice!
Each journey, no matter how long, begins with one small step. We are about to set out on an economic adventure which, in less enlightened times, would be called a miracle!
There may be Socialist Roaders, grey power revisionists, even enobled comrades who have given in to the crime of Tebbitism who wish to take the broad mass of the people to depths of socialist depravity. Do not let them tempt you with promises of a return to the horror of keynesian growth. Tax and spend is the road to ruin.

Ithankyouandgoodnight.

Spring is Here

Blossom Forth

Algo Wars :- Life at the Planck Length

I read the article by Donald MacKenzie, How to Make Money in Microseconds: Algo-Sniffing ( in the LRB 19 May 2011) again recently after watching the TED video by Kevin Slavin: How algorithms shape our world
I see the Algo Wars as part of the general carnage unfettered capitalism can produce. Interesting, therefore that the cosmological speed limit (300,000 km/s less change) figures in the calculations of once and future masters of the universe. How long before the fabric of space-time constrains the ability to make money from making money? I don’t suppose the markets are going to be worried about the Plank Length for some time to come.

It did get me thinking. Perhaps we should redefine ‘thickness’ in terms of 3 Plancks with a banker's clog on!

The Bullingdon Budget

I'm sure Gideon will not let his friends down. May I wish you all a very prosperous new (tax) year.
To welcome it in you could  do worse than listen to

No Banker Left Behind by Ry Cooder on the album: Pull Up Some Dust and Sit Down

but it may not be to your taste!

One that nearly got away.

I become a caricature of myself. I could have sworn I put this link somewhere safe after 2 or 3 people included me in their loops!
I'm sure I'll find it one day at the bottom of a list of bookmarks, the electrons slightly moldy and the  HTML somewhat arcane and charming. However, the Interweb being what it is I was able to summon forth like Gabriel or was it Gladriel?  Anyway, for those who care, Cultural Equity have an online archive of the work of Alan Lomax  here.

Mr Wikipedia holds that 

Alan Lomax (January 31, 1915 – July 19, 2002) was an American folklorist and ethnomusicologist. He was one of the great field collectors of folk music of the 20th century, recording thousands of songs in the United States, Scotland, England, Ireland, the Caribbean, Italy, and Spain.

They have digitised a lot of the  fields he collected and it is possible to get lost in them, pleasantly.
Storing fields must have been murder before digitisation! (Enough or I am sure some of your regular readers will have you planted in one of them...Ed!)

Unseasonably Warm?

I have always enjoyed a rousing speech and seeing those with the ability stick it to the men!
4 minutes of this and you could be forgiven for asking Mewt What? Nitt Who? Why would anyone want a tea party in a Sanatorium?

How glad I am that there is no chance of our own dear leader Mr Millipede rocking them in the isles with a good dose of that old fashioned religion!

Thanks to Mr Naughton for the link.
(Weren't you the one complaining not so long ago about the rhetorical diseases...Ed?)

Laddies who Lunch

Must  check calendar, Pancake Tuesday, Ash Wednesday; not April the first.
Gauleiter Pickles emerges from Pickles Towers with another big idea.
The Big Lunch.
Too easy, open goal, Jonny Wilkinson in the pocket 15 metres in front of the posts, a man with his wallet open repeatedly pleading Help yourself! Help yourself! 
Dear god; they just keep him hanging around so they can wheel him out in a handcart when some light relief is needed!
(That was  vicious, unnecessary, sizeist, offensive to the man with a fuller figure and a gratuitous pun the like of which I have not come across in editing nearly six years of this rubbish! ....Ed)

Some of my best friends are trees

At a time of such human slaughter it seems perverse to worry about the death of a tree. Rachel Sussman has a sad tale about the death of an old tree and some interesting musings on age and impermanency from the ever stimulating Brain Pickings.
She has documented some old codgers in her time, yes even older than myself. It's worth reading in full.
For our regular readers  with little time on their hands :-

... the Senator,[ the name of the burned 'bush'] there is a glimmering chance at a second life: clippings from the tree were taken years ago and successfully propagated in a nursery. The resulting trees are now 40 feet tall, and could ostensibly be transplanted into the very spot after a long and careful root-stabilization process. There are also seedlings at its base that, with a little paternity testing, could prove to be its clones rather than its progeny, or perhaps some new growth will be forced from the existing root system stimulated by the stress of the fire.

