What we did on our holidays

Reading

Swimming

Eating

Sleeping

Lakka

Dawn boy brings his blessing to the bay.
The cock, finally, signals the right hour.
Smokers join in the dawn chorus.

Sailors stir, some to fish, some to ferry.
Those with time mess with their boats,
Fixing and setting, swimming and swabbing.

A boat returns with provisions and a lookout dog.
From the crow’s nest of our balcony
We watch a flight of crows below.

The beach in full sun; houses piled on a shady hillside.
The olive trees, a grey green fringe on a shimmering pate.
We start the day with beauty around us.

Back with a Bang

Being at a loose end (rather than the end of my tether) on Saturday I went to the local flea pit to see The Guard.

The usual tale of sex, drugs and Irish traditional music. Nothing there that you could not take your mammy to see as long as she does not understand the Gaelic and why those two wee lassies dressed as Garda are wearing such short skirts. Terrible political incorrectness was noted!

I haven't laughed so much since the old queen died.

Stormy Weather

Normal Service will be Resumed After a Period of R and R.

(Absolutely outrageous; life is one long holiday for some people... Ed)

Memory

Regular readers will be aware that memory is becoming a feature of this blog.
For the life of me I can't remember why?
Easy enough to make a joke. Perhaps that is fear of dementia striking. We think we see the signs every day:-
Where did I put my keys...?
I never forget a face but what was your name again...?
That sounds awfully familiar...?
Can you catch dementia from a book?

Turn of Mind by Alice LaPlant attempts to get inside the mind of a person with dementia. It is a novel/dark thriller with a sting in the tale, but with so much more. On page 203 a detective is talking to Jennifer, the protagonist and prime suspect, who is dementing but perhaps not so gently:-

People think it's just forgetting your keys, she says. Or the words for things. But there are the personality changes. The mood swings. The hostility and even violence. Even from the gentlest person in the world. You lose the person you love. and you are left with the shell.

She stops and pauses. Do you know what I'm talking about?

I nod. My mother.

The woman nods back. And you are expected to go on loving them even when they are no longer there. You are supposed to be loyal. It's not that other people expect it. It's that you expect it of yourself. And you long for it to be over soon.

Nicci French and S J Watson appear to rate it!

Taxonomics

The Buddhist Pizza College of Higher Taxonology (AKA The College of Knowledge or CoK) is pleased to announce an additional course in its extensive curriculum.

Taxonomics may be of interest to all those of means who have been disappointed in the current round of applications to less regarded institutions of learning. The objective of the course in is to ensure that the graduands go out into a harsh world with a firm grasp on their money and that of others, of course.

A quick example of the value we can bring. There have been attempts to collect more and more tax from fortunate individuals who have taken advantage of the superb tax environment offered by the Swiss authorities. The course will demonstrate how it is possible to adjust wealth lodged in this jurisdiction well before the 2013 deadline as easily as adjusting ones dress! The areas of offshore, transfer pricing, opacity, obscurity in corporate structure and beneficial non attributable ownership are pursued with legal and accounting rigour and extensive practical working examples. It has not been confirmed yet but we hope to have an inaugural lecture by a well known speaker on the personal benefits of the anonymous double trust. At this stage I can say no more! There will be extensive seminars, lectures and tutorials with highly regarded and
successful individuals who are conversant with individual tax havens, globalisation and the opportunities offered by development aid. We will not be offering input from the islands surrounding this one that have provided excellent service in the past. We feel their time is over and real wealth is moving elsewhere. While the Corporation of the City of London has been singled out for some criticism we feel it has created the right democratic structure, enterprise environment and business opportunity for the creation of serious money. We will take advantage of that and the opportunities offered by certain states in the USA. A field trip to the Cayenne Islands, where our sister enterprise Buddhist Pizza Inc. is incorporated and has its magnificent headquarters alongside Fast Willy’s Chicken Diner. In the interest of global development we will take at least one meal there, gratuities not included.

The theoretical underpinning of the course is that public expenditure is a giant Ponzi scheme and anything one can do to avoid contributing will bring benefits to the individual, society and the moral purpose of same. The emphasis is, of course, on avoidance. This is, as we all know, perfectly legal or as perfectly legal as armies of m'learned friends are able to demonstrate. It is tiresome to have to keep repeating this point but there are those who continually harp on about examples of legal actions that may well provoke moral repugnance and outrage! There are also those who claim to have identified a, so called, Tax Gap and suggested that this could be used to cure some of the current ills of the near perfect system of Capitalism we are evolving. The assertion that the existence of this Gap is akin to running a shop or business where rich customers choose what they will pay, if anything, for goods and services while less fortunate pay the full whack is bizarre. If only, but clearly not the case.

We are certain that at the completion of the course graduates will have increased their personal wealth by a factor of 1,000 in ways which will maximise its earning power in tax obscurity and secure it in perpetuity, safe from the ravening maw of the revenue man. I'm sure you will agree that is a challenging and intellectually rewarding task. Well worth the £100,000 fee we would expect to trouser as a private organisation. We are a charity registered in the Cayenne Isles and as a result, bursaries are only available to residents of that jurisdiction who satisfy the Loan Panel that they are truly indigent. (Please note the bursaries are only available in the form of loans and the panel next meets in 2015.)