Lookin Up

(No relation)

A Little Perspective

To paraphrase Peter Cook -
Twitter has done so much to prevent the massacre of civilians in Syria!

Forbidden Apples

Don't you just love capitalism?
Who's been taking a bite out of those little green apples?
Meanwhile something hot and steamy in the Caribbean in connection with a Mr Cashcroft's (?) banking facilities.
I'm glad Buddhist Pizza Inc got its bonuses in early, away from the glare of the anti capitalist spotlight.
I know a boutique bank  in Waziristan. The manager is so helpful on these occasions and it is so far for the wrong type of financial journalists to go! (Discrete Inquiries through the usual channels please!)

eBooks Naa!

See, they'll never catch on. I mean who wants to sit in front of  a screen and look at this kind of thing.

The Waste Land; you said it. Who is that broad? She looks pretty wasted to me, ha ha!

Periodic table:-
Its not a table, and where do I put my coffee, period?

Code this, code that, is this guy some kind a communist?

A Late Entry to the Oscars

Once upon a time in a land far, far away we lived and worked. We were happy!
But, boy, don't young folk know how to enjoy themselves  now!
Take the time to enjoy this, it will certainly brighten your day, you may need it.

Full disclosure:- some or all of these people may be known or related to me or related parties.
(What in god's name does that mean...Ed?)

Book Data

Sunday afternoons in January when the garden can look after itself and you don't have a dog to take for a walk you are looking for an intellectual challenge. You can always plot the fall of capitalism or chart the rise of peace and justice.

Click on the graphs and all will be revealed!

Nice little gizmo from Google Books - The Ngram Viewer

Thanks to:-
Jean-Baptiste Michel*, Yuan Kui Shen, Aviva Presser Aiden, Adrian Veres, Matthew K. Gray, The Google Books Team, Joseph P. Pickett, Dale Hoiberg, Dan Clancy, Peter Norvig, Jon Orwant, Steven Pinker, Martin A. Nowak, and Erez Lieberman Aiden*. Quantitative analysis of culture using millions of digitized books. Science. Published Online Ahead of Print: 12/16/2010.

iObesity

Brain Pickings blogs about the Information Diet by Clay A Johnson - Website here.
One for the List, I think.
It got me to think about books, ideas, morality, mortality(easily confused when you are approaching the OAP first payment. Four months since you ask)
I have an ever growing pile of books that I can access from my bed, in extremis. Last acquisition The Night Train to Lisbon 30p was rescued from the for sale trolley at Suffolk Libraries. I always feel virtuous about this as I know that my enlightened local authority may burn so called 'surplus' books when it thinks it can but will probably torture them first (breaking their spines and pulling out indices with pliers, shudder!) Maybe I can set up an underground railway to rescue the poor volumes.
Libertransport.

I am also acquiring electrons that I can read on my devices with free software!
I have a project to read Ulysees again.  ( By Jimmy Joyce. I feel the need to specify as Lady BP and I had a rather confused conversation about this the other day at the table when she enquired as to why I had developed this sudden interest in the Greek classical works as well as the Greek economy!) I can at the same time listen to an audio version. I think this would be interesting Lady BP thinks I'm mad

My Read Later subscription  gets longer and longer.

However, in such projects and acquisitions dead trees, electrons, reading lists and good intentions there is a specter. A friend and colleague, not usually gloomy, confessed that she had done the math and assuming an average life expectancy (I would wish her more) there was a figure you could compute reading on average volumes a year as to the maximum number you could get through before you popped your library ticket!

Hmmm... Maybe I need to think about my Information Diet.

A Boat for Brenda

Mickey Gove, what a caution, not a twelvemonth in long trousers and heading for the Marie Antoinette haircut!
What is he smoking?
Rubber Man and the Cleggster  seem to be sensibly unimpressed. But wait a minute, given Brenda's age and social background who would be Captain Pugwash?
Right then HMS Wingnut it is.

Bloomin Gorse

Lovely day at Weston Fen. The sun shining, the gorse bloomin.
Who said January is dreek and miserable.
Don't believe me - here's a wee picture I did on the old magi phone?

David Hockney eat your heart out!
(Ed. May I remind you that Mr Hockney has years of experience, immense skill and expertise and is currently enjoying a very successful exhibition at the Royal Academy :- A Bigger Picture.)
You just happened to forget to mention that he was from Yorkshire.

The Birds

Ok so here's the deal. You pay at the meter and we don't cr*p on your car!

All your parkin space belong us.

If only politicians were so honest.

****ed Off

Do you ever get **s*ed off with social media?
Memex 1.1 explains all.

Happy Fines

The Pinkun' (FT January 12, 2012 9:55 pm SFO targets criminal company dividends.)  reports that Inspector Knacker has felt the collar of Mabey Engineering Holding to the tune of £131,201. (No, I'm not suggesting bribery and corruption at the SFO!) This is claimed to be the dividend paid by Mabey & Johnson,  which has previously admitted to corruption. According to the FT, it is the first time the boys in pinstripe have tried to recover proceeds of crime from UK dividends.
Small Beer - Large Brewery!

Allo, Allo, Allo!
Mr Buddhist Pizza would you mind explaining this item on your bank statement?
"Payment via Banco Cayenne of dividend by Narcotraficantes Colombia SSA - $1,000,000.01"

Err, not without assistance from my financial and legal advisors.
(Note to Ed. Who let those jackbooted, pinstriped, storm troopers in? I mean pink silk ties and red braces!)

Dead Trees and Electrons

Books again and a confession.
I've read The Inky Fool with enjoyment for some time. I  heard The Etymologicon, read well by Hugh Dennis, as Aunty's Book of the Week before Xmas. I thought it would be a good thing to have to distract me from the horrors of the new year.  I decided to purchase it from Mr Amazon for the free Kindle software on my magi-phone. In mitigation, I was very busy, mainly hiding to avoid the Xmas spirit, and people, and presents and ... 
I thought it would be very discrete, very cheap and almost educational.
The transaction from clicking my clicker to the book appearing on my magi-phone was over in the twinkling of an electron. I was terrified, suffering sever palpitations I had to sit down. I called for tea! Soon I was able to revive myself with a cup of the finest fair trade char and marvel at  the book there on my magi-phone.
Interesting to learn that the sellers of the dead tree variety can't get enough of them. There would seem to be no shortage of electrons, yet.

Books do have a life of their own!

Ever wondered why you can't find that book?

The answer is here courtesy of Brain Pickings. Watch the video demonstration full screen on You Tube!

Equality and Power by R V Sampson

Where did I put it?

Whoa!

To coin a phrase!
Missed this one - Bitcoin

More here and before you get as excited as I did Charles Arthur has the wet-blanket handy.
Still, nice idea. Having just read DarkMarket by Misha Glenny it may be some time before Buddhist Pizza announces the adoption of Bitcoin as the official currency.
Not until the penny drops!

Perception

If I hadn't not seen it I would not have believed it.
Prof Bruce Hood is giving the Royal Institution Xmas Lectures. Great fun. Even in a set of programmes about the brain there are lots of bangs and excitement.  The throw away lines are good too. Can I have my brain back please?
We have sat enthralled on the sofa like the kids we are and tried our best to participate. Last night we were asked to count the number of times 2 orange clubs passed between the members of a juggling team of 4 who were using 8 clubs in total. We concentrated; we counted. When we were asked at the end how many times the for orange clubs passed across the lecture floor some of us  punched the air with glee and shouted the correct number of 24. (I recognise my inner 7 year old pendejo)
Asked if we had seen anything else, we shrugged, we got a particularly bad feeling. Prof Hood had taken his coat off, didn't see that one; some props on the lecture floor had been moved, nope.
Had we seen the man in the gorilla suit walk across the back of the lecture floor?