(Many thanks to Richard Murphy, Nick Shaxson, and all the usual suspects who toil endlessly to expose the greedy, gouging, tax dodging ... Steady on; a man needs a few bob in his trousers for a rainy day. And haven't you come to some arrangement with the People's Bank about a cash ISA thingy...Ed)

Raspberry Pi

I think it is in the interest of solidarity among interweb comestibles that I mention Raspberry Pi. If you would like to see what they are up to, the home page gives you an embedded video or link direct here. If you are more a wordy sort of soul then Uncle Wiki might do the trick.

For Sun readers who stumble across this page looking for thrills:- this is about putting a sort of computer and the links to other stuff and all manner of things on a stick, and plugging it into the telly; all for £20 and change. Of course you don't understand it or see why. Your kids will, so buy them one, each. It will keep them off the streets. And no there are no parts of the female anatomy on show in this blog. Thank you very much and good day. Get yourselves back to whatever the Dirty Digger is offering at the moment!

Many thanks to Mr N for the link, as always.

Remember the old interweb proverb:-

The technology that farinates together causes the dough to rise!

Hackem and Backem 2011.

Mists, Mellow Fruits and Mushrooms!

Looking for Eric

Has anyone seen Gauleiter Pickles?
Latest on News and Events section of his website - April 26 - yes that is 2011.
Ah! spotted on the Torygraph commenting on the little, local, difficulty we seem to be having.

There have been some good things that have come out of this.

Phew that's alright then.

He waddled as far as Edmonton Fire Station to praise the work of the Brigade, its professionalism and courage. (Well I can hardly say goosestepped)
If you check out the results of the photo op you will see Mr Pickles being given directions to the 'all you can eat, buffet lunch', which is available just round the corner.
(That is grossly unfair. The man is just big boned and has a genetic predisposition, probably. You can hardly complain from your somewhat rotund and gravitationally challenged frame. Let's have no more attacks of a personal nature or I'll be telling the good folks who read this blog about the consumption of kebabs and the Sunday night visits to the curry establishments on Brick Lane ...Ed)

Looting

Looting, what looting?

Nick Shaxson offers evidence that it was the big boys wot done it, and ran away!

A £14 billion bunce. Now that's what I call 'recreational looting'.

How many watches would that buy down Mere St?

Still Voices

It is difficult in the present turmoil to get a handle on sanity and keep a firm hold for fear of finding something worse. No doubt we will be subjected to the whys and wherefores enunciated by politicians for some time to come or at least until the next dreadful thing.

Did you see Harriet winding Micky the Gov(e) up on Newsnight? There is a partial transcript here with commentary by Nicholas Watt on his Grauniad blog. I often refer to the quality of being able to wind up a quartz watch. She demonstrated it in spades. My, theatrical, take on this exchange was that she pushed his buttons to the point where he verbally lashed out, effectively loosing it. She then sat back and took it on the chin to show what a bore and a bully he is. The picture of someone so far up himself, enunciating very precisely, clearly and in clipped tones the reason why he is glowing with indignation like a Japanese reactor did not inspire confidence. This is a man with his finger on the pulse. Sadly, in a family blog like this, before the watershed, I am not able to disclose where that pulse is.

The excellent Mr Naughton has a very clear perspective on the context of the 'recreational looting' in his blog, here.
He makes a plea for

...a serious attempt to understand what underpins the current crisis.

Otherwise

If we don’t learn from it then we’re screwed.

We are screwed.
Comfort? There is none unless we act. It's going to be slow but let's start now!

Vulture Capitalism ll

I have mentioned Vulture Capitalism before in a slightly different context, namely, ripping the heart out of countries and economies that can barely support life.

I also cogitated, a mite ironical at the time perhaps, that Subprime Warriors, Vulture Capitalists all, had become vegetarian or vegan even!

A further taxonomic development has been advanced by the excellent Mr Murphy in his blog on the Tax Research site concerning the role of tax havens in global recession. Feral capitalism is preached by feral capitalists as they roam across the world with very little restraint.

In the whiff of smoke as London burns there is another deeply offensive smell. I last half choked on it in Spain as we discovered the corpse of a wild horse being stripped of flesh and lights by a large vulture.

Outrage!

Thanks to Tessy at Thriving Too for the Big Society: Time for Outrage? blog.

Again, if you have time between applying the factor forty and sipping that G&T follow the link to
this translation of a pamphlet by Stephane Hessel, Who he? To my shame I'd never heard of him. He is a mere 94, lived through World War II in the French Resistance and, in 1948, he was involved in the production of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. So he has been round the block a few times and recognises the need to catch the last bus.

What are you going to do?

All Bets Off

I know! I know! I shouldn't do this but the temptation to describe it as Gideonomics is just too great. Do take time out from your busy lives to read this brief summary of the madness of Gideon and his ilk. I think Mr Murphy has a point.