The video replay clearly shows a Mr Yeti not only walking slowly across the floor but stopping to look at us. You know I swear the bugger winked!

Resolution

That time of year folks. Get the pen and paper out, or the tablets!
Short of inspiration for what to do? The late Mr Guthrie had a few ideas, allegedly!

No. 5 Take Bath.

Yep! Tried it last year, wasn't bad.
Might do it again this year.

Many thanks to Brain Pickings.

Wearing out books

In the age of electronica it seems strange to think that if you love a book, a real live book, and want to hold it in your hands you have to go out and buy a new one when you wear it out. We have got through at least one copy of Jane Grigson's Fish Cookery. Currently we have a copy of her hardback Fish Book. We both accept it is only a matter of time before we need to replace it! We were trawling through it, planning xmas meals over our boily eggs, and came across a little gem (under Lobster and Crawfish p 207 in the Fish Book):-

A fourteenth-century German painter, Master Bertram, who lived at Hamburg and should therefore have known better, included a ready-boiled lobster in his painting of God creating the animals.

Note from deity to central catering - I'll have this one later for my tea on Sunday after a lie in!

No fish or fowl this xmas, since you ask.

Dog-whistle Blowing

I have been conscious recently, partly because of my super-power hearing, of an enormous number of dog-whistles being blown. In the interest of brevity I leave you to select your favourite examples. However, Buddhist Pizza Inc. our parent company, registered, as you know, in the canine islands is pleased to offer the following service.
Dog-whistle blowing.
Should you wish to blow a dog-whistle but be of a nervous disposition or in delicate employment, marital or financial circumstances BPdogblower.org is here to help. Payment of the usual fee to our finance director and accounts receivable wallah would be much appreciated.

Alternatively in these straitened times you may wish to do this yourself.

You do know how to blow a dog-whistle don't you?
You put the dog to your lips and blow!

The Panto Season - Madness

A panto was staged the other evening by Newsnight with Dame Violent Elizabeth Tett and three economistas staring into a cauldron of steaming graphs. I felt the chill wind of a more than Shakespearean tragedy looming. The graph which scared the wooly socks off me was the one at the link (image 12 in the slide show) It is titled Chart 1.1 Private sector debt in the UK. Its source is the Office for National Statistics. It expresses that debt as a percentage of GDP and splits the debt into non-financial companies, households and financial companies. In the caption under the graph Ann Pettifor, rightly, points out the comparison between the public debt and the private.

Roughly this is the comparison in 2010 between a poor, wee, sleekit, cowrin, timorous public beastie (~50%) and a private monster (~450%).

Things not to say:-
Interest rates are low:- What forever?
Companies are paying down debt even as we speak:- How much of the £7.5 ish trillion has the private sector paid down in the last 5 minutes and where did they get the capital from?
A big boy called Gordie Broon did it and ran away: Oh no he didn't!
Would you like to consolidate that debt by refinancing sir? Doh!

Questions for the young economist.
How much does it cost to finance this debt?
How much of the profit on the cost finds its way to the Revenue Men.
How much of the profit that does not find its way into the HMRC coffers now sleeps soundly in some tax haven alongside the ill gotten gains of ubercrims and tax dodgers?
Answers please on a used £50 note to Gideon at the usual post box in Zurich.

Full disclosure:-
Having completed his HMRC (Happy) Return, Buddhist Pizza is pleased to announce that he included his Coop. Divi. from which tax has already been deducted and the princely sum of £8 pounds, untaxed, (rounded) which derives from his participation in a Credit Union!

(What about the double blind partnerships which you registered in the Cayenne Islands recently? ...Ed.
Never mind that now!)

Christmas Tree

It being that time of year I spotted this at Ikworth.


The camera phone does not do the tree and its colour justice!

The Nativity Particle

And so it came to pass that a particle was born under a cowshed in the land of Gnome.
There was great rejoicing and 3 Quantum Mechanics appeared out of the East End on wave functions to worship bearing 6 sigmas.
While the String Theorists watched over their flocks in 11 dimensions a star was born.... contd. in Table 92.

Things come in threes.

I've just started The Black House by Peter May sadly topical work of fiction about a murder on the Isle of Lewis. The text is prefaced by a quote from a Gaelic Poem and the translation is given as

Three things that come without asking: fear, love and jealousy.

Three things again though I thing the inclusion of ham and cheese and the absence of fear and jealousy has much to recommend Baltasar's view of the world.

For the man who has everything

At this time of year it is very easy to get lost in a pile of S**T. Xmas, HMRC, Europe (hey that was a big steaming pile!) and the more important things. It does warm my heart that others get it wrong too. As I was ploughing through the worthy way to purchase Xmas presents, Amnesty goodies etc my attention was drawn to the offer of Fairtrade Jonnies from the guys and gals at New Internationalist. Interesting I thought but my eye was caught, on page 11 of their catalogue, more by the description than the concept. I reproduce it here but don't get me wrong or take it as anything other than praising their products with faint damnation. Their calendar has had pride of place on my present giving list for many years and the photos are a source of joy hope and humanity.

Please don't ring to tell them as this link shows they are well aware of the mistake and like the good folks they are have admitted it in a self deprecating way and moved on.
...twisted round banisters... ouch;
...twistable wire... ouch, ouch.
Approximate length 100cm, oh Lordy, Lordy!

Vermeer's Women

Regular readers may be aware of my attachment to a certain young woman. On Tuesday we were celebrating the birthday of a woman of a certain age by a visit to the FitzBillie to see paintings in the Vermeer's Women Exhibition. It's on until the 15 Jan. so get it while it's good and hot.
Herself pointed out the pictures of Gerard ter Borch. The picture of a woman at her toilet contains a satin dress painted with such skill and delicacy that, even 350 years later, it knocks your socks off. Never enough time in the day or in life!

As they say - "Fine words butter no parsnips".

Risk! What Risk?

A Mr Krugman writes in his sometimes technical but always enlightening blog that he concurs with a Mr Haldane of the Bank of England. The latter opines that much of the present crisis may be put down to the increased appetite of the banking classes for risk, high risk, the risk of a high-wire act. Whyfor should such said classes of person subject themselves to danger of this kind. My own view is that the present system of remuneration among these folk (based on greed, avarice and the existence of schemes for the avoidance of redistributive taxation) encourages, nay handsomely rewards, the beggars and of course our leaders our own dear democratically elected leaders shuffle the blame, cost and pain for this on to our heads, hearts and wallets.

I think I will join Mr Krugman in vegetable chopping therapy.

A Pretty Pickle?

The Pink'un had a lovely headline on Saturday:-

Pickles combats korma trauma with curry school

(FT Weekend 19 November 2011, p4)
The Gauleiter who, it is alleged, is a saucy devil peppering his policy statements with refernces to the cuisine of the sub-continent proposes to stem the tsunami of chefs, sou chefs, sauciers, sommeliers and understrappers from same by establishing a curry school to train British cooks.

The mind boggles.

Zo Heston! You vill make ze chicken tikka masala vith ze powder of ze great Guru Masala!
Ozervise ze Fat Duck vill be no more fat; it is ze vasser bath for you!

Must have been a slow week at communities, maybe a warm up act for the housing strategy.

If you have any doubts whatever about this government of gombeen men I suggest you consider the poster reproduced by Mr Murphy on his excellent Blog here.

Billion Dollar Art Heist

Shenanigans in the art world seem to be my thing at the moment. I watched the above Documentary in the Storyville Series. It's on the eyeplayer for the next couple of weeks.