It would be hilarious to watch a bunch of millionaire toffs make a complete mess of the economy as they explain how it was a big boy what done it and ran away. The reality is that millions will suffer in this country and elsewhere as a result. The sooner they are sent back to the security and comfort of their trust funds the better.

By the way have you noticed how often the chattering classes are using the phrase:

Kicking the can down the road.

We used to do that as kids as we strolled along discussing Camus or the influence of Joyce on the novel. Happy days!

The Confidence Fairy

Before we all get carried away by Mr O'Bama's miracle cure for the American Economy can I point out Mr Krugman's negative view, from the NYT. I particularly like the idea of the confidence fairy,

The worst thing you can do in these circumstances is slash government spending, since that will depress the economy even further. Pay no attention to those who invoke the confidence fairy, claiming that tough action on the budget will reassure businesses and consumers, leading them to spend more. It doesn’t work that way, a fact confirmed by many studies of the historical record.

I can see her now, a vision in a froth of white chiffon, a golden wand with a silver star on the top and the twinkling sound it makes as she shakes it over Gideon's porcine features.

Back to our profligate friends across the water. I can't believe Toby and Josh are not beavering with others in the background so that CJ can deliver a knockout blow to the evil empire. Oops carried away there.

Tax rates may not be about to increase but that does not mean the tax take can not increase! If the revenue men get out there offshore and bring home the gouging b*****ds bacon we could all rest a little easier in our beds!

The introduction of colour

You may have noticed that Ed. asked me to be a bit more upbeat, positive even. As a medicinal practitioner of some years standing I have been appointed to a personal chair in the Hospital for Spectral Diseases. I have decided to introduce a little colour into this blog.
We now have Blue Labour and Red Tories, but why stop the pathology there. Keep a close eye on those pink fascists and the rainbow of Islam, from Sufi to Wahhabi. While you're at it you might take note of the green hand of Ulster nestling in the orange shamrock. As a case study I will be investigating a certain Signor Berlusconi who has turned a delicate shade of indigo, no sniggering at the back there! Do you not know that indigo is the imaginary colour invented by a Mr I Newton many years ago to show how all things cluster in sevens?
We have been been overwhelmed by the pensionistas in a tide of mateus rose.
Recently I observed a world famous athlete giving the salute of the Pink Panthers!
In this colour blind universe the Greens would, of course, be coal black. Over the Holy City a device would flutter that was half as gold as green!
The Central Committee of the Communist Party of the Peoples Republic of China has decided that it will no longer hoist the red flag but march under a banner of grey!

Pay up and shame the devil?!

As my mother used to say when it was no longer possible to maintain the balance of payments in our favour.

I believe the largest debtor in the world is facing a few tricky moments in the trousering department. Could be serious but you can see quite clearly how the old Republican and Tea Party have taken up residence in Dagenham, one stop beyond Barking (not that old chestnut again... Ed.) Powerful article by Mr Krugman of the NYT about the need for imbalance and a nice little interactive graphic from those NYT readers who wished to comment on the crisis(Crisis, what crisis? as someone once famously didn't say!) Draw your own conclusions about that and NYT readers from the shades and distribution. Enjoy; as they say but maybe not for much longer.
(You're getting too transatlantic in the old textual department, cloyingly so, if I may mention it...Ed. Also could we not be a bit more upbeat, positive, cheerful even!)

The new tricks of the old dog

I have mentioned before the numbers of mobile phones in the world, allegedly.
I revisited the lost socks department of my brain after reading this article in Th'Observer.

The involvement of the Grameen Foundation seems very positive and the implications for development absolutely sock loosening. The system Grameen are building relies on community knowledge workers (CKW) who are paid. Hmm... Perhaps we should have few of those.

Interesting contrast then - The old dog and bone. For hacking or accelerated development to the point where we don't have to watch small children starving to death before our eyes.
You choose!

Orphans of the storm

Moving on from the comment that it is all Greek to me.
The excellent Nick Shaxton provides a report of a view from within Greece in his Treasure Islands blog and a link to the Pitsirikos Blog.

Read mark and inwardly digest as they say but in doing this notice a comment:-

Read the newspapers of your country, search on the web and you will see that Greece’s bankruptcy is an orphan.

There are so many poor orphans whereas good fortune has many parents!

Appropriate Conversations

In the excitement yesterday of a statement of regret, protests of innocence and claims of giving a young offender a second chance to prove himself the question of the prime minister's meeting with the representatives of certain News Organs was raised in parliament. Along with the flannel, obfuscation and general verbiage I noticed the phrase appropriate conversations in the subsequent exchanges.

In the dark recesses of my poor brain there is the memory of the phrase criminal conversations. I believe it was used as shorthand for the sort of activity that married couples might engage in, particularly when they were not married to each other if you will pardon the indelicacy.

As a matter of public benefit I think the nation should rise up as one person and provide Mr Cameron with a clear idea of what an appropriate conversation is.

Good morning Mr M!

G'day Rubber Man.

Have you had your breakfast?

(After a long pause) Can't say I have.

Well, let's not keep you from it. I believe they do wonderful drop scones in Alice Springs this time of year!