If you are interested in art, politics, power, charities, how to organise a legacy, the perfidy of folk and others, good guys, bad guys, and about 26 billion dollars and change you might give it a go. I believe the Barnes Foundation has a website and Mr Wikipedia, as always, has something to say about Mr Barnes, who seemed a good soul.
I haven't got there yet. I'm still shocked, shocked, I must sit down. Could someone make me a cup of tea, on the strong side, please?

The Milk of Human Protest

A pleasant evening in with a DVD from the wonderful Suffolk County Libraries. Sad that they are to be slowly throttled with a ruse to ensure SCC will be able to say nothing to do with me gov. it was those idiots over there. It takes a special kind of mind to dream up the idea of getting an Industrial and Provident Society - a mutual organisation- to torture the libraries to death. I digress.

I have been meaning to watch Milk for some time. I am a great fan of Harvey Milk and what he achieved. He certainly learned how to organise. Strangely uplifting for a film in which the gay hero stands in dog shit and gets shot. Can't wait to see the look on the local librarian's face when I take it back!

All Greek to Me

My Greek isn't up to it but I fondly believe this shows a very tired and overemotional ex Greek PM giving a lift to a very tired and overemotional ex Italian PM after a night of commiseration.

Metaphorically!

Questionable Language

I am certain that I will never write a work of fiction. I don't have the capacity, language or imagination even! (HMRC please take note.) However, I hope that does not prevent me from a good laugh at the odd word or two.
I'm reading The Trinity Six by Charles Cummings.
I happened upon this on page 192 and had a good chuckle -

...he checked his vehicles religiously as a hangover from Northern Ireland.

... I knew the Black Bush and Guinness would do for his immortal soul.

Art Theft

Times may be hard but not that hard. I have just read Sandie Nairne’s book of the same name.

It concerns the theft and recovery of 2 paintings from the Turner Bequest.
The thieves were apprehended, as they say, and banged up in chokey. The paintings were not recovered for some time and then only after excruciating and complex negotiations.
Some gambolling thoughts.
Sandie Nairne must have the patience of a recently canonised stoic.
Geoffrey Robinson, whom god should preserve, is to be blessed on the basis of the tale and his part in it.
A Mr Robert Hiscox, insurer of this parish, played a blinder by whipping into line a motley crew of underwriters, understrappers and underlings. (Note to Self:- find out what he did and we will do it to the bankers?!)
We are assured that all was done honestly, decently, truthfully and we have no reason to doubt that. We should, indeed, be extremely grateful to all the good guys and gals. A truly wonderful part of our art heritage was gorne and is now, prodigal like, with us once more. I have to declare an interest at this point and say that I have been known to gaze at J.M. W’s. product (for several hours at a time but only in the privacy of certain galleries that shall remain nameless.)
All this good work has to be set against the possibility that a part of the money paid legally and justifiably for information to facilitate the return of the paintings will end up in the hands of criminals. Not necessarily eccentric toffs but drug dealers, gun runners, people traffickers, and money launderers.
Never simple is it?
Meanwhile if anyone is interested in acquiring a reproduction by some continental underachiever contact me at BPArt through the usual channels. It’s a bit dusty and has been clogging up the attic at The Towers for about 20 years now. Not very well composed, one of the 3 figures is sitting with his back to the audience. The Dutch dauber has tried to liven it with a few birds and paintings within the painting but it doesn’t do much for me. We used to have it in the downstairs loo but Lady BP said it exacerbated her constipation. I know what she means. No reasonable offer refused.

Is Rubberman Losing it?

I know it is unworthy. I know it is kicking a man when he is down. My benefit of a good catholic education is thereby cast away but I could not prevent myself thinking the unthinkable. The FT headlined a story:-

Cameron argues more women in the boardroom would lead to curb on pay.
(FT Weekend Front Page 29/10/11)

Now was he suggesting that women on top would be more responsible or was he suggesting that the ladies could be had for less?

Oh dear, mixed messages! It is only a matter of time before the WI comes after you Dave. Look what happened to Tony Blair. Do you really want to stand in front of a polite audience of women, mums and grans, generating gigawatts of righteous indignation. I think we might see more damp patches than those under the arms.

Pie not in the sky?

A late advertisement from the folks at Thriving Too, pie to live for.
As the man said - times may be tough but pie is always good.
I'm a steak and kidney pud man but I do like the idea, especially the slow politics.

According to the post on PieLab for 26 October a Mr J Swift has stated, allegedly, that

Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.

Perhaps our great leaders, our great helmspersons, the suns in our hearts, should take note.
I think a certain Gauleiter by the name of Eric von Pickles may have broken a few pie-crusts in his time!

I am also reminded of Raspberry Pi.

We should declare next year the international year of the pie. After all, there's not much else likely to be going on. I shall get our lobbying arm, PizzaPie in the Sky (incorporated in the Cayenne Island, Double Blind Trust no. 666) to approach Mr Moon forthwith!

Autumn

A child's excitement
Crayfish in the bucket
Another on the line

Mother frets at only two
With an eye to the pot
A friendly parting

Wood remains to be cleared
A dinosaur smiles
Across the river

The cock miscrows the hour
An October sun
Is at its highest in the sky

Warmth flows into
My drug thinned blood
I am the noonday devil

I am the Lord of the Flies
Butterflies and dragonflies attend
I turn to the village in peace

What news of
Banker's bailouts and
Dictators in the desert?

Ooops

Now that's what I call erosion.

Economics and Religion

I was traveling in a bus on a dusty road in Cuba with a bunch of lefties on the one hand and a pack of Christians on the other. (Don't ask!) We were giving voice as they say to while away the time. Trouble. There was a definite grudge fest in the selection of canciones. Banda roja (or possibly rioja in my case) and arias with liberdad and solidaridad were alternating with songs of praise. I could see this culminating in a Bellini like tradgedy. I decided to provide the Monagues and Capulets with a rendition of that Glasgow classic:- Jesus puts his money in the Glasgow Savings Bank - Jesus Saves! It was an exito; a light tenor and being large and unsightly did the trick.
I think the next one up was Nessum Dorma. If you don't know it I'm sure Mr U Tube will provide some examples for you. I believe a chap called Pavarotti had a bit of success with it a while ago. Never did find out what happened to him.

Which is a long way round to the nice little Banx cartoon which I saw in the FT yesterday.
Man, in duffle coat and beard with placard which bears the words:-

JESUS SAVES SPENDS

Happy Birthday

A recent celebration reminds me of the fact that I was born too poor to have a middle name, while some people had THREE names.
Your man has caused me to laugh uproariously on public transport, getting some quare looks I can tell you. He has infested my head with voices of the brother's brother and the plain people of Ireland, amongst some I could mention. I've come out in boils as big as Fin McCools elbow at the mere hint of another entry in the catechism of cliche by some gobshite politician in these hard times. (Careful now you're getting overexcited ...Ed)

Definitely a part of my life and I'm glad of it.

Sad he was such a bugger for the bottle and a pint of plain. Still, we all have our little weaknesses!

Hare

I was persuaded to read The Hare with Amber Eyes by Edmund de Waal even after listening to extracts on the wireless! (We retired types live such busy lives.) The website link gives pictures of the netsuke. The book was a delight, the pictures are a delight, I am, as you can imagine, delighted.

There will be those who criticise - is it a history, is it biography, is it a fiction, is it a dog with 3 legs? De Waal was concerned about writing ... 'too thin a story'. (p15 in the Vintage paperback) I was certainly happy with the heft of it. His subsequent comments about making things provided an excuse to read The Wrench by Primo Levi, I'm glad I did.

If you don't find something you like

I apologise for showing a snap of this painting without being able to give an attribution.
I will, of course, correct that if someone could....



The snap is mine and I couldn't resist the message...


Responses may be printed (only if I say so ...Ed.)

Too Good to Miss

Simon Hoggart in the Grauniad managed to slip in Theresa May's pussy, and there was a snap of the leopardskin shoes. So far so no 'Cat Woman'. Let me be the first!